Δαφνη Ευτυχια Αρθουρος

While copying current balances and outstanding items to this year's spreadsheet, I got distracted poking at the spreadsheet where I recorded almost everything I spent over the course of 2003 (minus several weeks where a power failure and disk errors took out a chunk of data) ... not doing a proper analysis right now, just looking for interesting tidbits and wishing Microsoft Excel had an SQL interface.

I see that I spent (have records of having spent) $306 on music in 2003, not counting travel to/from rehearsals and gigs, meals on the road, etc.

• Blank cassettes: $5.91
• Batteries: $15.71
• Nails: $99.06 ($6.06 for Crazy Glue, the rest for nail salons and parking meters in front of nail salons)
• Strings: $51.91
• Stage Costume (socks to wear with my kilt, shoes to wear with kilt or tunic): $73.48
• Guitar pickup: $40.00
• WAMA membership: $20.00

Then again, between gasoline, insurance, parts, and associated costs, my car (the no-longer-freeway-worthy Toyota I'm getting rid of to make way for my uncle's Honda) cost me $2572 in 2003 -- half of that in insurance and a sixth of it in gasoline. Knowing how much of that should be assigned to the music category would be a good thing. Especially since the really BIG problem of not having a car at all is not being able to get to rehearsals and performances. If I weren't doing the music, doing without a car would mostly be a gross inconvenience rather than a crisis. I can walk to grocery stores nearby when I'm feeling well. So it takes about twelve "real paying" gigs to cover the cost of my car plus everything in the preceeding paragraph. I was a little short of that in 2003. (I had more than twelve performances (and one photo gig), but not enough of the performances were in the "real pay" category.)

More gigs would give me break-even on the car, but still leave me behind on food and drugs and stuff. Music isn't going to make me rich. But since the alternative is to stop playing because it's not cost effective (on account of requiring a car), and that option is no good because I am a musician, obviously I need more gigs.

Let's see what else leaps out at me ... $53 worth of clothing other than specifically performing attire (though much of that was opaque tights, which I wear when I perform in medieval or renaissance garb, as well as mundanely). I need to lose weight so I can wear more of the clothes that I haven't worn out recently. No wonder a couple of people have complained that I'm not dressing as stylishly as I used to. $1275 in food, or about a hundred bucks a month, which sounds like a lot -- mostly groceries, very little in restaurants, and I got a lot of help with the groceries that doesn't show up in the spreadsheet. Hmm ... three and a half bucks a day for food. Suddenly it doesn't sound like very much after all, and the idea of skimping on groceries to get some film developed no longer looks like such a clever idea. $2510 on my health, much of which was HMO premiums ($300/month) before I lost my coverage for not being able to keep paying, and prescriptions which I stopped being able to refill when I lost my coverage, but there's some OTC stuff in there as well. $54 for miscellaneous house stuff (light bulbs, rock salt for the sidewalk, things like that -- Mom paid for the roof and painting). $228 under "misc.", which includes toilet paper, stamps, my SCA membership, laundry detergent, PayPal transaction fees, etc. $4000 on phone, ISP, gas, electricity, heating oil, and water/sewer, not counting the $450 or so I still owe for the last tank of heating oil at the end of last winter (which I burned 3/4 of in December). The prepaid cell phone is costing me more than a second landline would cost -- about as much as a reasonably small conventional cellular plan -- but has the advantage that when I can't pay it I just do without my phone, instead of racking up more debt and having yet another creditor sending me nastygrams. (And the disadvantage that folks get really annoyed at not being able to reach me.)

That's not everything, but it's most of it. Enough to be pretty darned scary. Especially when I try to figure out where I can cut back.

The vast majority of my income was gifts and loans from my mother, followed by a much smaller amount from performing, and then at some distance what I earned doing computers and photography, and gifts from folks other than Mom. All together, even with all the help from Mom and my friends, ends don't meet. It's scary to be spending $4.50/month on clothing, $3.50/day on food, nothing on rent, and next to nothing on entertainment, and still be living beyond my means.

Here's hoping I can do better in 2004. I think I need more gigs, both as a musician and as a photographer. (And to figure out how to make money from my art photos.) That's not all I need to do, I know. I've got some hurdles to get past regarding dealing with bureaucracy, too. And my general difficulties with accepting help (which I've gotten somewhat better at -- I've at least learned to say yes when offered food) and asking for help (which I've not gotten any better at).

The big missed opportunity of 2003: the photo exhibit that was supposed to happen in September but didn't because I couldn't afford to get large prints made (and matted/framed) for it. I don't know for sure that the show would've generated any sales, but the art director who liked my work said photo exhibits did well in that space, it only would have taken a couple of sales to pay for the cost of mounting the show, and with any luck the exposure would've led to shooting gigs and more shows. But I was never able to pull together the money to assemble the show. (Sort of like a exothermic reaction that never starts because the activation energy is never supplied.)