{Final Application Submitted.

P L A Y E R;
NAME: seiko
AGE: 27
PLAYER JOURNAL: seiko
TIMEZONE: GMT - 5 { EST }
CONTACT: inabox
OTHER CHARACTERS PLAYED: -- --

C H A R A C T E R;
NAME: Souji Okita
CANON: Hakuouki
POINT IN CANON: ( Mixed media okayed here ).

Anime Sequence: Episode 18, Game Sequence: Hakuouki: Hekketsuroku (Chapter 8 of Hijikata's Route/Chapter 5 of Okita's Route)

So, I'll be using information from the visual novel, the anime, and part I of the movie to try and flesh out his situation as much as possible without straying much from Hijikata's route. He'll be dying as he did in episode 18 of the anime. This is mostly concerning Chizuru, since she's only a love interest in his route—well, maybe a little more than just his route but thanks for taking that away from him, too, along with Kondou-san, Hijikata-san. But, it's okay, since he lost to Hijikata for Chizuru-chan's love, Kaoru was the next best thing. W O W.

oh my god please don't reject me over this, it makes sense in my head, i swear. See more here.

AGE: 26 (historically he's pinned being born between 1842-1844 but Hakuouki goes with the date of 1842, making him 26.)**
APPEARANCE:

General appearance. ( his eyes are normally green. )
Rasetsu appearance. ( see here )

CANON HISTORY:

i. A Let's Play
ii. A Wiki
iii. This trainwreck pretending to be a wiki
iv. Okita's Reimeiroku route (in list)
v. Laure's Canon Write-up for Souji (used with permission. she's also already in game and can be contacted at elvellyn if verification is needed that she allowed this.)
vi. Historical Okita Souji @ Wikipedia

specific events. these events can vary in game depending on players choice/route following or different from the mixed media being used for his history, so to clarify important events/his knowledge of things, I'm just going to list them here!
● When Kazama Chikage and Souji cross paths in Ikedaya, Chizuru does come to interfere between the two of them.
● Next, Chizuru accompanies Hijikata to Mt. Ten'nou where Chizuru again meets Chikage (and Hijikata meets him for the first time).
● Following the movie version of events, Souji meets Kaoru while out with Chizuru but has a flare-up of his tuberculosis and collapses against a tree in a coughing fit. Kaoru approaches him to give him 'his' (at the time, Kaoru is presenting himself as a woman) handkerchief before departing.
● During the second raid on Shinsengumi HQ (in Chapter 3, I believe around summer 1867...) Chizuru ends up jumping in the way to protect Hijikata when Chikage gains the upper hand on him during their fight and almost kills the Vice-Commander.
● Chizuru goes to retrieve Heisuke at Aburano Koji rather than assist with Itou's assassination.
● Again, following movie version of events here because they don't as heavily involve Chizuru and thus won't conflict with Synodiporia's Hijikata and Chizuru's version of events. After Kondou is shot in an attempted assassination, an ill Souji overhears and also finds a vial of ochimizu that's been left unintended. He steals it and takes it, tracking down and slaughtering the assassins before getting into a fight with Kaoru, as well. The fight ends with Kaoru putting a silver bullet through his shoulder, injuring him and he passes out ( and has no recollection of who came to drag him back to HQ or how/when ).
● Hijikata and Kazama cross blades at Toba-Fushimi after Kazama cuts down Inoue when he tried to protect Chizuru from him. The demon reveals his true form in the fight with Hijikata, but in turn Hijikata drinks the ochimizu in a desperate attempt to prevail in the conflict. Yamazaki is mortally wounded in the conflict protecting Hijikata.
■ Souji is left behind in Kyoto by the rest of the Shinsengumi with the last words Hijikata says to him ( "We'll be waiting for you." )
■ When news of Kondou's capture and execution reaches him, he leaves Kyoto in search of Hijikata in order to confirm ( more like in an attempt to deny to himself what the truth is ) what happened. He finds Hijikata with Chizuru and they get into a fight Souji flips his shit on Hijikata ( who has the most beautiful and profound way of wording the heavy topics just like his poetry ) and punches him when faced with the truth that Kondou is dead and leaves. BUT NOT BEFORE SAYING HE 'LL NEVER FORGIVE HIM. :) :)
■ And, like the awesome relationship they have, Souji goes and gets himself killed so he doesn't have to forgive him. Actually, it's more like despite his feelings, he knows what Kondou wanted and what Kondou wants is what Souji's life is dedicated to. He understands Hijikata's life was more important than anything to the late Shinsengumi commander, so when he overhears a plot to assassinate Hijikata while he's recovering in town, he doesn't hesitate to stand in their way. Despite his failing health, he fights until the end until his rasetsu form uses up the remainder of his life-force and he disintegrates into dust.

T H E F I N E R D E T A I L S ;
CANON PERSONALITY:
❝. . .If you really want to live, trust your luck.❞
GENERAL I.

SO OKAY, my eyes are like bleeding by now here because formatting personality sections is hard. Anyway, you know that whole 'people are like an onion' thing? It fits Okita Souji perfectly.

Yeah, you know, this one:




So, now that we got that defining point of Souji's personality mentioned, we can continue with everything else.

The Okita Souji that he presents to the world is very different from the one that he really is ( or that he feels he really is but more on that later—or skip here ). To the general population, he's cheerful to a fault and hardly ever serious ( although when push comes to shove, he can and has said to be ruthless, even historically ), playful and—from a distance—it could be said he even seems to be a rather happy person. He does have a terribly morbid sense of humor, often threatening the protagonist of the series with talk of killing her, but for the most part he is seen as a tease and a complete ass-buster, particularly when it comes to the vice-commander of Shinsengumi, Hijikata Toshizou. It's very clear that Souji adores Kondou Isami, the commander, as well.

Nothing really out of the ordinary in terms of a general person, and without further digging or observation, one could very well see him that way for the entire time they know him. And, to be fair, that isn't all that surprising when one thinks about the makeup of human nature. It's natural to defend deeper and darker secrets and the social penetration theory ( also this is the actual onion metaphor i was referring to ) supports that there will almost always be far more to a person than is ever shown on the surface, only slowly revealed piece by piece as one gains trust.

For Souji, getting him to trust anyone is almost as difficult as getting him to give someone the opportunity to gain his trust in the first place. He's very closed off and anti-social beyond the others he knows in the Shinsengumi ( and even then, he's not super impressive there, either ). He has an obviously difficult time making friends which can be seen just by his interactions with the two protagonists of the Hakuouki series, Yukimura Chizuru and Ibuki Ryunosuke. The thing is that he doesn't seem to care that he lacks the ability to reach out to others and form bonds with them.

Which, makes sense when past circumstances are brought to life.

Born into a samurai family, Souji was raised by his older sister after the passing of their parents, but she struggled to support them until she finally married. However, once married, it became obvious she couldn't take care of him any longer and left him in the care of the Kondou Shuusai as a private pupil at his Shieikan. There, he was quiet and kept to himself, doing his tasks without complaint, although that didn't mean he didn't feel anything in response to what he considered abandonment by his sister. He was also bullied by other pupils at the Shieikan due to his smaller size and his attitude in refusing to let them have the satisfaction of seeing him cry.

Mitsu's letting go of him to the Shieikan is what could be considered the final straw to his view of the world and its defining emotions—about love, about loyalty, and about companionship. From his eyes, he saw her act as the final proof that people would always abandon him, would always leave him alone and there was no such thing as the 'love' so many talked about. With the treatment he received at the Shieikan, especially by the other pupils, the world became painted as a cruel place where everyone was out for themselves, a place to get ahead by bullying and hurting those weaker than themselves, and that anything kind done was only done for personal gain. He wasn't accepting of this view, either, and seeing the world in such a negative way made him spiteful and mistrusting of everyone. Even Kondou Isami, who would eventually become his everything, was subject to Souji's decathexis along with his poor opinions of human nature. So, the need to make friends or other social acquaintances is a useless skill from his point of view.

It's true that Kondou eventually changed his mind, but the key point is that Kondou changed Souji's mind about one person and one person only: Kondou himself. Souji has always been and continues to demonstrate with his treatment towards others that he is fine with this single exception and has no desire to seek more like that in his life.

"But there is someone who wouldn't lie. There is someone I can trust. It's Kondou-san who showed me these.

So I want to repay him. I don't know if it'll make him sad, but it's the only thing I can do. Even if I have to become a sword that can only kill, since it's what Shinsengumi needs now, I will."

—Reimeiroku, Chapter 6 of Okita's route.



Despite that, it's not to say he can't be friendly when he wants to be and although he generally will ( and does ) come off as an insensitive jerk, for a lack of better way to sum it up, he is a generally good person. Confused and warped in the head super crazy, but a good person. He wants to do the right thing—but he also believes himself to be an awful person. In fact, he believes this so much, the entire outward appearance he projects to the world ( besides the ruder aspects ) isn't so much to mislead others as much as it is to mislead Kondou and have him think he is exactly as Kondou wants to see him as.

He does have his friends, however, and while— I'M NOT GOING THERE BECAUSE HIJIKATA-SAN WON'T GET HIM A POCHI!!!! —they're very few, he's fiercely loyal to them towards the end.

If nothing else, the one thing Souji seeks not to be is a hypocrite. He may not let many in, but those he does are never subject to what he, as a child, experienced. He will not betray them and he will never say he feels something for them when he doesn't. Saitou Hajime is the one he's closest to and is the only individual that has a better idea of what lies beyond Souji's demeanor ( although Shinpachi and Heisuke do reveal in various places that the Shinsengumi captains as a whole know more about one another than they let on even to people such as Hijikata and San'nan ) and their relationship is a unique one. But, let's leave it with Saitou and Okita are best friends and most comfortable with and understand each other and both give each other the treatment they both crave so badly: to be treated normally when the rest of society views them as anything but.

It also is worth noting that Souji's general approach to other people is dictated solely by Kondou's opinion of them, willing to extend his tolerance for their presence so long as it makes the other happy.

Still, in spite of all of that, both Chizuru and Ibuki show that it is possible to get through to him—the one thing that works well with him is persistence. Perhaps it's because he trusts little else, but relentless and pure effort especially in the face of constant rejection is not something humans can fake for long. And he will go out of his way to take care of those people, even if he gives little hint of how he feels about them.

❝Hate me all you like.
I will continue killing.
What awaits me will only be hell.❞
GENERAL II.

The problem is, every person, even the most dedicated and purest of individuals out there, has their flaws. Nobody's perfect and Souji himself is so far from perfect. On the plus side, he's aware of this. On the not-so-plus side, he's aware of this.

His entire view of the world is exactly like a child's, even if with a more morbid tint. There are psychological studies on theories as to what causes an adult to never pass into adulthood in all aspects, but regardless as to why, the fact remains that he lacks the proper mature perspective necessary as an adult to live as a normal individual does.

Souji sees only in black and white, never in grey. It's not just a result of stunted emotional growth, either. It's a choice and he has no reason to want to change it ( although it is seen in his route that he is capable of otherwise, if someone were to work hard enough to showing him ). As he is, he doesn't seem to comprehend things that should be basic ( the value of a life—including the value of his own, recognizing love and care from others, having his own individual thoughts and feelings to live his own life, manners, etc. ) to a human being. The scariest part of that is that what he DOES seem to understand is that he should act or feel differently judging by the way the world around him reacts but he just doesn't care enough ( or at all ) to want to understand why or otherwise change. What he's doing has given him the only thing he wants—Kondou accepting him and not hating him—so anyone telling him he needs to change his way of life is easily and immediately dismissed.

Of course, this simplistic nature extends to become troublesome beyond simple responses to situations in general society or in relation to his respect for life. It creates a very different type of hurdle and one that Souji finds himself constantly almost impossible to pass in terms of his closest people beyond Kondou ( because, yes, they do exist and one in particular exists that he suffers greatly with as a result of this very thing ).

And—to further support the immaturity problem—when Souji doesn't get his way, he can be the biggest little shit. He can take matters into more dangerous territory ( especially if they are insulting or otherwise suggesting Kondou in any negative light ), but he's been shown to whine and throw a fit just like a toddler might, as well ( particularly with Hijikata ). Although he does calm down over the years, it's mostly due to Hijikata's change of action ( that is, him respecting a request by San'nan to let the other look over Souji rather than Hiiikata interfering anymore ) than any level-up in his maturity on Souji's part. And no one quite affects him like Hijikata does, meaning there's a lot less for him to fight with and face these flaws he has in his closed little world.

❝Both you and I don't have anything.
So unlike those who are in abundance, I am attached to the only treasure I have in hand.
The last thing I want is for him to dislike me.
I would rather die than to see him sad.❞

GENERAL III.

Souji has a very clear outlook on his life and what he wants to do with it. Unfortunately, with this clear outlook, he isn't really struggling to find his place in the world and that's another thing that makes it so difficult to associate with him. He's already decided what he's worth and all that he can be versus what everyone else wants him to be. Even as someone who wants nothing more than to make Kondou happy, he merely accepts that no matter how hard he tries, he will never be able to be what Kondou wants. He doesn't understand ideals, he can't be a good person, none of these things matter to him and he has found it difficult to find a reason to fight beyond simply doing it for Kondou. He admits this, but it seems his fears halt him from confronting these things ( he sounds like he's confronted them and accepted them, but the reality is he's turning his back on them ) and working to be whatever it is that he currently isn't.

What others think of him doesn't concern him nor does what he accomplishes for himself. With this, his fears are still just as they were as a child. He fears being alone. He fears being left behind. He fears being hated by the person he loves. So, he hides his real self away from everyone, but mostly away from Kondou for the sake of not jeopardizing his relationship with the older man. Instead of trying to be what he is convinced he can't be, he pretends to be it while being exactly what he trusts and knows himself to be. And, that is being the sword of the Shinsengumi; a weapon, a tool, and nothing more than a means to an end.

❝Had I not met Kondou-san, I would live my life cursing everything in this world.
Men are selfish creatures that bully the weak for no reason.
They're hopeless. ❞
KONDOU ISAMI.

Most people become what they are due to a variety of factors surrounding their upbringing, as well as those that are important to them influencing and molding them into their own individual identity.

Souji is no exception, but at the same time he is a little unique—just as his anti-social and underlying bitter view on the world and of mankind is a result of his sister ( to him ) 'leaving him behind' is not a conscious way he chooses to view things, so, too, is the way he sees Kondou and develops his life to live around this man a very conscious one, in contrast. The thing he fears most is to be left alone; but more importantly, the thing he fears most is to be left alone by the person he treasures most in the world, Kondou Isami. It's not as if Kondou had much of an advantage in influencing Souji, either; from the first time they met despite Kondou's kindness, Souji only saw the treatment given to him by the other as pity and otherwise condescending in nature. Because of this, the fact Kondou is actually able to change his mind based on one man's actions alone isn't something to take lightly as merely an important relationship. It starts as important as as hero-worship, but then it's far more. It's more than admiration. It's more than love.

It's an obsession, but it's an obsession that doesn't only dictate his actions, but dictates his entire way of life from just below the very foundation all the way to the top.

Kondou was the first to prove to Souji that for all his dark and negative views of the world, there was at least one person out there that proved him to be wrong. In that way, Kondou did him a great service; saved a boy from wandering through their life with the darkness in their heart of a hopeless and worthless world around them. Unfortunately, unlike most people who would use this eye-opening experience to seek other good people in the world and modify his way of thinking as a whole, he stops abruptly ( and he stops by choice ). It could be because he fears others ruining that which Kondou has granted him towards the world or something else entirely, but the end result is that Souji sees the world as something worthwhile only in the context of Kondou and without room for anyone else. It begins with him.

It also ends with him.

Quite possibly every aspect of him is a result of Kondou. From his smile, to his masking of a darker side underneath his display, to his dedication and skill, to his choices in dealing with his eventual illness, and how he interacts with the world everywhere ( and with everyone ) in between. As said earlier, Souji's general approach to everything is based on the other, including of people. If Kondou likes like them, he'll accept their existence, maybe even tolerate it if they're on friendly enough terms. If they're important to Kondou. . . well, so long as it's what make Kondou happy, theoretically he'd be willing to deal with them in his life, too, without complaint.

Funny how there's always an exception to the rule, though, isn't it? And, of course, the exception to the rule of Kondou Isami's love and happiness equaling passive and civil treatment from Okita Souji is Hijikata Toshizou.

❝I don't know who is more fortunate.
Me, who has already met someone so important?
Or you, who has yet to meet one?❞
HIJIKATA TOSHIZOU.

BASICALLY THIS:

But, uh.

Souji's got a lot of complicated issues to be sure, but the most complicated is definitely his relationship with Hijikata Toshizou. Hijikata is the only one that Souji goes out of his way to harass and otherwise tease and be the older man's personal pain in the ass. The more upset and frazzled he can get Hijikata, the better. If one didn't know his life purpose was to be a weapon for the Shinsengumi, making Hijikata shit bricks would be a pretty damn good guess, too. From stealing his haiku book and memorizing all of his poems (all of them) to constantly doing things to get under his skin or put him in uncomfortable situations ( such as when he not so subtly suggested Hijikata be the one to babysit Chizuru and she become his page after it's decided that she'll be staying with them ), it's all specially devoted and reserved for Hijikata and Hijikata-alone.

Some of his antics are more endearing and affectionate than others, but all obnoxious, nevertheless. That said, he acknowledges Hijikata as a very capable person (as a swordsman, yes, but also a person) and doesn't undermine him in terms of authority ( well, other than harass him to the point Hijikata probably would have wanted a restraining order if they existed then despite rankings but ranking means little between these two, anyway ).

Their relationship is more than simply difficult, though; broken from the start and with neither of them knowing how to mend it—every chance made only seems to break it down further. Even worse is that they both play very vital parts in ruining the relationship but are too frustrated too focus for long on a solution via things they can actually control. For their challenges in Synodiporia, with Kondou gone, they're both faced with a very distinct reality and that is that they only have each other.

Souji's biggest disruptor to this relationship—or, even the defining mechanism of why he acts as he does but with no resolution seen on the more 'complicated' issues they have—is his jealously. Before Hijikata, Kondou never had a relationship that made Souji feel that he had to compete for the man's attention. Hijikata changes that.

It's arguably also not just for Kondou's attention, but for Hijikata's too, even though he has never claimed to want anything of Hijikata's ( although one thing he does want is for Hijikata to just treat him like a normal person for once rather than being so goddamn overprotective ). Hijikata is like the perfect and unreachable older brother that needs to be surpassed to get any recognition and attention. And like the jealous little brother, Souji feeds on that need to surpass him but is constantly met with failure. Years later, he's never quite learned how to accomplish this, either, and he's also never come to outgrow the competitive nature. So where he can't beat him, he instead settles for making his life as miserable as possible.

i can write anymore help me

Souji isn't all that blind, though; just selectively so. He sees that Hijikata is everything—everything to Kondou and can do no wrong.

He also sees that Hijikata is absolutely everything he himself is not. And because of seeing someone he is so vastly unlike being the center of Kondou's world, it probably only fuels his resignation to the idea he can never change and has to deceive the world as to what he really is. He only believes himself to be capable of walking a very straight and narrow path. Once Kondou's gone, he realizes there is nothing left for him ( and if you play his route, you can go through that development explanation but I'm not taking from from his route soooo... ). He's not capable of being able to make Kondou's dream come true; only Kondou could do that while Souji was his weapon to pierce through every and any obstacle in his way. With the Shinsengumi commander no longer around, Souji realizes that Hijikata is the only one capable of making that dream still a reality and leaves it to him.

There's a deeper side to all of this, too, to further add to the mixed-signals he constantly gives to others and to Hijikata himself in terms of how he feels about the other. It's convoluted and subject to how people interpret it and how deeply they analyze him as a character, but since his relationship with Hijikata is my focal point, I better at least say something about it. Hijikata is important to him and he would never let anything happen to him. And, even though he doesn't see that Hijikata feels the same—that the two of them are more alike than different which makes them further unable to understand one another—and even though he has negativity overpowering it, he does love him. And Souji is aware that you don't have to like someone to love them ( although, a conversation with Saitou has it questionable if he even dislikes the vice-commander or not ). He's part of the family that Souji never had before Kondou and especially now in Synodiporia, he's the only one left and Souji will die time and time again before he lets anyone or anything take Hijikata away from him. Pry him from his cold dead hands, bitches, ok.

❝I don't know if you'll survive.
But either way, we won't meet again.
So this is goodbye.❞
MISC & WRAP-UP.

. . .

BTW Souji's fucking batshit insane. Oh yeah, he's easily provoked, as seen from Serizawa's A+ goading in one game and Kaoru's stunts in the other.

POINT OF DEPARTURE:
ABILITIES:

Swordsmanship. Quoted from here:

Ryu: Tennen Rishin Ryu
Rank: Menkyo Kaiden

He had a natural ability when it came to swordsmanship and it was said he could use a katana, bokken, or a shinai equally well. There is a story that when he was around the age of 12, he defeated the fencing instructor of the Shirakawa clan. By the time the group went to Kyoto, Okita had reached full mastership of Tennen Rishin Ryu.

His famous personally developed technique was the sandanzuki or “three-part thrust”, which is heavily speculated to be derived from Hijikata's technique, the Hirazuki. This move involved a strike to the neck, then the left shoulder followed by the right shoulder. It is said that he could deliver these thrusts in very quick succession.

Another technique he favored was the “seigan” stance. In Tennen Rishin Ryu it started out with him holding the grip in front of his belly and the tip pointed at the opponent’s throat. He would then pull back his left shoulder slightly and move his left foot out so that he took a slanted stance. The apparent aim of this stance was to draw out an opponent by making him think he saw an opening, then delivering a quick thrust.

Souji's preferred stance for battle is the same as Hijikata's and actually mirrors Hijikata's. Cute right.

Quoted from here:

Hirazuki (平突き) Tennen Rishin-ryu's unique form of middle to lower stance, specialized for doing thrusts. It’s a technique Hijikata came up with, and taught to every soldier in Shinsengumi. Shinsengumi often need to fight in narrow places like indoors or in alleys, hence doing thrusts is more useful than swinging the sword and end up stuck on the wall.


However, he is also seen to use wakigamae.

Quoted from here:

Wakigamae (脇構え) is taking a step back and pointing the sword to the back, preventing the opponent from estimating the length of the sword. But it’s also risky. ‘Cause with the sword behind the body, it’s harder to defend. So, better strike first.


Basically, he's a pretty damn good swordsman and is capable of kicking your ass six ways to Sunday.

He is also familiar with jujutsu (aka, a type of CQC).


Supernatural Abilities ( rasetsu ).
Souji's taken an exilir known as the ochimizu in his world. The ochimizu was more or less intended to create super soldiers for war. Soldiers that could self-heal and have superior strength, speed, and stamina. However, like most experiments, the ochimizu isn't without its 'side-effects'; the individual starts to crave for the consumption of blood and the longer they resist, the more likely they are to fall into insanity.

Like other rasetsu, Souji does have enhanced vitals ( superior strength, stamina, dexterity, agility ) to that of a regular human but also has the ability to automatically heal from injuries. He does suffer from the bloodlust, however, and the longer he staves off feeding on blood, the more likely he is to snap. He pushes himself to the greatest possible limit in terms of drinking blood, only doing so when absolutely necessary, but you won't see him flinching in disgust if he gets some during a fight.

Along with drinking blood (they don't need it for food, although it does seem to assist in keeping them alive longer as long as they don't lose control there), other weaknesses are also very vampire-like. For one, sunlight drains them quickly, making them weaker in daylight and requiring extra exertion to complete even a 'normal' routine, especially with the accompanied enhanced desire to sleep and be nocturnal, instead. Silver is also able to nullify their regenerative abilities, making wounds created with such as dangerous as any weapon would be to a human and requiring similar recovery time.

The only way to kill them ( if not with a silver weapon and having them bleed out ) is to stab them through the heart or behead them.

While they do have supernatural abilities like vampires ( and like the demons from their world ), the ochimizu does not grant them these powers. Instead, it feeds on the individual's lifeforce, concentrating it together to allow things such as rapid recovery and to be able to execute the superhuman qualities they demonstrate. As a result, using their rasetsu form shortens their lifespan, as it's only taking the individual's overall potential and concentrating it together to do things superior for a shorter period of time rather than live out the length of time they were originally intended to have. Just like the lifespan of people varies from person to person, the potential available and consumed also varies.

Considering the ochimizu can't cure a disease like Souji's tuberculosis, his usage of his rasetsu abilities is probably more damaging than it is to the others. Since tuberculosis attacks the lungs, and from the way it manifest, I'm assuming this is because his body is constantly combating the degeneration caused by the disease and thus eating away at his lifeforce much more frequently.

When in his rasetsu form, his eyes turn red and his hair white. It can be brought on consciously or due to withdrawal from blood taking over and threatening his ability to control himself from seeking out blood indiscriminately.


ETC. Has every single poem in Hijikata's haiku book memorized.

INVENTORY:

katana (Kikuichi Norimune) & wakizashi.
the clothes he was wearing
BUT . . .
if he's allowed to obtain items from previous worlds, as a veteran traveler I'd love love if he could have retained a smartphone from Belljar Island. If not it's okay, but he's shown in a spin-off AU that he loves taking pictures with his cellphone and anything to help him harass Hijikata more. Thanks o7

ANYTHING ELSE WE SHOULD KNOW? HE'S ATTACHED TO HIJIKATA TOSHIZOU'S BUTT and is a veteran traveler along with him. He miggghhtt have been on one or two jaunts just before Hijikata's arrival, but he doesn't remember any of it, anyway, and he's not particularly helpful when he doesn't want to be so nothing worth remembering there. and by that, i mean i'm sorry those jaunts were probably nightmares for some of the other travelers because a certain brat didn't like being subject to this bullshit.

He's also going to introduce himself last name first, as per what he is accustomed to from home.

S A M P L E S;

FIRST PERSON:

Not Test-Drive but Syno pre-game Canon.
Test Drive.
Test Drive PT II.

THIRD PERSON:

It felt like having lockjaw, the way Souji couldn't unclench or otherwise relax as he stared forward into the ever-expanding oblivion before him. The tickle of blood dripping slowly down his face was barely noticeable to him until it breached past the territory of skin and stung into his eyes, blurring his sight.

—At least, it would have if there had been anything to see other than blackness. But, even with nothing to see, it caused him to blink reflexively, for the first time realizing there was something burning hot in both of his eyes and with quantity enough for it spill over and stain his cheeks with a heat that left his skin feeling cold in its wake. Trying to swallow, he instead choked back a frustrated sob, fingers clenching tighter, one hand gripping the tsuka of his katana that shouldn't have been there with him. Desperate for something to focus on other than the nothingness surrounding him, he turned his attention to the unexpected companion ( his only companion and the only one he will ever be able to relate to ). He stared down, barely able to see it, barely able to make out the weapon that was still literally attached to him by tied bandages. And as he stood there, having to half-recreate what he could still somehow feel in his hand rather than visually confirm, he wondered if he had managed to succeed in what he decided to set out to do. So many times he had failed Kondou; did he fail him once again, this time finalizing his chances to make amends and do right for once? Did he really get rid of all of them, or did one slip by in his breakdown process to death, getting to Hijikata and succeeding to make Souji the failure.

Damnit—

Closing his eyes, he turned his head as he sucked in a deep breath, harshly lashing the blade in chiburi to scatter the blood and mud covering the steel, as if he had reason any longer to concern himself with the state of his sword. This was it, there was nothing left. He'd gone in knowing it'd be the last the last thing he'd ever do, but never had he imagined that the last thing would be followed by the awareness of drowning alone into a sea nothingness.

"It feels exactly like how it began," he muttered to himself with cruel amusement, rubbing his sleeve harshly at his eyes. It felt just like it had so long ago, the feeling of loneliness and worthlessness and abandonment he felt at his sister leaving him at the dojo. It felt like that never-ending hell called life before he came to realize the kind of person Kondou was—the kind of person that only deserved the most deserving of treatment from others. It only made sense, though, didn't it? After he'd left Hijikata and Chizuru ( I'll never forgive you." ), the bitter feeling in his heart had been so similar to how he had felt when Hijikata came into their world; when Souji realized that Kondou was taken with the other man and he would ever have to fight the attention of the person he loved more than anything. It hurt, it hurt to be slapped in the face with the reality that Kondou was dead because he wanted Hijikata to continue to live.

...It only made sense that just the very end would have to feel just like the very start.

Had he really thought for one second there might be anything after, that perhaps he'd be allowed to see Kondou again now? Was it just that there was nothing or was it that this was his punishment for failing far too many times?

( he'd never wanted hijikata's attention, either, he'd never wanted anything at all from him, but he can't deny—what was the point of denying it when there was no one to deny it to but yourself—that something else grips his heart, too; the idea that there is nothing here for him—but there was nothing back home for him, either, because just like kondou had hijikata, hijikata had her.

...but he can't be mad at her for that. )

Finally relaxing his hold on the hilt as he found himself calming down from his fit, he shook his head slowly before going to make a deliberate step forward, opening his eyes to face the darkness stretched out to greet him.

"...It's a good thing I know exactly how to deal with this sort of feeling, isn't it?"

He brought the sword up to rest gently against his shoulder before taking another step, only to pause when he thought he heard something off to one side. It was enough to keep him paused, a insistent buzzing of incomprehensible words like a group of people murmuring and talking too closely together to discern their individual meanings.

...And for some reason, it felt closer to him than anything else before him or behind him. A few moments more passed before he finally lowered his sword, reaching with his free hand to start slowly tugging at the bandages.

"I guess maybe that's where I should go. So, take care of him, Chizuru-chan. I'll have to do something unpleasant if you fail." Sheathing his sword, Souji moved forward with the sounds getting louder, dropping the now tattered and further broken bandage, letting it drift behind him and fall into everlasting darkness. And he continued on until the sound became almost unbearable—

—and his eyes snapped out as he started, lurching up and forward suddenly at the feeling of his chest tightening, only to hear the buzzing stop and a hand be placed on his shoulder from one side of him.

Eyes wild with confusion and delirium and one hand clutching his chest, he turned to look at the one responsible.

Something tells him this isn't what being dead is supposed to be like.

{The unabridged version.