Anthony Edward Stark (
runsonbatteries) wrote in
consignment2014-06-20 11:24 pm
To: All | Day 15
FROM: stark.anthony@cdc.org
TO: ALL
Here's a question for the group. Feel free to answer it--or don't--but have you ever caught a glimpse at yourself in the mirror and thought, "you're starting to look dangerously close to a death row inmate"? Or maybe you're just tired of picking bits of food out of your beard.
FROM: stark.anthony@cdc.org
TO: ALL
Not to get graphic on you about the harrowing realities of facial hair. Just trying to make a point, here.
FROM: stark.anthony@cdc.org
TO: ALL
I need a favor. Specifically, I need someone that knows how to shave with a knife, and I need that person to pass that knowledge along to a man in need.
FROM: stark.anthony@cdc.org
TO: ALL
Either I learn to do this, or I leave society in order to answer my new calling as a nativity statue. And my glassy-eyed look of chastity isn't very polished.
TO: ALL
Here's a question for the group. Feel free to answer it--or don't--but have you ever caught a glimpse at yourself in the mirror and thought, "you're starting to look dangerously close to a death row inmate"? Or maybe you're just tired of picking bits of food out of your beard.
FROM: stark.anthony@cdc.org
TO: ALL
Not to get graphic on you about the harrowing realities of facial hair. Just trying to make a point, here.
FROM: stark.anthony@cdc.org
TO: ALL
I need a favor. Specifically, I need someone that knows how to shave with a knife, and I need that person to pass that knowledge along to a man in need.
FROM: stark.anthony@cdc.org
TO: ALL
Either I learn to do this, or I leave society in order to answer my new calling as a nativity statue. And my glassy-eyed look of chastity isn't very polished.

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I can help you. I can also heal the cuts you're bound to give yourself.
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Well aren't you just full of helpful vibes today.
[Which is Tony's way of saying, "yes plz. Thank you for being a friend."]
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If you end up a statue, are you going to hang out with the one that's already here? It looks kinda lonely.
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You mean it looks morbid and terrifying.
I think I'll pass on that. The whole size difference will make it kind of awkward.
[
He'll feel like he's standing next to Loki.](no subject)
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Seconding that motion.
FROM: benjamin.jonathan@cdc.org
My jaw's suffered enough being terrible at this.
[ srsly, this should not be as difficult an exercise as it seems, but he wasn't about to go neanderthal up in here ]
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What blade are you using? What are you using for a lather?
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The funny thing is I know exactly what it'd look like if you let yourself go. He's walking around camp, as we speak.
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1/2
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What, you don't want to try waxing?
[Someone might be smirking.]
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FROM: talbot.hanna@cdc.org
I'd pay to see that.
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This would definitely be the perfect place to start.
What would you even use for the wax? Tree sap?
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>A razor has never struck me as particularly different from a knife.
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>That sounds exactly like what someone would say before they carve up their face with a hunting knife.
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Now, would you be Joseph, or one of the wise men?
FROM: talbot.hanna@cdc.org
Girl's gotta know.
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Good question.
Admittedly I'm not thrilled about being a step-father, though it'd be nice not to be the one to screw the kid up later down the line.
FROM: stark.anthony@cdc.org
Right now, I'm feeling more like the wise man that brings the gold.
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FROM: big.boss@cdc.org
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Haven't had a clean face since I was twenty-one. And honestly? I'm not thrilled to go back. Kinda throws off the whole feng shui of my face.
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FROM: kenobi.obiwan@cdc.org
Well, we certainly couldn't have that! No need to add to the statue supply already here.
FROM: kenobi.obiwan@cdc.org
I've tried my hand at using a knife once or twice, when time and resources are a bit thin. I fear I don't have a knife in possession at present though, would that be problematic?
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I've got a hunting knife and a set of throwing knives.
FROM: stark.anthony@cdc.org
None of which are preferable for this, but desperate times and all that.
FROM: stark.anthony@cdc.org
Does that work for you?
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i'm so sorry
TO: stark.anthony@cdc.org
I'll do it. If you're a biohazard, it probably needs to be neutralized anyway.
Never be sorry
TO: 117@cdc.org
All blood is treated as a biohazard, and that's unavoidable in this scenario.
Does it matter that I'm only a level 1? Unless I have some West Nile virus that I'm unaware of.
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ACTION ??
Action~
Action~
Action
Action
Action
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You're beginning to look like a wildling with how long it's growing.
[Yes, Arya is texting you from across the rover. She's still learning how this thing works.]
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How's that for the great honor of the Stark house?And then goes back to text.]
Like "Where the Wildlings Are"?
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You've never used a straight razor before? Using a knife isn't truly all that different, except when it comes to how you hold it.
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I used an electric razor. Because this is 2012, and we're supposed* to have modern technological advancements to make things easier.
*Key word being SUPPOSED to.
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Now I've seen everything.
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I'm sorry, are you seeing something on your end of the text conversation that I'm not aware of?
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You don't know how to shave yourself?
[ He is judging the men of the future stg. ]
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Technology has made them soft.
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That icon is so offended omfg
HE IS OFFENDED STARK.
RELAX ATHOS IT'S GOING TO BE OKAY
it's never going to be ok
Go sit in the dark and write poetry about it
he's not a poet hdu
/Simple Plan gently plays in the distance
just because all his icon keywords are dashboard confessional .......
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If I can manage my legs, I fail to see how a beard would be any more of a challenge.
[All these men, then Peggy. How does that make you feel, Tony?]
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You've been doing what exactly?
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from: gibson.wesley@cdc.org
2 - and i don't need that kind of negativity in my life
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If you have to use a knife, use one of the throwing knives from the second drop. Less curved than the hunting blade.
FROM: varr.noh@cdc.org
It requires a little dexterity, but it's more or less similar to a disposable razor.
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Perfectly interchangeable--except one is designed to kill and the other is more of an accidental, with-effort type of deal.
FROM: stark.anthony@cdc.org
Sounds like you can write a book on the subject.
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inbox'd, just to be careful
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