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john
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john
@johnsemley3000
writer, researcher, ultimate nfl insider. full of deep sympathy, modified by contempt. follow @slowlearnerspod same handle on b-sky.
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johnsemley.com
Joined October 2010
2,045
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14.7K
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  • Pinned
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    john
    @johnsemley3000
    Apr 23
    Replying to @Manuel_Ibarra
    I’m making a joke.
    23K
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    john
    @johnsemley3000
    Sep 13, 2022
    modern day pie-cooling-on-a-windowsill
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    john
    @johnsemley3000
    Jun 17, 2022
    found this note on the door of my local cinema.
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    john
    @johnsemley3000
    Dec 9, 2022
    the richest man in the world should not be so online. it’s unbecoming. JP Morgan once took a boat to Egypt because he wanted to sleep in a tomb to imagine what it’s like to be a dead Pharaoh. that’s what rich people should be doing. not tweeting about NYT movie lists. yuck.
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    john
    @johnsemley3000
    Oct 3, 2024
    “Stats are numbers, numbers are nerds, nerds are losers.”
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    Fox News
    @FoxNews
    Oct 2, 2024
    Jason Kelce blasts statistics in wild rant: 'Stats are numbers, numbers are nerds, nerds are losers' trib.al/IcQSLpp
    3M
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    john
    @johnsemley3000
    Sep 23, 2025
    good example of “Catholic Brain”: being a nonbelieving atheist who was raised Catholic, seeing people fretting about “the rapture,” and having a little voice in your head that instinctively scoffs “you’re not even real Christians.”
    1.2M
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    john
    @johnsemley3000
    Sep 9, 2025
    not to "hand it to him" but convincing all your rich famous friends to send you sexually explicit notes and doodles for a "birthday book" (not a thing) is a pretty good way to exert leverage on those people.
    750K
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    john
    @johnsemley3000
    Jul 26, 2024
    the episode of BAR RESCUE where Jon Taffer turns a pirate-themed tavern into “Corporate Bar & Grill,” whose logo is a faceless man in a suit: the most evil hour of TV ever produced. never has a man ground human souls into dirt with such relish. monstrous.
    2.6M
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    john
    @johnsemley3000
    Sep 29, 2025
    I once skipped on the chance to see Daft Punk on the Alive tour because I wanted to see The Simpsons movie. among the top regrets of my young life.
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    20th Century Studios
    @20thcentury
    Sep 29, 2025
    Woohoo! The Simpsons are coming to theaters with an all-new movie on July 23, 2027!
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    1.1M
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    john
    @johnsemley3000
    Aug 15, 2024
    Trump is in his lair beating Don Jr over the head with a thesaurus to get “Rick DeSanctimonious,” and the sundowning sitting president just snipes him with “Donald Dump.”
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    Acyn
    @Acyn
    Aug 15, 2024
    Biden: The guy we're running against, what's his name? Donald Dump or Donald whatever
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    00:00
    796K
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    john
    @johnsemley3000
    Jul 9, 2025
    I hate to be "Freudian" but it is literally true in 100% of cases that the people who advocate for white superiority on the basis of "race science" are always--ALWAYS--comically laughable physical specimens.
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    EarthAbides
    @killerandfiller
    Jul 7, 2025
    Here he is snuggled up to Curtis Yarvin
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    928K
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    john
    @johnsemley3000
    Apr 13, 2022
    Gilbert Gottfried died as he lived, with people saying “too soon.”
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    john
    @johnsemley3000
    Nov 30, 2022
    not much of a "God Guy." but when you learn that Ray Liotta's final, posthumous performance is in a movie called "Cocaine Bear," and that this is his look in it? well, it's hard not to believe there's some divine architecture glistening behind this pale drape we call "reality."
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    john
    @johnsemley3000
    Sep 19, 2022
    they made a series of profitable comedy movies in the 1980s about just how insanely brutal it was to be with your family inside one of these.

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