drybots

I am back

That I am not too deep that I can still get help and be better. Sometimes I just need to get those unwanted feelings and thoughts out. Because it's better out than in. I don't want to bottle my emotions up then explode. I know that days will be better and I will have my ups and downs . The best part of this is realizing that things will get better and that I can do things to help me emotionally and mentally get better . I am grateful that I have family and all A's. I am a great student and I have great family . Und I am just overall happy that I have good things in my life and I kno I have mental problems but at least I am aware

That you can create your own reality and go into the void state . I wish I could be happy and love being here and I wish all my school problems went away. People can be so damn cruel but then when you kill your self or walk around angry they wonder why. People disgust me and I hate them more than anything in this world besides school. School drains me , I wake up everyday , no friends, no activities , no goals , I bathe and dress myself and go to school . I come home to sleep all afternoon then to sleep more and manifest which gets me no fucking where. I don't want to be a sad person or anything but I can't help that sometimes I just want to sleep my whole life away. I know I can't change certain things and I pray about these things and beg god to help me and I feel like he doesn't hear me at all. I feel like no one truly understands me , not even me . If I went on a killing spree nothing would happen. I mean I would go to prison and die someway but that's it.

I don't know what to believe in anymore , god doesn't help me or hear me. The people don't care about me so I should not care for them. I just hate this world and hope that everyone find happiness somewhere else then earth because this world fucking sucks . I hate to be different from everyone else and no one can help me .I don't deserve to live anymore . I don't matter anyways and the world will just make more stupid fucking people like me anyways but before I go I want everyone to suffer I MEAN EVERYONE who made my life a living hell

maybe i do need a thereapyt now that i'm looking back on my writings

angry , I don't want to be alone they can't leave me

I know that I will never find love and that no one will ever love me or care for me besides my mother and father BUT WHYYYYY CAN"T I JUST ACCPET THAT WHY CAN"T PEOPLE JUST WANT ME
Why am I always alone and be myself I truly have no one and might not live till 20 ``because my brain is fried and stupid and i need someone to tell me that i will be okay and that they love being around me why is it soo hard everyone else gets love but me I want to fucking blow my brains out . I am going to slam my head againtst the nathroom door WHY WHY WHY WHY

why do people always pick on me , why do they always bother and make silly comments about me . the only way people stopped talking and messing with eric and dylan is because they gave them a reason not too . Same with most people who harm their school. You would think people would learn their lessons but fuck those who do it for no reason at all or no good reason but these kids here can die in the deepest part of hell for all i care but i won't be the reason this school gets shot up so please this school and i are not in danger....yet

I hate this school so much , I sometimes wish that everyone would just drop dead or fall off the base of the earth. I hate coming to classes and seeing certain people. Everyone in this school suck so much and I don't want to be a mean person but they make me feel so angry sometimes. Just them at this point breathing makes me mad. I want to choke this one student till he stops breathing  and bang my head on the concrete because I am so suck of getting up every fucking day and coming to this school and i'm very sick of pretending like I don't want to hurt them in the worst possible way . I want this school to fucking set on fire so we don't have  to come back. I can't wait to go home or I might just jump out the fucking window and dieeeeeeeeeee.

•  I have always  been a  Creepy Pasta fan even knowing they don't exit. It's just fun thinking that they could or they do. I am going to keep forcefully lying to myself and going on these hunts to find them  or at least prove to myself of their existence

I will have comfort knowing that in some reality , created or made up in my mind that somewhere they exist