benitle

If I could have your thoughts and prayers for Matthew, please, I would appreciate it. He's been admitted to Psych at our local hospital, on a 72 hour suicide watch. They're getting him back on his meds -- most of which he's been off of for nearly a year -- and hopefully getting a social worker in to see him. Also hopefully getting him into counseling, because i know he needs that.

I am...not great, but dealing. I'm looking forward to being able to talk to him without crying. I did better, this evening. It's a process, I guess. I cleaned the floor in the living room (what I could), and swept the kitchen, and wiped stuff down. Cleaning is good for keeping busy. Tomorrow is homework day.

But yeah. Prayers, positive thoughts, whatever you can spare. Thank you.

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Being tested, I mean. And for that matter, who/what the hell is testing me? And why? I feel like I've run some stupid endurance race, and every time I think I'm looking at the "finish line", someone moves it. Or I'm lifting weights that someone keeps adding to.

Matthew started a (new, obviously) job tonight. He had orientation Friday, and then last night (Saturday) started his shift. That shift is 6:50p-7:00a. He texted me about 4:30 that they were sending him to the ER because he was having trouble breathing and his blood pressure was really high (I was on the phone with him just a minute ago when the ER was retaking it; it was 161/126, which is not good. And then Donnie pipes up with, "That's not so bad, I've had like 202 over 140", and I'm thinking this is not a case of higher is better, oy vey).

ANYWAY. The med people there at the factory couldn't decide if it was an allergic reaction to something, or if he was having a heart attack or stroke, or what, so they put him in an ambulance and shipped him to the hospital. He's had an EKG, an x-ray, blood drawn. When they were doing intake he also told them that he was having suicidal thoughts, so they made him change out of his clothes into clothing that was more compliant and easier to keep him safe in. The ER doc wanted him to see a counselor/therapist there, but Communicare (the ones who work with the hospital) has a policy of doing a urine drug screen before they'll meet with a patient. Matthew has a shy bladder. He asked if they could do a blood test, but no, Communicare's policy is urine drug screen. I find myself wondering how they get around this if the person is too dehydrated (or whatever) to do a urine sample at all. Do they just not treat the individual?

Anyway, we talked for a bit. I told him to try and nap while he waits on the doctor. And I'll keep my fingers crossed there's nothing truly (physically) wrong.

I haven't slept yet; I was trying to stay awake until Matthew got home, but I'm moving past tired now, into the next Zone. I'll keep y'all updated.

X-posted to Dreamwidth and Livejournal. Read/comment where you prefer. :)

This was originally posted to Facebook. I decided I had a better chance of getting a wider variety of responses here.

Facebook, I have a serious question for you, that comes with a little bit of backstory: Last night, while waiting for dinner to do its thing. Donnie, Matthew and I were listening to music on YouTube, each taking a turn to pick a song. And it was good, at first. But, and it's a big one, a lot of what Matthew listens to now very often contains extreme profanity, references to sex acts, drug/alcohol use, regular use of the N word.

I'm not dissing his music, though it kind of feels that way to him, and I did hurt his feelings (I didn't mean to, and I apologized). I had a similar, reverse, thing happen with Doug. And I know that music is intensely personal: even if you like the same music as someone else, chances are it means something different to the two of you.

But so here's my question: After a song in which the N word was used three times within 30 seconds, I stopped the song. Because I just can't. Everything I've heard and taken in through life in general, and particularly in the past couple decades or so, has been YOU DO NOT USE THE N WORD. You don't throw it around in general speech (or you're not supposed to). You're not supposed to accept that word as appropriate for any situation. Don't use it, period.
Except...why is it okay if it's dropped 23048230 times into a "song"? How is that any different from normal, every day speech?

And then Donnie blew my mind by telling me that I'm the first person she's ever heard ask/say that out loud. Surely I can't be the only person who has ever wondered that? Can anyone explain this to me?

And sidebar question(s): for anyone who has adult children, or nearing adulthood children (or family members, etc): what are they listening to? What's in those songs? Do you share musical interests with said young people?

Thanks 🙂

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I've been watching "Emergency!" on Peacock, and decided to poke around on AO3, just to see what's what in fiction for that show. And I came across a very...aggressive...note on someone's story that said, "If you post a review requesting to do art for my stories, I will block you."

Is that a thing that happens frequently? I mean, really? I'm not real active in any fandom right now, so I don't spend a lot of time on AO3 -- or anywhere else -- so I don't know. It just seems really aggressive, if all they're doing is saying they want to do art for a story.

*is confused*

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Safe Hands (2193 words) by dreamlittleyo
Chapters: 1/1
Fandom: Ted Lasso (TV)
Rating: General Audiences
Relationships: Ted Lasso & Sam Obisanya
Additional Tags: Post-Season/Series 02, Past Sam Obisanya/Rebecca Welton, Awkward Conversations, Emotional Support, workplace relationships, Power Dynamics, Protective Ted Lasso, Perplexed Sam Obisanya

Summary: When Ted takes a step back and thinks a little harder on Sam and Rebecca's relationship, he realizes there is something he needs to do.

Read the fic on AO3...

( Or read below the cut... )

Tags:

Matthew

at what point is it enough?

Got a question that's sort of about music

oh, yikes!

Ted Lasso Fic: Safe Hands (Ted Lasso & Sam Obisanya)

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