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I didn't realize I was supposed to know how to do everything by my second rodeo. That's still a very low number of rodeos.
Simon Holland
20.5K posts
Simon Holland
@simoncholland
Olympic Hopeful
- If you think Mayweather vs. McGregor is going to be a big fight, wait until my wife finds out I just paid $100 to watch it.
- I want my 13 year old to understand how important honesty is but also know that she is 12 when kids eat free.
- My wife and I are going to be super bummed if we don’t get a good grade on our daughter’s science fair project.
- A couple sat in the booth behind me and one of them said, “you want to go ahead and talk about it now and get it over with?” I haven’t been this excited in a long time.
- Dads love saying, “I can see 3 eggs from where I’m standing that you haven’t found yet.”
- Let’s get married and have kids so instead of a lazy Saturday morning we can panic because a sports uniform didn’t get put in the dryer.
- Dads love saying, “I can see 3 eggs from where I’m standing that you haven’t found yet.”
- No one tells you the stuff your daughter needs for her first dorm room costs eleventy billion dollars.
- Dads love saying, “I can see 3 eggs from where I’m standing that you haven’t found yet.”
- Why would I spend $5 on a bag of apples at the store when I can wear warm fall clothes in 88° weather and pay $56 for our family to pick them ourselves.
- Is it weird that more is being done to stop teenagers from eating laundry detergent than shooting each other?
- I hope my friends don’t find out I own a jacket. -Middle Schoolers
- Daughter is home from college and wants to know if we want to go do something at 9 PM. Uh, we don’t do that here.
