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I’ve just released my stand-up comedy special “Punch-Drunk” on my shiny new website for free.
Hope you enjoy it 🥊🐿️
kaihumphries.com
Kai Humphries
17.1K posts
Kai Humphries
@kaihumphries
Geordie comedian performing all over the globe, grab a ticket to a live show or watch my specials for free on your device 👇by clicking this👇
- Philip Schofield getting away with cheating on his wife with an 18yo boy he’d known for 6 years then getting done for queue jumping is peak Britain
- Tottenham joining a European super league is like Bananaman getting called up as an Avenger
- Beating Man Utd is like shagging the hottest girl from your high school but 20 years later after her 4th kid and 2nd divorce
- Replying to @kaihumphriesIt’s like Pablo Escobar getting done for a late library book
- I was saying this ages ago, even before he jumped the queue
00:00 - Replying to @kaihumphriesIt’s like Boris Johnson getting done for having a party 🤷♂️
- I imagine the best thing about being right wing is that left wing views you once had can’t come back to haunt you, no one is digging out a tweet from 2010 where you showed empathy
- Dunno what this little guy did to get a guard of honour but you gotta respect it
- My wife has sung flower of Scotland about 30 times this-morning and points at me shouting “WANKERS” mid song, every time
- People stating on social media that they’ve never watched game of thrones is the lamest muggle shit I’ve ever witnessed
- Remember this lady who saw us struggling and taught us how to knit last January. I just found her number and had the nicest text exchange with her, she couldn’t believe our Xmas jumpers. What a belta moment reconnecting with her. I’m buzzing!
