Red wine makes me want to text her a GIF
Rusty Featherstone
81 posts
Rusty Featherstone
@rustyfeathers
Fat dogs like slow cars
Joined December 2013
- I’ve seen more boobs on the internet in one sitting than my grandpa has seen in his whole life
- New Year’s resolution: griddy more
- Christmas morning stats: Presents: 7 Mimosas: 5 Texts to her: 2.5 Times I’ve listened to heavy metal: 1
- My dream girl: 1. Owns a cookbook 2. Doesn’t follow it 3. Has a big butt
- I’m the Michael Jordan of missing my high school girlfriend
- Going for the family record of wine drank at dinner tonight. All red. No brakes.
- The ball’s been in her court for a couple years now
- You guys eat your chipotle left to right or right to left?
- I have the body of a man whose wife fucks her pilates instructor to counting crows song’s (I’m thinking about getting in shape this year.)
- My type: 1. Hates every fiber of my being 2. Is kinda tan
- If I’m drinking and I can see my reflection you’re have 0% of my attention
- Giving up small titty goth girls for lent… just kidding can you imagine?
