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Jordan
4,958 posts
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Jordan
@mr_certainly
Health and Wellness Blog
Nyc
Joined July 2023
989
Following
2,668
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  • Pinned
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    Jordan
    @mr_certainly
    Apr 23, 2025
    Health and wellness is ruining my life
    49K
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    Jordan
    @mr_certainly
    Nov 21, 2024
    The human body wasn’t designed for the way most of us currently live. Sitting in a chair jacking off for 5-6 hours every day… we weren’t meant for this
    8.1M
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    Jordan
    @mr_certainly
    Mar 25, 2025
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    2.9M
  • user avatar
    Jordan
    @mr_certainly
    Feb 27, 2025
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    4.1M
  • user avatar
    Jordan
    @mr_certainly
    Nov 21, 2024
    A secret home remedy for chapped lips is to lick them. Your saliva will moisten the lips and relieve the chapping
    3.4M
  • user avatar
    Jordan
    @mr_certainly
    Aug 27, 2024
    Teaching a woman how to play iMessage 8ball by standing behind her and guiding her hands on the phone
    797K
  • user avatar
    Jordan
    @mr_certainly
    Jul 18, 2025
    Give it to me straight doc, how tall am I and how old am I
    558K
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    Jordan
    @mr_certainly
    Mar 25, 2025
    Replying to @L1LPEACH
    [Crawling out from the flaming wreckage of a plane crash,stepping over my fathers corpse] some day I will make an energy drink about this
    230K
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    Jordan
    @mr_certainly
    Aug 22, 2025
    When I was a kid you had to get a Fake ID. And now it seems like you have to get a Real ID
    372K
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    Jordan
    @mr_certainly
    Jul 19, 2024
    Girl you was reading would
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    Joyce Carol Oates
    @JoyceCarolOates
    Jul 19, 2024
    Shelves of non-books for the post-literate.
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    544K
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    Jordan
    @mr_certainly
    Jun 3, 2025
    They call it indica because you can get “in da car” and drive after smoking it
    378K
  • user avatar
    Jordan
    @mr_certainly
    Jun 4, 2025
    That awkward moment when somebody walks a mile in my shoes and outperforms me in every possible way
    549K
  • user avatar
    Jordan
    @mr_certainly
    May 7, 2025
    I need a Brazilian mind lift
    1M
  • user avatar
    Jordan
    @mr_certainly
    Nov 30, 2024
    Long ass day… time to kick back with some non THC weed, a couple of non-alcoholic beers, and a vape pen that just gives you hot air
    254K

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