sic erat en fatis

dear writer!!!

i am so sorry this is late, and thank you so much in advance. i’m sure whatever you write will be fantastic and i’ll cry in delight.


here’s a list of my most favorite tropes:
+ fake dating / fake engagement
+ temporary memory loss
+ endless pining
+ slow dancing that’s “platonic”
+ bed sharing
+ almost confessions that keep getting interrupted
+ hurt/comfort (mild hurt, either physical or emotional)
+ misunderstandings (character a mistakenly thinks that character b is dating someone else for example)

here are some of my ambivalent/dislikes:
- infidelity
- major harm (character death, permanent injury)
- unrequited love (actually unrequited)
- love triangles (while fun i would prefer against them)
- childhood friends (it’s super cute to read but not my favorite!!!)

i’m ambivalent with poly but would prefer it not included in the piece! side pairings involving poly or mentions is totally fine though!

i prefer canon over aus as well. if you would prefer to do an au, i enjoy the cliche coffee and bookstore ones, as well as fantasy. also? if you’re writing gendice, stella is always an option. ♥

please feel free to do whatever rating is most comfortable for you! im very ok with nsfw, as well as soft and sweet pieces. i prefer romantic over platonic, but again, whatever you’re comfortable with!

sorry i don’t have any specifics. i hope the above sparks some sort of idea! i love pining and basically anything using the pairings or characters from my requests, so i trust you!

dear writer!

please find a list of my likes/dislikes below. they include themes and kinks!

likes; requited love, slow-burn, fluff, angst (but with a happy ending), canon divergence, role reversals (in-game roles), hurt/comfort, friends with benefits to more, enemies to lovers, slight asphyxiation, frotting, penetration, making out, hand kissing, body worship, prince/knight, light bondage, restraints.

dislikes; non-con, a/b/o, unhappy endings (i'm so lame), watersports and the like, all gore (save for battle violence/small wounds!), infidelity, threesomes, open relationships, food stuff (unless very tame), master/servant (in a sexual context), sex toys.

 ...so, UVA rejected me.   i haven't told anyone aside from writing it here.  

i don't want people to apologize and pat my back and all that comes with rejections. i'm honestly... revealed, in a weird way, that they did?  granted they have a really awesome ranking and program, but i kind of didn't want to leave new england.  virginia is pretty close, all things considered, but it's not boston.   

i'll tell my parents eventually.      no news from cornell, though.   

 Winter break from undergrad has always served as my 'pet project time'.   This year, I'm going to consciously try and get in shape and lose a bit of belly fat.  It's not that I don't find myself attractive as is, or that I think I'm fat, it's just I've always wanted to be in shape and feel energetic and not get winded after a quick run.  So that's my goal.  I'm going to start tomorrow and document with pictures and weight on my phone.  I won't bother with status updates on here, but just going to post a final beginning-ending comparison.   

I also plan to finish all the routes in DMMD, just because that's fun.  And hopefully start/get most of my thesis done, and write a lot of TWEWY and Free! stuff.  So there it is, folks.  A month's worth of aspirations!

On the law school front, I've been accepted to Northeastern, BC, and George Washington in addition to the already WL.   So we're talking in the low twenty ranked schools, which is absolutely amazing.  I'm waiting back to hear from BU, Cornell, UVA, and UCONN still.  UW put me on the WL but I guess that's a good thing because moving to Seattle has always been a dream but I wonder if it's just a lofty thought and fate is keeping me on the East Coast.

More soon!

I forgot to recap my day, whoops.

I got there around 11 or so to scope out the testing center and the road to get there. As Dad and I were pulling in, Andrew was coming out of his car so we pulled up next to him and was like, "Bitch, we're going shopping." ... No, I just told him to wait a second and that I'd head inside and wait around with him.

Headed in and sat around for an hour and a half to catch up and chat about nonsense. The testing procedure / getting into the testing room was far more simple than I had imagined. I was honestly very, very relieved that it was stress-free. ... Forgive my poor wording right now, there's a frog croaking outside my window and it's very loud and distracting.

Anyway, the first section? I panicked. Legitimately panicked. I didn't check the start-time, didn't look at my watch, started thinking about how it all came down to this, how if I messed up I'd be screwed. I couldn't focus. I kept thinking about my life in general and then worrying about other things not even related to the test and nearly broke down on the test. ... Needless to say, when five minutes-to-go were called, I hadn't even read the last passage. I quickly answered D for all of the last few and then quickly skimmed the passage to try and guess.

At that point, I had fucked up. I nearly rose my hand and asked to cancel my score and walk out.

But I stayed there. The next two sections were better - logic games and logical reasoning. I got through every question and the LR was ok and the LG seemed pretty ok - I made sure to allot enough time to each game and then go back and check the ones I was taking too long on.

At break I nearly cried on Andrew because of the first section freakout. I curled up in the armchair and prayed for about five minutes that the first section was experimental. ... And what do you know, it was.

The last two graded sections went just as presumably well / decent as the others and by the end of it I was tired and feeling a bit more victorious than I had earlier.

It sucks having to wait until July 5th. I really want to know if I need to start studying, again, for October or not. Fingers crossed?

WE ARE GETTING BETTER oh yes we are. I breezed through the logic games earlier. I need to work on my timing, but apart from that they've been going well. Nothing that 26 days of practicing can't help. I've turned to reading comp. tonight to brush up on that and get some more practice in. Tomorrow will be a lot more of the analytical reasoning and logic games again. I need to keep sharp on all three sections so I can score a 170+. Honestly, I believe in myself if I keep up with this regimented studying. I've been scoring around a 165-168 so I mean it's not out of the realm of possibilities. I just need to learn the tricks, learn how to focus in on the questions and the passages / problems, and go from there. I just really want to get into a T20, ok? ;w;

Jesus christ why does this test determine so much of my LIFE? I also don't have all my grades back yet from this semester and oh my god this test. I REALLY CAN NOT DO THIS I MAY HAVE A NERVOUS BREAKDOWN. Tomorrow after I cook for Mother's Day starts my hardcore hours of studying. I need to take the full test to see where I'm testing so I can plan the rest of my month of training. Guys I'm going to lose my shit. Also, dear older!self in the future, I know you'll be reading this and laughing because you know the outcome and how everything pans out, but at this moment I'm losing my shit.

Life's gotten a lot more convoluted lately. It's crazy. I won't pretend I'm not scared, because I really am. My family is going through the most trying times yet. My grandfather's second wife passed in the summer, my sister has been diagnosed with PTSD, my Mom is coming off her medication during the most hectic of times, and I'm starting to wonder the validity of what I've been told. You know, my birth and my parents' wedding. It's a horrible thought, but. The math doesn't add up and it's taken me twenty years to ponder on it.

I'm halfway through my junior year of college. I need to start studying for LSAT, need to keep making connections, need to figure out where I'm going. Am I staying with finance and getting an MBA? Or am I getting that JD/MBA and going to Boston?

And god, I won't lie, I'm scared of my decisions. I don't want to lose anyone else. I don't want one decision to make me lose the people who matter most to me - especially him. But god, I'm terrified. What if I dont' go through with something I really want because I'm scared?

God, it's so unfair, this anxiety. And really, I'm petty for complaining, but I have to smile and put up a front for most people. Because it can't all be bad, right? Why succumb to the sadness? Why not smile...

I just entrust it all to fate. Keep guiding me, please. Keep allowing me to meet people who will change my life for the better. All these secret mentors that appear out of split decisions.

Don't let me fall astray.

musebox is over (here)
drop me a line if you're ever interested, ok bros?