itsrob’s statuslog

The nurse turned on the lights and said "the doctor will see you now"

A lot of people think PhDs are hot because they have more degrees

My bald friend still carries a comb, he just can't part with it

Most people don't know this but after the events of Back to the Future, Doc Brown bought another DeLorean and liked to drive it from time to time.

My stoner friend's cow was grazing on his supply, the steaks have never been higher

My landlord wanted to speak to me about my high heating bills. I said "sure, my door is always open"

South Korea is famous for pop music but I think they really prefer Seoul

My friend tripped and dropped a basket of freshly pressed clothes, I watched it all unfold

I knew I was going to be a pirate from a young age, when report cards came out I always brought home seven C's

If you don't like to haggle, you'll end up paying the price

I bet 9 out of 10 injections are in vein

When I'm broke, I sell yeast to raise some dough

Some think it is silly for Santa to go down the chimney but I think it really soots him

I bet everyone at the north pole eats frosted flakes

My calculator is ugly, but it's what's inside that counts

Lighthouse keepers like to use shine language

Next up I'll tell you the first rule of bluegrass jam: stay tuned!

A guy looked at my harp costume and said "that's too small to be a harp" and I said "are you calling me a lyre?"

The Christmas alphabet only has 25 letters because Noel

Monks make great protesters; the more ohms you have, the greater the resistance

I went to shop at the lego store, people were lined up for blocks

I caught my snowman reaching into a bag of carrots, picking his nose

The best christmas sweaters are made from fleece navidad

I know what you think of as we enter the season of fruitcake, nuts and crackers: me

The carol most sung in the desert is "oh camel ye faithful"

I got a pirated copy of the new Queen movie and I think someone filmed it at the theater; I see a little silhouetto of a man...

A vampire snowman might give you frostbite

The detective identified the murder weapon almost immediately; it was a brief case

I asked the toy store attendant where the Arnold Schwarzenegger dolls were and he said "Aisle B, back"

The best car for crossing a river is most likely a Ford