As of late, I'm confused. I'm in a whirlwind.

In the past year, so many things have changed. I've: obtained a life-long relationship, one I never thought was possible and one I'd be utterly devastated to lose... regained a sister in my life, who is currently living in the basement of our house, who lost her children to her ex-husband for a year, who is struggling to finish a degree and get her life back together... changed my intended undergraduate major from English to some sort of Business, in hopes of getting a useful undergrad degree so that during law school (assuming I can get into one), I can score a decent paying part-time job somewhere... Dealt with getting a B- for the first time in my life ... Made some new and amazing friends ... lost friendships I thought were eternal, but realized as time goes on people change, grow up, and that's okay, it's okay ... learned to deal with the fact both my parents need medication for anxiety and depression after all that's happened - and no, I don't think any less of them for seeking out external help ... and tried to find myself.

Who am I, really?

I love books, but I rarely read anymore, I love adventuring, but I haven't in forever, I love pasta, but it's not been on the forefront of my meal choices, I love shopping, but I can never find something that makes me that damn excited to buy it, I love the world, but at the same time, am still confined to a hundred mile radius.

Who am I, really...?

Where will I be in five years? Law school somewhere, getting ready to graduate? Still with my soul-mate? Will something tragic have happened? Will I even be alive?

Hah, who really knows.

All I know is my desire to help people will never change. Anyone, whoever, stranger or best friend, I want to help. Lend an ear, lend some cash, smile, hug, I don't care. I want to help.

And maybe that sounds odd coming from someone who wants to work "for the man" as a corporate attorney, but I have to make a life somehow. But with that money, that success, that desire to strive for more and more in the business world... I can help people. I CAN make a difference.

I'll be on the map. I'll be known.

And god damn, I won't be stopped.