An amazing new friend just texted me some of the best news ever
zach k
5,624 posts
- Replying to @zachkettlecornUpdate for people concerned about Jennyโs hooves. Fingers crossed we get a glow-up picture soon
- The guy narrating the planetarium show at the Griffith observatory just referred to the Big Bang as โone of the biggest explosions of all timeโ
- ME: why is "good morning" a normal greeting but "good evening" sounds like i'm an 18th century magician HER: did you get the condom on yet
- Replying to @ChuckGrassleylooks like one of my conspiracy theories checks out. @ChuckGrassley gets his drugs from a middle schooler behind a fast food restaurant
- Replying to @carterhambley @ameliaelizalde and @SamuelSaulsburyi got some interesting data back ya'll
- BREAKING: Waukee Police unsure of how to deal with standoff situation. "All we know how to do is arrest teens with beer," said one officer.
- any time it rains in Des Moines I spend a few seconds thinking about Frank Scaglione and how many favs heโd get from high schoolers for tweeting something like โThis storm is bae! Add me on snapchat or youโre a smelly lil rotten egg haha :)โ
- when u take a pic for instagram & u know u about to get hella likes vine.co/v/O7zIL9eiAFr
- Sorry that's the alcohol talking. Sorry that's the ecstasy trying to kiss your cheek. Sorry that's the weed crying on your doorstep at 3 AM.
