Pinned
I guess every Wordle on the first try and every time I refresh ThisPersonDoesNotExist it's another one of my coworkers
kiwi ๐ชฌ๐๐๏ธ
4,950 posts
kiwi ๐ชฌ๐๐๏ธ
@kiwehhhhh
her stare stains your retina like a gray bulb as you switch hemispheres and her knee length quilt skirtโs cut to catch the squall
- A new pastime of mine is passing along wild shit I hear about Elon Musk to my reasonable, mild-mannered father. like at dinner โhey dad did you know that Muskโs 13 kids were mostly conceived thru male-selective IVFโ and he just goes
- my husband says 100 men could easily defeat a gorilla by all piling on top of it and โsmothering itโ and when I pointed out this would probably lead to a number of human casualties under the crush pile he just said โbees do itโ
- One time I went to a Christmas light show at the botanical gardens and they had a reindeer and it looked old as fuck so I asked how long reindeer live and the guy said "about 15 years" and I asked "how olds this one" and he grimly replied "15."had to teach my 23yo coworker that reindeer are in fact real animals and not fantasy creatures
- Iโve never seen a โpeople also askโ with the f-bomb before lol
- Today my baby was pretending he was gonna give the cat his binky and cracking himself up. So I wrote โunderstands that good comedy includes a subversion of expectationsโ on his milestones calendar
- Replying to @kiwehhhhhMy dad before and after being subjected to any piece of information about Elon musk
- My grandma thinks all scam calls are from the same Indian guy. โHeโs been calling me for years,โ she says.
- the chinese have replicated the room temp superconductor AND they can triple jump. It's so over for the west่ผๅpart2 ๅฐๆๅๅคซ
00:00 - My parents have a bar of soap that looks like meat (not on purpose I don't think?) and I feel weird using it to wash my hands
- I still tell people that the world is running out of QR codes even though I know itโs not true
- Apple Arcade has given me an insane default username??? And I don't know how to change it lmao???
- My dad asked my son to go for a walk after dinner last night by saying "are you ready to embark upon our evening constitutional?" to which my son solemnly said "ya baba, wesgo."
