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Here we go for another round of Tales from the Service Desk!
1. Elderly guy walks up to the counter. I already know he doesn't have an appointment and that he is going to raise hell. I've been doing this for a month now and know the signs. I brace myself and hope to the gods that I'm wrong. He plops his device on the counter and starts speaking in a whisper. I take my walkie off and lean forward because FUCK. I can't fucking hear a word.
Of course he doesn't have an appointment, and we are booked solid for the next two hours. I explain this to him and try to make light of it by "Oh, it is lunch time, so you can grab a bite to eat and come back! I can lock you in for 1:00!"
Nope. He sees me leaning forward and begins to speak even more quietly on purpose. He is furious and wants help RIGHT NOW. I walk out from behind the counter and show him the other side where he can see that all of our guys are helping people with appointments. I'm apologetic but offer the 1:00 appointment again.
Nope. This quiet asshole wants a manager. Sure. Let's just bend the space-time continuum and slide you in. He badgers me in his quiet voice. He won't leave until I get a manager who is going to tell him the same thing.
2. Lady plops her stuff on the counter before I can even ask if she has an appointment. She goes into her story. I try to politely interrupt because they get irate if they spill their story and don't have an appointment. I finally get a word in, and her eyes flicker with anger. I know what's coming. Yep. She shouts at me about the appointment system. The next one is in 30 minutes. More shouting until she flaps her hands like a mentally challenged penguin, rips her stuff from the counter, and storms off.
3. Lady with an appointment comes in and starts screaming at me.
THIS NEW SYSTEM IS RIDICULOUS! I DON'T NEED AN APPOINTMENT! THIS IS AWFUL! WHY WOULD I NEED AN APPOINTMENT!?
I am standing there flabbergasted because she has an appointment and will be seen right away. Speechless, I smile and lead her to the side where one of our guys is ready. She is screaming at me the entire time about how awful we are and why does she need an appointment for something so stupid. I give my coworker an apologetic look and quickly tell him that this is his 11:00.
4. Asshole from hell
Of course he doesn't have an appointment. There is one coming up in an hour. I inwardly sigh, but keep my fake smile on. When I tell him this, he immediately starts shouting at me and demand that I explain myself. I politely tell him about our new policy and explain that we are literally booked solid. I turn my monitor around so he can see it (he is shouting at me this entire time). He doesn't care.
"You're just full of excuses, aren't you?" he cries.
"Sir, I am sorry, but they are all with customers right now. Do you want this appointment or not?" I am fighting hard to keep my calm. The line is building up now, so I move to the side (while he's yelling) and take the ones with appointments to the back. Obviously this makes Mr. Asshole even more angry, but I cannot let that line build up. I'll get written up, and they have appointments (I can feel their sympathy and see it in their eyes, so this goes to show how awful Mr. Asshole is acting).
I explain that they have appointments, and did he want me to go ahead and give him the one that's coming up?
5. Random, complicated transaction guy.
I hate these. I am told that I am NOT allowed to grow a line at the counter. All interactions have to be one or two minutes. Complicated transaction people ALWAYS show up at the worst possible time--when we are booked for the next two hours. I have no idea how to do half the shit, and they normally are led here by another department, so I can't just tell them to make an appointment (I mean how much of a jackass would I look like if I did that?).
So a complicated transaction guy shows up. I want to die. I just want to curl up into a hole and scream because we're booked solid until 4:00 (it is 1:00), and it is about to reach the half hour, when our 1:30 appointments will start showing up--aka, a huge line. The last time I tried to do a complicated transaction on my own was a disaster and I had to call someone in another department to walk me through it over the phone.
My brain is starting to go into shut-down anxiety attack mode because the entire day has been filled with irate customers. I can't have that. There is no time for it. I take a deep breath and go to the back to gather my thoughts because I have no idea what the fuck to do. Remember, I used to work in the back and never had to do these complicated, wtf transactions from hell. I decide to say fuck it and help the guy, but I want to warn my boss first so that I don't get in trouble.
The one person working in the back is the one person I avoid at all costs because he tattles on the slightest thing. I see him approaching. Please don't help me, I think. I just need a fucking minute to radio my boss. He tells me about the transaction, which is fine. I have no problem with that (it's the fact that I KNOW he'll tattle. His help comes at a stressful price that I'm not willing to pay). I still radio my boss.
I go an help the guy, praying that no line builds up and that everything goes smoothly. It doesn't, but after a few tries, it's over with, and thank the gods no line had built up. After I'm done, I find out that I was told on (see why I didn't want him to help me!).
1. Elderly guy walks up to the counter. I already know he doesn't have an appointment and that he is going to raise hell. I've been doing this for a month now and know the signs. I brace myself and hope to the gods that I'm wrong. He plops his device on the counter and starts speaking in a whisper. I take my walkie off and lean forward because FUCK. I can't fucking hear a word.
Of course he doesn't have an appointment, and we are booked solid for the next two hours. I explain this to him and try to make light of it by "Oh, it is lunch time, so you can grab a bite to eat and come back! I can lock you in for 1:00!"
Nope. He sees me leaning forward and begins to speak even more quietly on purpose. He is furious and wants help RIGHT NOW. I walk out from behind the counter and show him the other side where he can see that all of our guys are helping people with appointments. I'm apologetic but offer the 1:00 appointment again.
Nope. This quiet asshole wants a manager. Sure. Let's just bend the space-time continuum and slide you in. He badgers me in his quiet voice. He won't leave until I get a manager who is going to tell him the same thing.
2. Lady plops her stuff on the counter before I can even ask if she has an appointment. She goes into her story. I try to politely interrupt because they get irate if they spill their story and don't have an appointment. I finally get a word in, and her eyes flicker with anger. I know what's coming. Yep. She shouts at me about the appointment system. The next one is in 30 minutes. More shouting until she flaps her hands like a mentally challenged penguin, rips her stuff from the counter, and storms off.
3. Lady with an appointment comes in and starts screaming at me.
THIS NEW SYSTEM IS RIDICULOUS! I DON'T NEED AN APPOINTMENT! THIS IS AWFUL! WHY WOULD I NEED AN APPOINTMENT!?
I am standing there flabbergasted because she has an appointment and will be seen right away. Speechless, I smile and lead her to the side where one of our guys is ready. She is screaming at me the entire time about how awful we are and why does she need an appointment for something so stupid. I give my coworker an apologetic look and quickly tell him that this is his 11:00.
4. Asshole from hell
Of course he doesn't have an appointment. There is one coming up in an hour. I inwardly sigh, but keep my fake smile on. When I tell him this, he immediately starts shouting at me and demand that I explain myself. I politely tell him about our new policy and explain that we are literally booked solid. I turn my monitor around so he can see it (he is shouting at me this entire time). He doesn't care.
"You're just full of excuses, aren't you?" he cries.
"Sir, I am sorry, but they are all with customers right now. Do you want this appointment or not?" I am fighting hard to keep my calm. The line is building up now, so I move to the side (while he's yelling) and take the ones with appointments to the back. Obviously this makes Mr. Asshole even more angry, but I cannot let that line build up. I'll get written up, and they have appointments (I can feel their sympathy and see it in their eyes, so this goes to show how awful Mr. Asshole is acting).
I explain that they have appointments, and did he want me to go ahead and give him the one that's coming up?
"STOP MAKING EXCUSES! That's all you do up here, isn't it? All day long! Just make excuses!"
At this point I get a manager because I am fucking done.
5. Random, complicated transaction guy.
I hate these. I am told that I am NOT allowed to grow a line at the counter. All interactions have to be one or two minutes. Complicated transaction people ALWAYS show up at the worst possible time--when we are booked for the next two hours. I have no idea how to do half the shit, and they normally are led here by another department, so I can't just tell them to make an appointment (I mean how much of a jackass would I look like if I did that?).
So a complicated transaction guy shows up. I want to die. I just want to curl up into a hole and scream because we're booked solid until 4:00 (it is 1:00), and it is about to reach the half hour, when our 1:30 appointments will start showing up--aka, a huge line. The last time I tried to do a complicated transaction on my own was a disaster and I had to call someone in another department to walk me through it over the phone.
My brain is starting to go into shut-down anxiety attack mode because the entire day has been filled with irate customers. I can't have that. There is no time for it. I take a deep breath and go to the back to gather my thoughts because I have no idea what the fuck to do. Remember, I used to work in the back and never had to do these complicated, wtf transactions from hell. I decide to say fuck it and help the guy, but I want to warn my boss first so that I don't get in trouble.
The one person working in the back is the one person I avoid at all costs because he tattles on the slightest thing. I see him approaching. Please don't help me, I think. I just need a fucking minute to radio my boss. He tells me about the transaction, which is fine. I have no problem with that (it's the fact that I KNOW he'll tattle. His help comes at a stressful price that I'm not willing to pay). I still radio my boss.
I go an help the guy, praying that no line builds up and that everything goes smoothly. It doesn't, but after a few tries, it's over with, and thank the gods no line had built up. After I'm done, I find out that I was told on (see why I didn't want him to help me!).
