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A lady at the airport brought her own personal tube of mayonnaise. I’ve yassified her to maintain anonymity but she’s my hero.
Michelle Collins
60.1K posts
Michelle Collins
@michcoll
Comedian and host of The Michelle Collins Show. Don't make me describe it just click below and see for yourself.
Joined June 2009
- homophobia 🙁Chick-fil-A’s popular chicken sandwich contains a controversial ingredient bit.ly/2I3S9yA
- J-Lo’s been with him for like 2 weeks and he’s hot as shit again. I bet his phoenix back tattoo is slowly disappearing like the photo in Back to the Future.
- Can’t believe Joe’s getting sworn in on a Cheesecake Factory menu
- A listener in Medina, Ohio messaged to tell me that her local fire department rescued 10 turtles from a blaze and they made LIL TURTLE OXYGEN MASKS for them!! My heart truly can’t handle this ❤️🐢❤️
- This is how you knock on a bathroom door when someone is throwing up or has diarrhea, not when you just broke off your engagement #thebachelor
00:00 - I was being followed by a man in a leather jacket & hat today. He blocked me on the sidewalk to talk to me after I tried to lose him twice, so I went into a store to get rid of him. 3 young guys with teardrop face tattoos followed me inside to see if I was ok. My heart ❤️❤️❤️🥺🥺
- Peleton’s gonna have to do another ad “just kidding we killed him”
- I miss the old days when we would’ve started a twitter account for Meredith’s bangs #RHOSLC
- The reporter echoing Tiffany Haddish’s “She ready!” should be grounds for dismissal 💀
