Pinned
karl hess
11.8K posts
karl hess
@karlhess
comic, writer, “all-around good time fun wine boy” -@thetakeout. host of Yelling About Pâté @YAPpod. ig: @karlhess. karlhesscomedy.com
- can’t believe wearing masks when we walked in and then taking them off when we sat down didn’t work
- apparently a guy accidentally tasered himself in the balls and then died of a heart attack while trying to steal a painting yesterday and if we can’t all come together over how hilarious that is we may be beyond hope
- don’t worry there won’t be another lockdown we’ll just normalize dying from covid like we’ve normalized dying from poverty, gun violence, police shootings, lack of housing, suicide, opioids, lack of access to medical care etc etc
- think i’m gonna get on the mediterranean diet (14 cigarettes and 5 espressos while sitting all day in front of a café)
- in my opinion yamaha is probably the best grand piano/motorcycle company out there
- if timothee chalamet went on Hot Ones he would die immediately
- stop rebooting spiderman and batman every two years and give us what we really want: a zorro who fucks
- you’re not a “picky eater” you’re 33 and afraid
- Replying to @karlhesscan’t find confirmation on the ball thing but the apparent fact that a man tasered himself and died will have to be enough
- LA is entering the dreaded "it's significantly colder in your home than outside for reasons that remain elusive" season
- elon if you venmo all of us 500 dollars we’ll stop making fun of you on here
