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Men's midlife crises are intensely boring they just get an expensive bike and marry a 30 year old version of the same wife whereas women do fucken cool stuff like open owl cafes, retrain as beekeepers and get phds in necromancy.
Helen Kingston
6,667 posts
Helen Kingston
@kingstonwrites
Screenwriter🍿 netflix/amazon/curzon/amc
Writer of film, television and stupid jokes 🎬
Mainly on instagram @ kingstonwrites
- not been this tense watching a door since Parasite"A lot of people are going to change their behaviour." Professor Robert Kelly tells Sky News he thinks South Korea will keep the #coronavirus outbreak under control, after the country reported more than 160 new cases. Get the latest on #COVID19 here: trib.al/wwFkaIb
00:00 - Still haunted by my GCSE German speaking exam when the examiner asked what I liked doing and I said reading and she asked what books I liked and I panicked and said the name of the only book I knew the title of in German. Yeah, that one.
- I wonder if the Virgin Mary was ever like, you can just call me Mary there's no need
- Men who are after a quiet woman with an entirely hairless body who smiles all the time may be looking for a dolphin.
- I jusy overheard a small girl in the park saying to her friend “One died and the other one moved to Japan, so I only have one enemy left.”
- so when they said we will have a “Festival of Brexit”, what they meant was a “Recession”
- I miss pretending to write in cafes.
- This is why you probably shouldn't put up £840-a-roll gold wallpaper in a rental property.
- Those poor Marie Kondo followers stuck in their empty houses
- Men if you want to know what to say on a date to make someone fall in love with you please watch the Andrew Garfield date with Amelia Dimoldenberg and study the six seconds between 6.24 to 6.30. Not even kidding.
- Staying inside at night doesn't solve the problem. I was sat reading a book in a beautiful park on a sunny day and a stranger came over and put his hand up my dress. It is not our behaviour that should change.
- In 200 years people will be paying $600 to watch the musical version of this on Broadway.
