consignment | Day 7 | 09:22

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Day 7 | 09:22

FROM: md.arbuckal.adrien
TO: ALL

Have we confirmed the outposts are secure? If not, who is coordinating sentry efforts?

FROM: md.arbuckal.adrien
TO: ALL

Consider this a reminder from Medical to report any contact with native species, flora or fauna to medical personnel for record. Be sure to include any symptoms or adverse reactions and treatment.

FROM: md.arbuckal.adrien
TO: ALL

Follow-up to previous message. If you have not sought or received treatment please stop being a goddamn hero and seek treatment immediately.

FROM: md.arbuckal.adrien
TO: ALL

We do not need you bringing any pathogens back to the entire group because you’re too damn proud to admit you have cooties. ~~cooties are totally a technical medical term~~

FROM: md.arbuckal.adrien
TO: ALL

Whoever took the last roll of toilet paper from the supply crates and didn’t report it. You’re an ass.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

FROM: fair.zack@cdc.org

All outposts have been established and secured.

FROM: md.arbuckal.adrien

Do we have regular sentry shifts established?

FROM: fair.zack@cdc.org

We do.

There's not much to see at the moment.

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Christ, you woke up happier than usual today.

Are we seriously out of toilet paper?

I'm in a perfectly good damn fucking mood. What are you talking about?

It appears, unless someone is hoarding the stuff.

Fucking. Severe PMS. Got it, it must be Tuesday.

If they wanted to hoard something, they should've hoarded the pain meds. You can't get high off of toilet paper.

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FROM: jackson.percy@cdc.org

My group got vomited on by monsters.

This entire planet is populated by monsters. Can you narrow it down just a little bit?

They were flying and trying to kill us. Not familiar with these monsters, so I don't know what they're called.

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Wtf are cooties? Is cooties? That some sort of a cold?

This one also wishes to know what cooties are.

'This one?' Tell me you're not hanar.

If he knew what a hanar was he might troll him.

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Garrus is getting off easy, then.

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Thread jack okay?

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We jacekd your post first, so it's k.

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Totally

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[Oh well hell, if you're going to give him the opening.]

Cooties are a universal pathogen that arise as a complication from exposure to infectious agents of unknown origin.

How the hell did your species even make it as long as they did? Universal and unknown? How does that even work?

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FROM: solus.mordin@cdc.org

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Just to point out: some sectors are quite far out from the encampment, and may not have the time nor resources to return and seek treatment. The nanite guns may help, however.

--

If you really need it, you may take some of the paper from Rover # 030.

[He's not there, and one of their other residents is a cat. Surely they can spare some ...]

That's what these blasted communication devices are for. To report encounters and allow for long distance diagnostics.

...

Wish I'd known that before I resorted to cotton balls.

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This one suffered an allergic reaction due to contact with native plant-life. However, the nanite gun seems to have proven effective as treatment.

We still need reports of such reactions in case some idiot who doesn't think to use the nanite gun calls in with it.

...

Symptoms?

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>Well, I have been eating a great many of the small rabbitlike creatures.

[That one stops him for a moment.

What the hell is he supposed to do with that response??]

Why?

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Cooties. Really.

FROM: md.arbuckal.adrien@cdc.org

Don't ruin this for me.

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FROM: gliese@cdc.org

I need you on standby. Drop everything else.

[A chance to drop a boring medical shift? Hell yeah!]

FROM: md.arbuckal.adrien@cdc.org

Affirmative.

FROM: md.arbuckal.adrien@cdc.org

Reporting as requested.

Where and when?

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