apachefirecat

Title: The Strangest Yet
Fandoms: Ace Ventura, Pet Detective, and Elvira, Mistress of the Dark
Author: Apache Firecat
Characters/Pairing: Ace/Elvira
Rating: R/M
Challenge: Drabble Zone 312: Squirrel
Warnings: Crack Crossover
Spoilers: None
Summary: This is the strangest thing Elvira has had happen yet, but it's also a position Ace knows any man would gladly take in his place.
Disclaimer: All characters within belong to their rightful owners, not the author, and are used without permission.
Author's Note: Hey, it is getting to be that season! };)








She had been in some strange positions over her years, but never anything quite like this. She had lost hotdogs down her cleveage as well as practically every other food she'd ever eaten, and of course men, and some women too, loved the low cut of her ink black dress and her more than ample breasts.

"Are you done down there yet?" she asked the strange, little man who was intent on chasing the squirrel that had chosen her neckline into which to jump and hide. She felt something furry shimmer down her long, pale legs and twisted her body in automatic response.

"Damn it, he's out again!" the self-proclaimed Pet Dick wailed.

Then, suddenly, his teeth were on Elvira's nipple. The squirrel chittered angrily as he raced away. Ace knew he needed to be going after him, but never before had mankind been given the opportunity he was right now! He opened his mouth wider, taking in Elvira's full breast. He could chase a hundred squirrels, but there was only one Elvira. Ace was certain any man in America would give everything they owned to trade places with him.

Elvira moaned, quickly forgetting she had better things to do.




The End