[ Even though he told Clay that he would, he still drags his feet figuratively in what he is about to do. Apologize. But he doesn't believe that he has done anything wrong. In the end, fate and his own madness brought this series of rather unfortunate events. It was out of his hands to begin with. But, he has to at least sound sincere.

And that is what he has been practicing for the past four days since speaking with Clay -- sounding sincere. It is easy when his precious lord Loki has fallen. It's so easy to sound so depressed and heartfelt in such a time. But Clay did not step away from him. But Clay stated that they could still be friends even after seeing just a little of what he is capable of.

Yes, to reward him for his faith, he will give something back. Just like he gave something back to be allowed to hold him once more. ]

This is most embarrassing. Or rather... it is rather unfortunate to have to make this message to begin with ... I was wrong. I allowed my emotions and madness to whisper hurtful things within my head until I grew sick. I lashed out at those that were so undeserving and caused the suffering of others. It was ... that was my intention at the time, but that was just my hurt talking.

Being here in COMPASS, it is what some of our hurt transforms into, right? Hurtful thoughts towards others, but many are so strong not to act out on those. I am sorry to those that I hurt and the ones who were hurt simply by seeing them in pain. That will not ease what I have done, of course. I cannot ask for forgiveness. [ No. He should be demanding it while they are on their knees bleeding and squirming on the ground. What a pretty thought. No, sincerity. Must focus on sincerity. ]

But ... I am very sorry ...

[ Next time, I will much more careful. ]