Log inSign up
todd dillard
72K posts
Image
user avatar
todd dillard
@toddedillard
poet with work lots of places, mostly known for not hiking and burning quesadillas
variantlit.com/product/td/
Joined September 2010
2,158
Following
20.7K
Followers
  • Pinned
    user avatar
    todd dillard
    @toddedillard
    Oct 21, 2025
    poetry is everywhere
    a man proposing on one knee on the beach to a woman while two people dressed in a tandem crab costume scuttle along the shore. the picture is labeled “a San Diego couple gets their beach proposal ruined by a two person crab costume”
    2.7M
  • user avatar
    todd dillard
    @toddedillard
    Mar 3, 2021
    asked my 5-year-old what she wanted for dinner and she said “not a burned quesadilla” bc in the summer of 2019 I overcooked one side of her quesadilla
  • user avatar
    todd dillard
    @toddedillard
    Jul 21, 2022
    I don’t know who needs to hear this but living your life to the fullest does not have to involve hiking
  • user avatar
    todd dillard
    @toddedillard
    Oct 16, 2022
    here’s your friendly dad reminder to cut a hole in the pumpkin from the bottom and not the top bc the still-connected stem will keep it from rotting sooner
  • user avatar
    todd dillard
    @toddedillard
    Aug 30, 2024
    my daughter made her own jeopardy game but could only think of one topic 😂
    Image
    2.6M
  • user avatar
    todd dillard
    @toddedillard
    Jun 29, 2023
    the “sex scenes bad” discourse is itself tired and bad but it led me to this so maybe I am thankful?
    Image
    2M
  • user avatar
    todd dillard
    @toddedillard
    Jul 21, 2025
    started juggling in front of my toddler and instead of being impressed he said “why are you doing that”
    606K
  • user avatar
    todd dillard
    @toddedillard
    Jul 2, 2021
    I see your tweet failed to mention all contexts and exceptions. Prepare to be exterminated.
  • user avatar
    todd dillard
    @toddedillard
    Feb 29, 2024
    five people died and six were wounded when British soldiers fired into an angry mob of American colonists and we call that The Boston Massacre 100 dead and 700 injured Palestinians waiting for food though? “chaotic incident” so sick of this
    user avatar
    CNN Breaking News
    @cnnbrk
    Feb 29, 2024
    At least 100 killed and 700 injured in chaotic incident where IDF opened fire as people waited for food in Gaza, Palestinian officials say cnn.com/middleeast/liv…
    1.2M
  • user avatar
    todd dillard
    @toddedillard
    Jan 8, 2024
    I need Democrats to understand that when a protestor shouts "20,000 dead Palestinians; their blood is on your hands" responding with "FOUR MORE YEARS FOUR MORE YEARS FOUR MORE YEARS" is the grimmest, darkest thing imaginable
    user avatar
    IfNotNow🔥✡️
    @IfNotNowOrg
    Jan 8, 2024
    BREAKING: Activists in South Carolina just took over Biden's speech to call for a ceasefire. "20,000 dead Palestinians; their blood is on your hands." Biden was shaken. He's starting to understand the reality: his war on Gaza is horrifically unpopular, and people are fed up.
    Image
    00:00
    1.1M
  • user avatar
    todd dillard
    @toddedillard
    Nov 1, 2019
    Took my 4-year-old to the grocery store and she snuck her teddy bear on the checkout belt and when the cashier “scanned” it she checked the price that popped up on the register and in perfect deadpan said “this bear is priceless”
  • user avatar
    todd dillard
    @toddedillard
    Oct 14, 2022
    it's ceased to be a to-be-read pile of books and has become an art installation on the passage of time
  • user avatar
    todd dillard
    @toddedillard
    Mar 31, 2024
    everyone say nice things about my kid’s bunny cake
    A cake shaped like the Easter bunny
    337K
  • user avatar
    todd dillard
    @toddedillard
    Oct 26, 2022
    professors, if a student you haven't spoken to/interacted with in 15ish years wrote to you and said "hey you were a great teacher I am still benefitting from your teaching, here's a small life update" would that be weird? would you assume the former student wanted something?

New to X?

Sign up now to get your own personalized timeline!

Create account

By signing up, you agree to the Terms of Service and Privacy Policy, including Cookie Use.

Terms of Service|Privacy Policy|Cookie Policy|Accessibility|Ads info|© 2026 X Corp.
Don't miss what's happening
People on X are the first to know.
Log inSign up
Advertisement
Advertisement