Friday

but no-one would buy it for me.*

Or rather, I could buy it myself, but I've read a couple of reviews, and since it's not yet on sale here, I have to kind of extrapolate the price, and I've realised: I want it, but it's pointless.  All the things I want it for (writing, mostly, and browsing) it doesn't seem to do that well, and all the things I don't really need it for (viewing movies and e-reading) are those at which it apparently excels.  I want it because it's shiny and all the reasons I'm supposed to want it, but in the end, I think I'm probably just going to bite the bullet and get a handy little thing, like an EeePC or an Aspire.  We've plenty of keyboards for when I want to really get a lot of writing done, and for just a few minutes here and there, I'm sure I can manage with the smaller keys. 

Don't you hate it when you have to be all mature and rational about decisions like this?!

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Yesterday we tried to go dummy-free.  It's socially unacceptable for my children to still be sucking dummies, apparently.  In fact, in some attachment parenting circles it's considered a faux pas to even give them a dummy in the first place.  And here we are, with S having turned 3 last month, and he still has his.  So yesterday, after he took it out and put it on the table and told me that big boys don't have dummies, I thought maybe it was the time to try a day without it. 

It was disastrous.  He cried and begged and implored me to give it to him.  He refused to sleep; I put Ice Age on for him and he watched that and occasionally whimpered "I need my dody" (M's nickname for it).  It was a long, painful, agonising afternoon which culminated in him screaming in the car almost the entire distance to M's work (about 25 minutes) and crying himself to sleep while I fought back my own tears - of exhaustion - him not sleeping meant I couldn't catch up on any myself - and of a feeling of failure: what am I doing to my beautiful son?  This is not good for him.  Who gives a shit if the child health nurse or someone at daycare or a relative or friend think that S should no longer have his dummy?  As far as he is concerned, he still needs it sometimes, and without it, he is completely bereft.  Denying him leaves him anxious and uncertain - what has he done wrong?  Why would I do this to him?

We got home and M unlocked the house as I gathered a sweaty, tear-stained boy into a hug, and M came straight back out with the dummy and I gave it to S.  Later, when he was calm and happy, I sat down next to him.

"I'm so sorry I took your dummy away today.  I thought you might be ready, but you're not, and that's really fine.  I didn't mean for you to get so upset."

He nodded and, taking his dummy out to talk to me(!), replied, "I'm sorry I was so cranky."

I gave him a huge hug.  He's so great.

Unfortunately, it now means that he is infinitely more attached to it today!  Damnit!!  I related the story at daycare so that they know, but both he and T are pretty good about not having them there - something to be said for peer pressure, I guess, so I don't think it should be a problem.

Possibly, he may need to give it up by the time he starts high school though...

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My brother said he'd be up in Perth today, so I might catch up with him for coffee later on.  I intend to make the most of the time and meet him at a garden centre so that I can also do some plant-shopping :P  Hey, on a CFF, multitasking is essential!  My other tasks for the day are:

- go for a run with Cooper
- work out food budget as I've been to the shops three times this week and have to figure out how much we have left to spend, as it's hard to keep track of when it's in dribs and drabs; go shopping
- drop off forms to C'link, as despite me telling two different people on the phone and one in person that we can survive without this new payment and I'm not even sure we qualify, they still want to try and give it to us, and as M said, if it helps and we're allowed to have it, well, it's money we can use to pay down the credit card.
- spread last of the sheep manure in the front garden and mow a little lawn
- fold some clean washing and finish cleaning out the laundry.  I did a massive tidy-up-throw-out the other day, and it's so much better.  It has been a particular issue because we use the side door as our front door, and so people step into the laundry before they step into the kitchen, so it would be nice if the first thing they saw of our house was not a jumble of cat food boxes and odds and ends which have been dumped there for want of a better home.  Anyway, now I just have the shoes to sort (ie getting rid of the ones we don't actually wear) and the floor to mop, and it's all good.  Then I can start on the kitchen - but that won't be today.


If there's time, I'll:

- get a lampshade for S and T's room so that we can have our old lamp back
- get some adhesive which isn't blu-tak and put up some of their latest artworks in their room for a big surprise when they get home
- get a stretched canvas or two; I want to do a collage with some photos I've had hanging around for ages, plus something with handprints and fingerpainting by the children, for Mum and Dad to hang in the new place.  Incidentally, I rang them the other day, and nearly dialled the farm phone number.  *sob*



OK.  Off for a run. 




*remember that?  "So I asked my dad...." etc, etc.  No?  *sigh*.  Another failed pop cultural reference, I suppose.