Ok, this is a problem. I can't say what I want.

How odd is that? Well, it's interesting. I'm not saying "I don't feel I can't say what I want" because that implies that maybe my feelings are up for debate, or are wrong, or whatever.

It's a simple thing to say, but it has a serious problem:

I don't know how to say what I am thinking in a declarative way.

Instead I say things like "Maybe I should" or "maybe I'm thinking" or "perhaps I should" or whatever. Never "this is what I want", instead it's "hey this is interesting, maybe it's what I want, or maybe it's interesting".

This makes no sense at all. I try to explain it and it doesn't work. No, not "I try to explain it" because that means that it's open to debate as to if I am explaining it. Maybe I'm not, right? No, I am explaining it, people are not understanding it, it does not work.

Note the difference between those two statements. Where is the disconnect going on in my mind?

Something's bugging me, and I do not know what it is. Or is that "Maybe something is bugging me and perhaps I am not sure about it's source". Not the same thing. Why do I say the latter and not the former?

C