First Update! Yei!!
Mar. 25th, 2009 02:12 pmbut then, I thought about writng a story..
My English is still poor so, yoroshiku onegaishimassu..
PS : Even though I'm a FF maniac, I can't write a FF :p..
so, this is just a normal story.. I guess..
The Blank Book
Chapter 1. The Beginning
Life is so boring. everyday is the same day. I wonder who make the sentence "Yesterday is past, tomorrow is mystery, today is gift.. that's why its called present." For me.. there is no mystery.. I can guess what I'm gonna do tomorrow. Wake up in the morning, going to school, and when I'm go home, I'll just playing computer.. Talking with my family? yeah right. there's nothing to talk about between me and my family. see.. everyday just the same. its boring.
"Lucia!! Seriously! School is gonna start in less then 5 minutes! Why are you gaze off in this kind of place?!"
"Ah, Yuuri.. ohayou!"
"What do you mean ohayou?! come on! we're gonna be late!!"
"I don't want to go. This place is the best place in school."
"....wood?????"
Yep, this school has a backyard which is not used. They not even took care of it. Because of that, all kind of plants just grow wildly in here. But then, it’s very green in here. Seeing this make me feel peaceful and forgot about stupid things that happened. And its also make me thing how boring this life is. I wonder why…
KRIIIIIINGGG!!!!
“AAAAAAAAAA!! We’re late!!!”
“Yep!”
“Why are you so happy???!!”
“Not really… hahahaha… well, we’re late already, why bother to go.”
“You..”
“You don’t have anything to do right? Why don’t you accompany me?”
“Hhhh~ Alright..”
And then, She put her bag and lay down beside me. The warm sunlight going through between the tree’s leaves.When the wind blows, I can smell the grass scent. It really is relaxing.
“Are you… still thinking that life is boring?” said Yuuri broke the silent.
“Yeah. Why?”
“You should think about it more. Its not that boring. Life is not always the same. It’s changed every time, right? We’re lay down on grass and not going to school right now, ne? It’s not the thing that we usually do, ne? It’s different with yesterday, ne?”
“You’re too noisy Yuu-chan.”
“Just answer me.”
“Well, yeah. It’s not the same. If I keep doing the same thing, its making it more boring and I’m gonna die because of bored.”
“It’s not that worse”
“It is that worse!”
Yuuri doesn’t say anything. The silent come again. But it’s different. This time, its an uncomfortable silent. Yuuri suddenly stand up and saying, “I really think you should see wider Lu-chan. There is many interesting thing around you.” After saying that, she left.
I’m staying for a while just seeing the tree’s leaves with the sky as a background. Just when I’m thinking to left, I heard some noise behind me. When I looking back, there is a book. The book has a white color with some graffiti in the cover. There is nothing written in the cover. When I open it, it’s all blank. There is just a white paper in it, and that’s all. I can’t even tell which is the back, which is front, which is up, which is down. Its all just look the same.
“How great! In a boring life, boring day, and I found a boring book! It’s just perfect!”
“Oh really?”
“!” Did I just heard some noise? Or I’m dreaming? I’m not sure. And then, the book suddenly glowing.
Do you think that my life will change because of that book? Than you’re wrong. But one thing for sure, my life will change.
To be Continue
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OK, anyone who read this, please comment~
Its my first time writing this kind of thing..
no subject
Date: 2009-04-13 03:56 pm (UTC)I have to warn you to watch your capitalization at the beginning of sentences and to be conservative with the punctuation. You will never see a published author use more than one ! in a row. And ?! is generally frowned upon too. Don't worry. People get what you're trying to say. Say it with our words. Your goal should be for your reader to not even pay attention to the punctuation.
"Lucia!! Seriously! School is gonna start in less then 5 minutes! Why are you gaze off in this kind of place?!"
Gaze should be gazing. And maybe use 'off into space' if that's what you meant.
Also, you consistently use the wrong for of its/it's. Its is possessive. As in 'the cat lost its toy.' It's is a contraction which stands for 'it is.' It's nearly noon. There's quite a few of these. Fix them.
Yuuri doesn’t say anything. The silent come again.
The silence has come again. I think you should rewrite it that way. The second sentence is incorrect in its current form.
I hope this has helped a bit. I'm not trying to be discouraging. You have an interesting idea, but I'm sure you want help putting it into proper form :)
no subject
Date: 2009-04-13 04:05 pm (UTC)It really is help me a lot <3
I'll try my best to rewrite it, but I think I don't have much time.. but, I'll try hard ^v^
no subject
Date: 2009-10-30 02:40 pm (UTC)yg komen diatas saiah ini rajin bgt, beta-er yah?
gw lgsg ga pede ngomenny :|
no subject
Date: 2009-10-30 02:46 pm (UTC)serem y? XD
ji pnya tmpt komenna kira2 spnjng ntu lowh
n smua na ngebahas FF..
bnr2 maniak smua XP
y ga ush komen la! ssh bnr! XD
no subject
Date: 2009-10-30 03:33 pm (UTC)tapi yg gw cengo bukan panjangnya
isinya
dah kae dikomen pak haris dan pak yadi dicampur bu sulis dan pak doto
pusing sblom baca kakakak
ckckckkc
ahaha
y uda yaa
ga gw komenin nih kakakak
no subject
Date: 2009-10-30 03:36 pm (UTC)iy~
bnr2 seyem bahasa na XD
iy2~ XD