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Jill Twiss
20.4K posts
Jill Twiss
@jilltwiss
Writing for @AmberMRuffin, @LastWeekTonight. Author of Marlon Bundo & The Someone New. linktr.ee/jilltwiss
Ok the main problem here is you were dating a baby.when I was 19 I briefly dated an IVF baby and ngl..... it didn't seem like he had a soul. he wasn't evil, he was just very npc.- The one good thing about hurricanes is that no one can get their period during them because it is the ruleSen. John Kennedy to Hannity: "She's talking about tampons. The people of Appalachia right now don't give a function about tampons."
00:00 - If my lawyer read a poem and then cried I would just assume I'm getting life in prison
- Um, just found out that for $75 I can put a plaque with anything I want written on it on a bench on Roosevelt Island for 20 years and I think $75 is exactly the amount I'm willing to spend on a good bit.
- "Friends" ended in 2004 and had a reunion this week, which means the cicadas think it was on the whole time
- The whole point is to invent robots to do the work no one wants to do, not to invent robots to do the jobs that people love. How are we messing this up so badly
- This is the weirdest thing I've ever typed, but I have had a treadmill for four years and TODAY OUT OF THE BLUE IT TALKED.
- A real illness I have is I still think "if I just make sure people have the right information then they will change their mind."
- Hi, do you just buy six towels when you are 28 years old and then use them for the rest of your life?
- I have said this before, but it's weird when you realize that what you thought was rock bottom was actually somewhere around rock middle
- Nancy Pelosi is 84 and wearing stilettos and I have refused to go to a concert unless there are chairs since I was like 26
- won't someone please invent a nightstand the size of a dining room table for all my waters and lotions and books
