exitvoid | Video | Week 15, Day 4

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Video | Week 15, Day 4

[He can't do this. Every time he thinks that he's managed to come to terms with what happened he remembers blood and longing and the way the silver cross had burned his hands, the way his certainty and faith had faded and the way the sun had turned its back on him, the way he'd hurt people--

He remembers dying and waking up in a half-dug grave. His left arm looks whole from his elbow down, now, but he can't feel anything from it, can't move it except by using his other hand to physically do so.

Despite that, his face is as calm as he can make it, a mask -- even if it's a thin one -- over feelings to keep them from being quite so obvious. He's been trying to throw himself into helping in order to keep his mind focused on other things, but he's not sure that it's working.]

I'd like to ask for some help, if people have the time.

[A breath, but not so much one to gather his thoughts as it is professional, resolved on his path.]

I could use medical or healing assistance.

[It can't be natural that he can't feel his arm, and someone might be able to help.]

And if anyone would be available to discuss a matter of religion.

[That's the far more important request, even if Ky thinks he should be able to settle it better in his head than he has been able to.]

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It is most unfortunate that the only healers I know are gone.

What I can give you is conversation... and I hope that will suffice.

You do understand about taking actions you regret later, as I recall.

Yes, I do.

But the level of which I feel regret is always ... varying.

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How are you hurt? I can heal you, but only if it's certain things... I don't know about religion, though.

I am whole and I can see no injury, but I cannot feel my arm. I had a previous injury there, so the nerves may be damaged.

Oh...

[ She frowns a little. ]

I wouldn't know how to help with that, either. But there are lots of talented healers here, I bet at least one of them can help!

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I'm not religious, but I am a nurse. What's the matter?

Nerve damage, is my guess, but I'm hardly a nurse.

Can you walk?

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I'm crawling back from hiatus...and I understand if you'd rather drop this!

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[ This is better than the panicked messages she's been sending him- ]

Ky... hey, you should have just called me.

[ Granted he tried to attack her and then she was too tired to try reaching him but- ]

What happened? Those creatures in that jungle didn't hurt you, did they?

It's from when I...came back.

I'm fine -- better than I was, I'm sure.

[ ...ah, yes. ]

I hope you are. Not that my bombarding you with messages didn't say as much... so, what are you looking for a healer for? Have you gotten any help already?

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now that I have a laptop that works...

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Welcome back!

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thank you <3

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If you are still in need of help, I'm available.

If not, I'm willing to discuss religion as well. Though, I cannot guarantee I am the best person for this kind of discussion.

I believe it may be related to the fact that I died...

Both matters, in fact.

Sometimes, when people die, things are inflicted upon them by COMPASS. I'm not quite so certain I can fix it if COMPASS does not allow it. They, unfortunately, have more power than myself. But I'm always willing to try.

But how has your religion been affected?

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action.

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I am a healer, but of the same manner as Auraya. I see she has spoken to you already, and if she is unable to help then I doubt I can. Still, I would be willing to try.

[ He pauses then, considering the rest of that. Then, after a moment: ]

Religion is something that Dreamweavers like myself tend to avoid. We tolerate without subscribing. If you would like an...objective ear, then I may be able to provide.

I think what I need is more along the lines of...confession.

But I don't really know, right now.

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Have you regained your senses once more? I was beginning to think some part of your behavior that evening was earnest.

[ He doesn't know him well enough to tell, but he did get the sense of some sort of inner struggle from him at that time. ]

It doesn't matter. You were hardly the only person behaving like a lunatic, though I'm starting to think you simply stumble into trouble haphazardly any chance you get.

I am doing much better, yes.

[ In every way except emotionally. ]

Thank you for your...assistance. It was not my intent to cause you any difficulty.

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[Yoda can't ignore either]

A healer, am I. And religious, some call my Order.

[People call the Jedi Order a lot of things]

It has been pointed out that my injury may be linked to my recent death, and therefore beyond fixing, I'm afraid.

[More for his own sake than Yoda's]

What sort of religion, if I can ask?

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Religious? What are you asking?

Because it's a religious matter that weighs on me.

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A matter of religion?

[Raistlin sounds curious, and is. In truth, he has strong religious beliefs himself, and believes he might be able to answer the question, if it isn't one particular to a specific religion.]

I have done some things I regret, and would wish to confess if there were a priest here to hear it.

[Although he is not sure there is, hopes there is not, for the priest's sake.]

I have also died, and it's...not what I expected.

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