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A rant that's not about work? I know. Shocking!
If you don't have a NoTP or understand why others have them, it just means you haven't discovered your NoTP yet. Trust me. When you discover it, you'll know; the screeching rage will be immediate. With that being said, this rant is for others, like me, who have a NoTP that needs to be thrown into a volcano.
I have pairings that I hate, but none infuriate me like my NoTP of NoTPs. It also happens to be the most popular ship in one of the most volatile fandoms out there (they like oranges, but you think that apple was pretty cool--not allowed! Irrationality kicks in, and they make Sarah Palin look like an intellectual and Donald Trump a decent human being).
It fucking sucks. I realize this rant is petty and one of the most First World Problems out there, but fuck. I fucking hate my NoTP, and I'm going to rant about it. If you want to rant about yours, feel free to comment and we can hate on our stupid NoTPs together.
7 Things I hate about my NoTP
1. One of them is my favorite character. I can't even google the person without that fucking ship popping up. There was one time I googled "[Character's Name] uniform" and guess what the first thing was? Yep. That fucking ship that is about as canon as the world is flat.
2. "That 2 seconds of pouty eyes and lips where A looks at who might be B!" If I see that screencap one more time....A looks pouty because their apartment is fucked up. Who wouldn't be pouty? It's not some puppy eye, romantic cheap Valentine's Day card bullshit.
3. "Well, B said they loved A." Yes, Jackass, but B also said that love was never returned, confirming that they were NEVER an item. Oh wait. You conveniently forgot that because OMG THIS SHIP!!!! IT'S SO INNOVATIVE AND HOT!
4. That other fucking screencap of A waking up and moving their hand. OMG THAT MUST MEAN A MISSES B AND THEY DID IT! Um. No. B wasn't even near A or in the vicinity. But wait. VAGUE SCREENCAPS MUST BE RIGHT!
5. I just fucking hate it.
6. Everyone ships it, and if you are the rare person who doesn't and tries to have an intelligent discussion? Refer to my Sarah Palin and Donald Trump comment. That poor person is raked over the coals.
7. When it shows up on my fucking dash on another site. I take many measures to make sure I don't see that fucking ship (and am very happy to do so), but a close friend suddenly posts it, and I'm like....I can't unfollow them! They're my friend!
So yeah. I rarely think about my ugly NoTP, but every once in a while it splatters on my dash like [insert grossness here], and I can't say anything about it because of #6. Think I'm exaggerating? This fandom couldn't even have an "anonymous unpopular opinion" week because people got so butthurt over unpopular opinions. The moderator was harassed to the point where they shut down what was supposed to be something fun.
I feel better now. I'm just going to avoid that other site for a while and pretend my friend didn't post it (she probably doesn't even know that it's my NoTP). It's not something I advertise because not shipping them is like throwing a puppy out the window to the fandom.
If you don't have a NoTP or understand why others have them, it just means you haven't discovered your NoTP yet. Trust me. When you discover it, you'll know; the screeching rage will be immediate. With that being said, this rant is for others, like me, who have a NoTP that needs to be thrown into a volcano.
I have pairings that I hate, but none infuriate me like my NoTP of NoTPs. It also happens to be the most popular ship in one of the most volatile fandoms out there (they like oranges, but you think that apple was pretty cool--not allowed! Irrationality kicks in, and they make Sarah Palin look like an intellectual and Donald Trump a decent human being).
It fucking sucks. I realize this rant is petty and one of the most First World Problems out there, but fuck. I fucking hate my NoTP, and I'm going to rant about it. If you want to rant about yours, feel free to comment and we can hate on our stupid NoTPs together.
7 Things I hate about my NoTP
1. One of them is my favorite character. I can't even google the person without that fucking ship popping up. There was one time I googled "[Character's Name] uniform" and guess what the first thing was? Yep. That fucking ship that is about as canon as the world is flat.
2. "That 2 seconds of pouty eyes and lips where A looks at who might be B!" If I see that screencap one more time....A looks pouty because their apartment is fucked up. Who wouldn't be pouty? It's not some puppy eye, romantic cheap Valentine's Day card bullshit.
3. "Well, B said they loved A." Yes, Jackass, but B also said that love was never returned, confirming that they were NEVER an item. Oh wait. You conveniently forgot that because OMG THIS SHIP!!!! IT'S SO INNOVATIVE AND HOT!
4. That other fucking screencap of A waking up and moving their hand. OMG THAT MUST MEAN A MISSES B AND THEY DID IT! Um. No. B wasn't even near A or in the vicinity. But wait. VAGUE SCREENCAPS MUST BE RIGHT!
5. I just fucking hate it.
6. Everyone ships it, and if you are the rare person who doesn't and tries to have an intelligent discussion? Refer to my Sarah Palin and Donald Trump comment. That poor person is raked over the coals.
7. When it shows up on my fucking dash on another site. I take many measures to make sure I don't see that fucking ship (and am very happy to do so), but a close friend suddenly posts it, and I'm like....I can't unfollow them! They're my friend!
So yeah. I rarely think about my ugly NoTP, but every once in a while it splatters on my dash like [insert grossness here], and I can't say anything about it because of #6. Think I'm exaggerating? This fandom couldn't even have an "anonymous unpopular opinion" week because people got so butthurt over unpopular opinions. The moderator was harassed to the point where they shut down what was supposed to be something fun.
I feel better now. I'm just going to avoid that other site for a while and pretend my friend didn't post it (she probably doesn't even know that it's my NoTP). It's not something I advertise because not shipping them is like throwing a puppy out the window to the fandom.
