devilshine | please call me tonight!

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please call me tonight!

📞... CALL ME ...
an open IC contact post

OPEN TO: ♥ TEXT ♥ VOICE ♥ VIDEO

specify a character in your comment's header. please link large images and mark anything nsfw!

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[ file: areyoualonetonight.png ]

[... BAYONETTA NO how is he supposed to reply to this. Maybe he could quietly ignore it if it were from anyone else, but he knows she's all too likely to be teasing him and he can't quite stop himself from replying.]

Yes. Thank you for asking.

[obviously he just looked at the file name not the picture he's trying really hard okay]

Are you sure you have the right number? This is Warsman.

You're on the top of my list, darling. ♥

Don't I look pretty?

[ coaxing him to check the picture? definitely. it's no harm done, riiight? ]

[nooo that's so unfair he's not even a good liar either now he has to try and wriggle around the question]

You know you always look nice. You don't really need my opinion...

[It's probably a picture of a cat or something.]

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[Congratulations on joining the modern world, Robin Mask. Guess who was coaxed into getting a mobile phone? He must still be getting used to it, though, because what follows is something that he quite clearly would have preferred to fax or write down as opposed to laboriously typing out on a keypad too small for his large hands.]

You asked for my borscht recIpe lsat time, didn't yuo? do excuse errors i am still adjsting to tihs.

2-3 lrg beetroots
3 lrg chopd potatoesss
1 finly choppd onioN
2 Carrots
haLF A CABBAge
1 can kidney benas

[Thanks to the character limit, it's all coming through in disjointed, bizarrely spelt chunks but he's trying, he really is.

... Warsman should probably intervene.]

Edited 2014-07-05 20:27 (UTC)

[......... oh, Robin. Warsman sits and stares at the text for a moment, stifling a laugh (yes, he's alone, but it still feels rude), then puts together a reply.]

Thank you. You know you could have just posted it.

[then, because he can't quite resist:] Could I use four smaller potatoesss instead?

[Oh. He's midway through the other half of the ingredient list and battling the auto-correct (dill not bill) when he gets Warsman's reply- and it leaves him feeling a little foolish.]

Yes, butI wantde to try out thsi new phone and it was [connvuienm bonvie oh, never mind] useful. Four POTATOES will also work. I wasn't done. shall I pOst the rest?

[Is it possible for text to sound sheepish?]

[It's quite sweet, really- not to mention, he doesn't often get the chance to play the expert to Robin of all people.]

I'm sorry. I couldn't resist teasing you a little bit.

Please. Go ahead and send me the rest- I'll try and make it exactly as you send it and then send you a picture. [exactly as he sends it]

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Hey, did you know? During the 1960s, superhuman wrestler Mikhailman brutally murdered both his opponent and the referee before committing suicide out of shame in front of his wife and infant son.

[THIS. is not what Warsman expected when he answered his phone. There's a short, stunned silence.]

Who is this? [He sounds a little breathless, more bewildered than hurt or angry. For now.]

Did you know? Mikhailman was an abomination against nature.

And so are you.

[That sting. He sucks in an audible breath.]

I don't know who you are, but you have no right to talk about my father that way! He was a brave, honourable man! [The solution, he knows, is to hang up, but he can't quite stop himself from arguing.]

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[ When Warsman answers, Toki speaks stiltedly and woodenly, as if he's reading off of a script. Which he totally is. ]

Hellos. I... ams calling to... to wish birthdays congratulation... for our most metals fan. We greatlys appri-- appreciates your continued supports.

[ This would probably be going a lot easier if he was more literate. ]

Edited 2014-07-06 09:31 (UTC)

[Well. Warsman is fairly sure it isn't his birthday, and he's even surer he doesn't know the voice on the other end of the line- but they're obviously struggling with the language and he has too much empathy to simply make an excuse and hang up.]

Thank you very much, but- ah-- I'm sorry. I'm fairly sure I don't know who you are. [He sounds so apologetic...]

But it say heres that you are ours most metals fan! Because you are mades of metals.

That pretty metals.

Oh. I see. I... suppose that isn't essentially untrue. [He doesn't have the heart to say he doesn't recognise his voice, because that would mean he isn't a fan and he might sound like he doesn't like him :(] Is that a good thing? Being, ah, "metals"?

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is tihs the rhtg no???

keypadd 2 smal

Mr. Joestar? Is something wrong?

is thshss advil

able

abdul

Yes, it's me. New phone?

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king of the buttdial

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1. I agree with that homeless man though, you do need a haircut.

2. I slept with a married man last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.

3. Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.

if karma was real we'd both be in a lot more trouble given some of the things we did last night

Technically speaking karma only takes effect in the next life, so we both have a while to go. But I suppose it was technically illegal.

Edited 2016-02-03 21:14 (UTC)

isn't that part of what made it so fun?

until you gave me a black eye that is

was that karma too

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