Children In Love
Jul. 6th, 2022 04:25 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
apachefirecatTitle: Children In Love
Fandom: X-Men (Generation X)
Author: Apache Firecat
Rating: PG/K+
Pairing: Chamber/Husk, Banshee/White Queen, Banshee/Moira, Skin/Jubilee, Synch/Jubilee, Skin/Husk(/Jubilee)
Summary: Sean recognizes they are all, underneath all the layers of pain and hurt, strength and determination, nothing really more than children... children in love.
Content Notice: None
Disclaimer: All characters within belong to Marvel Comics and Disney, not the author, and are used without permission.
Author's Note: Been too long since I got to play with this team. :)
Word Count: 1669
He watches her glow in the firelight, leaning back in the shadows where he'll be even less noticeable. He used to be beautiful. He used to be a man who could offer her something. He used to actually be a whole man. But now he's nothing, a nothing that's even missing half his face.
He fiddles with his empty hands, sliding a ring up and down one finger. He twists and turns the simple band with sparks of firelight dancing across it. Yet he still cannot seem to stop his soulful eyes from drifting back up to her. They says the eyes are the windows to the soul, one of his old favorite lines for courtships and songs, but if they are, how can she not see what she does to him? How can she not see how obsessed he's become with her, watching her every move, longing to be able to be there beside her?
She's talking with the others like she doesn't even know, laughing, tossing her hair back, and even dancing with Jubilee and Angelo, of all people. At least the gray man can cut a mean rug. He supposes he could still do that -- unlike Gayle, he does still have the use of his legs --, but what will happen when he tries to pull her close at the end of the song? He glances across the campus as he reminds himself what even just one lost moment can do to him. One moment out of control, one moment caving to his hormones, blew away half a building and could've killed Paige. It could've killed him too, but then he would've just been putting himself at long last out of everybody else's misery.
He has nothing to offer the gel. He can't provide her a future. He can't even provide her arms to hold her or a mouth to kiss or be kissed by. That, at the absolute very least, everybody deserves. Everybody but clearly him. It's not remiss on him that God allowed this to happen. God allowed his mouth to be taken, his mouth that had kissed so many women so far inferior to Paige Guthrie.
They'd all think themselves superior, of course, but they couldn't be more wrong. He'd seen far more hope, bravery, and strength in this American lass than half the chicks back in London, if not more. Every single one he'd had before her had been but a fling -- even Gayle hadn't been the long-lasting love he'd thought it would --, but now that he's met the one woman who actually makes him want to settle down, the one gel who makes him want to think of building a home and a family, there's no way he can. God must be laughing His ass off at him.
She's watching him, Jono realizes suddenly, watching him as though perhaps she can actually see through him, all his bravado and strong words that are so much stronger than he feels. He's always talked a good talk, but when he'd had his mouth, he'd been able to kiss good as well. He hadn't had any trouble getting a woman to his bed, but Paige Guthrie isn't just any woman. She'd melt willingly enough though -- she's tried to throw herself at him multiple times --, but he can't allow it. He can't allow her to waste her life on a bloke like him. He hasn't got a damn thing to give her.
You don't want me. He's told her that before, so many times, but she still doesn't want to believe him. She's still chasing after him, still trying to flirt with him whenever they're alone. He blinks suddenly, surprised, as she actually turns from him, lets Angelo take her by the hand and spin her around. Hmph. Maybe she's finally listening. Maybe she's finally figuring out that a gray, scrawny Spic can offer her far more than he'll ever be able to. He shouldn't be mad at Angelo. Paige is a beautiful woman, and he's not blind or lame or mouthless as Jono is. There's every reason he should chase after her, every reason he should offer her all a real man can.
He's not a man. He's a fragment of a man, and no matter how well he can learn to control his powers, nothing is ever going to change that fact. Nothing is ever going to restore him to the man he was. Nothing is ever going to make him whole again. The fact that, in that split second before he destroyed everything as he's so bloody good at doing, with her sweet lips pressed to where his should have been if only he'd not been such a fool, he'd actually felt whole is something upon which he will not allow himself to linger. It isn't fair. It isn't fair to Paige that he can offer her absolutely nothing, and it likewise isn't fair to himself that he dwell on it as greatly as he does... not that he doesn't already think about Paige Guthrie every sleeping and awakened moment.
"Why must there always be one in every group?" Emma Frost's icy voice punctuated with a haughty sigh breaks Jono out of his reverie. He still his fingers and looks at them in surprise. Had he really been playing the air as he would have notes on his old guitar? His fingers had certainly been positioned for the strings, but he won't think about what he could have played had he had his instrument. Forget his bloody instrument; he doesn't have his mouth! Nothing else matters! He can never offer anything to anyone as a mouthless freak!
Emma shakes her head, and another man's eyes feast on the sight of her blonde hair shimmering along her bared back. "Ack, ye're jest jealous, Em," Sean teases her. "Ye wish ye could entice a young man's heart like Paige has Jono's."
"Of course, Cassidy, I wish to be just like that little hayseed in her hayseed finery," Emma mutters, cutting daggers at her co-headmaster. "I've had enough of this juvenile romp. I'm retiring to my quarters."
"Hey, th' kids had a victory, Em. They could've asked fer a lot more than jest a night off an' a grill an' campfire."
"Oh, yes, and these mosquitoes," Emma says, slapping a bug to its death, "are just the topping. Good night, Sean." She stands and casts a cold look around them. "I believe a pop quiz may be due Monday morning." With that, she stalks away.
The way Sean stares after his co-headmistress is not remiss on Jono, but he knows the old man feels almost as lost to do anything about the emotions clouding his mind as he is. He lets a telepathic sigh be heard around the campfire. Jubilee, Angelo, and Paige are all dancing together again, far enough away that they cannot possibly overhear him, while Everett has wondered off, trying to tempt Penance with an apple.
They have a way about 'em, don't they? he asks his teacher.
"Aye," Sean sighs wistfully, "tha' they do, but at least th' apple o' yuir eyes shares yuir feelin's."
Yeah. Fat lotta luck that'll do me when I can't even freakin' kiss her.
That, Sean thinks, is what Emma had been referring to. He can only imagine the pain his fellow instructor must have been picking up from the kids with her telepathy, what with Paige and Jono wanting each other but both afraid to move on the other and Jubilee wanting Ev while Angie, poor boyo, is obviously aching for her. Jono and Paige are, in their own way, as tragic and heartbreaking as Rogue and Remy of the X-Men. Or his own betraying heart, Moira, and Emma.
He ceased loving Moira long ago, but he's stayed with her out of loyalty. He's vowed forever to the woman, even though he's not put a ring on her finger, but his heart is no longer in their courtship. It hasn't been in a long time now. It's true what they say. Hearts have a mind of their own, and his heart has belonged fully to the woman who's walked away from them again tonight, but he can never move on her, not with his fiancée bloody dying of the Legacy Virus. He'd have to be a far less honorable man than he's always striven to be to be able to walk away from her now.
His student's anguished, mental voice snaps Sean back to the moment. I can't even bloody well kiss her! She can't have a life with me! That wouldn't be fair to her!
"Life isn't fair, me boyo," Sean advises with a heavy sigh. "But some women want different things than others. Can ye give her that? Seems tae me, th' only t'ing she wants is ye." He sips his drink, careful not to let his students know it's spiked. The whiskey burns his throat as it slides down. He'll find the relief he's needed all week with it before the sun rises.
She's a child, Jono barks back, jumping to his feet. Gel doesn't know what's good for her. If she did, she'd stay th' Hell away from people who can't give her a bloody future! He stomps away, slipping his own flask from an inside pocket on his leather jacket.
Sean turns back to watching his three students dancing. Everett comes around, and to the girl's credit, Jubilee actually dodges after what she wants, grabbing his hand and forcing him into their group dance. Sean sighs as he sips his whiskey again. They really are all children, even himself and Em after all these years, trying to do the best they can in a wretched world that will never be fair to any of them, regardless of what the boyo thinks. He finishes his cup, leans back against the tree, and closes his eyes to rest for one more night while his old bones can.
The End
Fandom: X-Men (Generation X)
Author: Apache Firecat
Rating: PG/K+
Pairing: Chamber/Husk, Banshee/White Queen, Banshee/Moira, Skin/Jubilee, Synch/Jubilee, Skin/Husk(/Jubilee)
Summary: Sean recognizes they are all, underneath all the layers of pain and hurt, strength and determination, nothing really more than children... children in love.
Content Notice: None
Disclaimer: All characters within belong to Marvel Comics and Disney, not the author, and are used without permission.
Author's Note: Been too long since I got to play with this team. :)
Word Count: 1669
He watches her glow in the firelight, leaning back in the shadows where he'll be even less noticeable. He used to be beautiful. He used to be a man who could offer her something. He used to actually be a whole man. But now he's nothing, a nothing that's even missing half his face.
He fiddles with his empty hands, sliding a ring up and down one finger. He twists and turns the simple band with sparks of firelight dancing across it. Yet he still cannot seem to stop his soulful eyes from drifting back up to her. They says the eyes are the windows to the soul, one of his old favorite lines for courtships and songs, but if they are, how can she not see what she does to him? How can she not see how obsessed he's become with her, watching her every move, longing to be able to be there beside her?
She's talking with the others like she doesn't even know, laughing, tossing her hair back, and even dancing with Jubilee and Angelo, of all people. At least the gray man can cut a mean rug. He supposes he could still do that -- unlike Gayle, he does still have the use of his legs --, but what will happen when he tries to pull her close at the end of the song? He glances across the campus as he reminds himself what even just one lost moment can do to him. One moment out of control, one moment caving to his hormones, blew away half a building and could've killed Paige. It could've killed him too, but then he would've just been putting himself at long last out of everybody else's misery.
He has nothing to offer the gel. He can't provide her a future. He can't even provide her arms to hold her or a mouth to kiss or be kissed by. That, at the absolute very least, everybody deserves. Everybody but clearly him. It's not remiss on him that God allowed this to happen. God allowed his mouth to be taken, his mouth that had kissed so many women so far inferior to Paige Guthrie.
They'd all think themselves superior, of course, but they couldn't be more wrong. He'd seen far more hope, bravery, and strength in this American lass than half the chicks back in London, if not more. Every single one he'd had before her had been but a fling -- even Gayle hadn't been the long-lasting love he'd thought it would --, but now that he's met the one woman who actually makes him want to settle down, the one gel who makes him want to think of building a home and a family, there's no way he can. God must be laughing His ass off at him.
She's watching him, Jono realizes suddenly, watching him as though perhaps she can actually see through him, all his bravado and strong words that are so much stronger than he feels. He's always talked a good talk, but when he'd had his mouth, he'd been able to kiss good as well. He hadn't had any trouble getting a woman to his bed, but Paige Guthrie isn't just any woman. She'd melt willingly enough though -- she's tried to throw herself at him multiple times --, but he can't allow it. He can't allow her to waste her life on a bloke like him. He hasn't got a damn thing to give her.
You don't want me. He's told her that before, so many times, but she still doesn't want to believe him. She's still chasing after him, still trying to flirt with him whenever they're alone. He blinks suddenly, surprised, as she actually turns from him, lets Angelo take her by the hand and spin her around. Hmph. Maybe she's finally listening. Maybe she's finally figuring out that a gray, scrawny Spic can offer her far more than he'll ever be able to. He shouldn't be mad at Angelo. Paige is a beautiful woman, and he's not blind or lame or mouthless as Jono is. There's every reason he should chase after her, every reason he should offer her all a real man can.
He's not a man. He's a fragment of a man, and no matter how well he can learn to control his powers, nothing is ever going to change that fact. Nothing is ever going to restore him to the man he was. Nothing is ever going to make him whole again. The fact that, in that split second before he destroyed everything as he's so bloody good at doing, with her sweet lips pressed to where his should have been if only he'd not been such a fool, he'd actually felt whole is something upon which he will not allow himself to linger. It isn't fair. It isn't fair to Paige that he can offer her absolutely nothing, and it likewise isn't fair to himself that he dwell on it as greatly as he does... not that he doesn't already think about Paige Guthrie every sleeping and awakened moment.
"Why must there always be one in every group?" Emma Frost's icy voice punctuated with a haughty sigh breaks Jono out of his reverie. He still his fingers and looks at them in surprise. Had he really been playing the air as he would have notes on his old guitar? His fingers had certainly been positioned for the strings, but he won't think about what he could have played had he had his instrument. Forget his bloody instrument; he doesn't have his mouth! Nothing else matters! He can never offer anything to anyone as a mouthless freak!
Emma shakes her head, and another man's eyes feast on the sight of her blonde hair shimmering along her bared back. "Ack, ye're jest jealous, Em," Sean teases her. "Ye wish ye could entice a young man's heart like Paige has Jono's."
"Of course, Cassidy, I wish to be just like that little hayseed in her hayseed finery," Emma mutters, cutting daggers at her co-headmaster. "I've had enough of this juvenile romp. I'm retiring to my quarters."
"Hey, th' kids had a victory, Em. They could've asked fer a lot more than jest a night off an' a grill an' campfire."
"Oh, yes, and these mosquitoes," Emma says, slapping a bug to its death, "are just the topping. Good night, Sean." She stands and casts a cold look around them. "I believe a pop quiz may be due Monday morning." With that, she stalks away.
The way Sean stares after his co-headmistress is not remiss on Jono, but he knows the old man feels almost as lost to do anything about the emotions clouding his mind as he is. He lets a telepathic sigh be heard around the campfire. Jubilee, Angelo, and Paige are all dancing together again, far enough away that they cannot possibly overhear him, while Everett has wondered off, trying to tempt Penance with an apple.
They have a way about 'em, don't they? he asks his teacher.
"Aye," Sean sighs wistfully, "tha' they do, but at least th' apple o' yuir eyes shares yuir feelin's."
Yeah. Fat lotta luck that'll do me when I can't even freakin' kiss her.
That, Sean thinks, is what Emma had been referring to. He can only imagine the pain his fellow instructor must have been picking up from the kids with her telepathy, what with Paige and Jono wanting each other but both afraid to move on the other and Jubilee wanting Ev while Angie, poor boyo, is obviously aching for her. Jono and Paige are, in their own way, as tragic and heartbreaking as Rogue and Remy of the X-Men. Or his own betraying heart, Moira, and Emma.
He ceased loving Moira long ago, but he's stayed with her out of loyalty. He's vowed forever to the woman, even though he's not put a ring on her finger, but his heart is no longer in their courtship. It hasn't been in a long time now. It's true what they say. Hearts have a mind of their own, and his heart has belonged fully to the woman who's walked away from them again tonight, but he can never move on her, not with his fiancée bloody dying of the Legacy Virus. He'd have to be a far less honorable man than he's always striven to be to be able to walk away from her now.
His student's anguished, mental voice snaps Sean back to the moment. I can't even bloody well kiss her! She can't have a life with me! That wouldn't be fair to her!
"Life isn't fair, me boyo," Sean advises with a heavy sigh. "But some women want different things than others. Can ye give her that? Seems tae me, th' only t'ing she wants is ye." He sips his drink, careful not to let his students know it's spiked. The whiskey burns his throat as it slides down. He'll find the relief he's needed all week with it before the sun rises.
She's a child, Jono barks back, jumping to his feet. Gel doesn't know what's good for her. If she did, she'd stay th' Hell away from people who can't give her a bloody future! He stomps away, slipping his own flask from an inside pocket on his leather jacket.
Sean turns back to watching his three students dancing. Everett comes around, and to the girl's credit, Jubilee actually dodges after what she wants, grabbing his hand and forcing him into their group dance. Sean sighs as he sips his whiskey again. They really are all children, even himself and Em after all these years, trying to do the best they can in a wretched world that will never be fair to any of them, regardless of what the boyo thinks. He finishes his cup, leans back against the tree, and closes his eyes to rest for one more night while his old bones can.
The End
