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Feb. 3rd, 2022 05:23 pmI've been thinking a bit about the strength people find in transgressive, subversive, and outright villainous characters---in identifying themselves with these characters, seeing themselves in these sorts of images... or wishing they could, subconsciously or otherwise.
(In particular, these thoughts are tied to fictives I have met, who feel some kind of shame about their "irredeemable" or "problematic" source character, which... obviously bears with it a few levels of wrongness and strangeness, considering my& feelings about assigning morality to fiction, and also considering that a fictive is not directly their source in the first place, but even with those things aside, I have had some thoughts.)
Deeply tied to the image of the "edgy teenager" is the idea that they are also "troubled kids". This is no coincidence: committing minor transgressions against societal norms is a way which people seek control over their position within the world, and as well, a way in which they express something tied up deep inside them. An anger, a sadness, a bit of both... a discomfort with the situation they've been thrust into, and a desire for freedom which they know they can't have. Young people are by and large trapped by their circumstance, their home life, with minimal power to exercise over it... of course, this is not unique to them, but it is especially prevalent.
Transgressive fictional figures, villains, dark heroes---these things become a symbol of strength for those who feel trapped, who wish to lash out against their circumstance, but feel unable. These characters are by nature powerful, capable, and free; often, if their motives are explored, they have also suffered, which becomes yet another way that those who are captive to their painful situations can relate to them. Desperate with the urge to fight, but knowing they cannot do so... it's only natural that such people gravitate toward these showy, strong-willed villains, who are able to be authentic and forceful and unchained. Free of pain, free of shackles from the society that regards them harshly or the parents and other authority figures who treat them poorly...
Misfits seek other misfits for solidarity and comradery, and in the same breath, seek identity---uniqueness. Those who feel out of place and trapped seek the image of themselves in the outliers, the rejected, the monstrous... not in the lauded, idealized, perfect heroes of stories.
It seems so natural, to me. The world's "morals" are twisted, in many ways, to tend to the interests of those who benefit from the status quo; the circumstances people find themselves in say far more than behavior alone can. I, too, strive not to feel shame for who I am and what identity I hold, and have little but encouragement for those who struggle to accept the darker and more subversive parts of themselves...
(In particular, these thoughts are tied to fictives I have met, who feel some kind of shame about their "irredeemable" or "problematic" source character, which... obviously bears with it a few levels of wrongness and strangeness, considering my& feelings about assigning morality to fiction, and also considering that a fictive is not directly their source in the first place, but even with those things aside, I have had some thoughts.)
Deeply tied to the image of the "edgy teenager" is the idea that they are also "troubled kids". This is no coincidence: committing minor transgressions against societal norms is a way which people seek control over their position within the world, and as well, a way in which they express something tied up deep inside them. An anger, a sadness, a bit of both... a discomfort with the situation they've been thrust into, and a desire for freedom which they know they can't have. Young people are by and large trapped by their circumstance, their home life, with minimal power to exercise over it... of course, this is not unique to them, but it is especially prevalent.
Transgressive fictional figures, villains, dark heroes---these things become a symbol of strength for those who feel trapped, who wish to lash out against their circumstance, but feel unable. These characters are by nature powerful, capable, and free; often, if their motives are explored, they have also suffered, which becomes yet another way that those who are captive to their painful situations can relate to them. Desperate with the urge to fight, but knowing they cannot do so... it's only natural that such people gravitate toward these showy, strong-willed villains, who are able to be authentic and forceful and unchained. Free of pain, free of shackles from the society that regards them harshly or the parents and other authority figures who treat them poorly...
Misfits seek other misfits for solidarity and comradery, and in the same breath, seek identity---uniqueness. Those who feel out of place and trapped seek the image of themselves in the outliers, the rejected, the monstrous... not in the lauded, idealized, perfect heroes of stories.
It seems so natural, to me. The world's "morals" are twisted, in many ways, to tend to the interests of those who benefit from the status quo; the circumstances people find themselves in say far more than behavior alone can. I, too, strive not to feel shame for who I am and what identity I hold, and have little but encouragement for those who struggle to accept the darker and more subversive parts of themselves...
introduction to me (us).
Jan. 25th, 2022 11:46 pmhi there! to preface this post, know that I am quite open with sharing information about myself and similarly talkative---but I am extremely social-media-averse. The nature of infinite scrolling and constant updates on people I may or may not want to hear about is quite a bit more than i can handle on an average day... so I strongly prefer sticking to quieter and more private corners of the internet at large.
With that said, I'm interested in trying to get my thoughts out of my head a bit more often, and this blog may be a part of how I do that, so I've decided to start with a little introduction about myself---and the multiple of myself, too.
so, what is there to say? around the internet I go by cdra. I'm a wanderer of fandom and a bit of a fic writer, a jack of all trades sort. I'm 30, an AFAB trans person, nonbinary, they/them. I like problematic things and erotica and stories about identity, in particular the multiplicity thereof. this last part is not surprising, because as I've indicated, I myself am comprised of multiple identities.
at the moment, I am aware of at least 6 individuals who make up "me", but I suspect the number is closer to 8 or 9. I don't have DID, by the precise definition of the disorder, in that my selves don't have amnesia between them, and I consider that to be something of a blessing. the "I" used in these posts, unless specified, is often plural and refers to me at large.
for purposes of specificity, the primary front of the system is xiph (that's me), and I respond fastest to "cdra" but we also consider that an acceptable collective name.
and I guess that's enough for a quick introduction?
With that said, I'm interested in trying to get my thoughts out of my head a bit more often, and this blog may be a part of how I do that, so I've decided to start with a little introduction about myself---and the multiple of myself, too.
so, what is there to say? around the internet I go by cdra. I'm a wanderer of fandom and a bit of a fic writer, a jack of all trades sort. I'm 30, an AFAB trans person, nonbinary, they/them. I like problematic things and erotica and stories about identity, in particular the multiplicity thereof. this last part is not surprising, because as I've indicated, I myself am comprised of multiple identities.
at the moment, I am aware of at least 6 individuals who make up "me", but I suspect the number is closer to 8 or 9. I don't have DID, by the precise definition of the disorder, in that my selves don't have amnesia between them, and I consider that to be something of a blessing. the "I" used in these posts, unless specified, is often plural and refers to me at large.
for purposes of specificity, the primary front of the system is xiph (that's me), and I respond fastest to "cdra" but we also consider that an acceptable collective name.
and I guess that's enough for a quick introduction?
