Trivneg: Beast Heart
Regained: Day 221
Nessie, challenges

After school has ended, you're walking home with Yura. (Araj walks with you part of the way, but as she lives in a different direction, she splits off from you rather early.)

"Hey, Aiya." Yura grins widely. "You're not due back for a couple more hours, right?"

"Huh? I'm not..." Or rather, your parents aren't due home until then. As long as you're back first, it's okay.

"Then, do you mind coming with me for a bit? There's someplace I want to go downtown!" You agree easily, and she takes you by the hand and starts pulling you.

You're surprised to see where she stops, pulling you into a music store. Lines of old CDs are displayed against the wall, but honestly, they seem more for display than anything else. Data sticks are displayed around, and terminals with pairs of headphones attached seem to pop up every few feet, along with TV screens showing images of the artists.

Of course, in the back, there are several larger screens, all hooked together to show one large display. And that's what Yura takes you to, close enough to hear the music, and see what's going on. It's... cheerful, upbeat, pop music. You haven't heard much of pop music before, but you know vaguely what it sounds like.

And the screens... The screens are showing the girls doing the singing. There's three of them, and... All of them are Beast Tribe? You stare a little more, looking them over and listening.

There's three of the girls dancing, each of them in similar costumes- Other than the colors, it takes you a minute to notice there's other distinctions between their costumes. The base on all of them is just some sort of frilly sleeveless top and skirt, but... The red one has changed the skirt for shorts, the blue one has one shoulder completely bare, and the pink one has even more frills than the others.

You study them a bit closer. The red one, in the center, seems to be the focus. (Anse, the screen says her name is.) She seems to be moving more energetically than the other two. Her long striped tail and pointed ears make it obvious- She's a tiger. The blue one, Warz, seems much calmer and more graceful- Though her sharp eyes and feathered arms show her to be some kind of bird. (A hawk, maybe?) The pink one, Letl, draws your eyes the most, though. She seems... Really, almost sickeningly cutesy, but she makes it work somehow. (Her rounded ears make you think she's a lion like Yura at first, but she turns around and you see a tiny tail- a bear's.)

In fact, though the pink one draws your attention the most, you can't take your eyes off of them at all. There's something about them... Well, they're all incredibly pretty, which helps. And the song... Something about love. Loving others, and loving yourself. (There's a weird stirring inside of you, and you don't understand it. But how can you love yourself?)

The song ends, and the screen displays the credits- "BEAST ♥❣" (Was that… a heart exclamation point? And another heart? Just how do you pronounce that?)

But then you look at Yura, and she’s practically sparkling in excitement. (For a moment, despite yourself, you can easily imagine Yura up there on the stage with them- She certainly has the charisma for it. You feel your heart beat a little faster at the mental image.)

“Weren’t they great?” Yura’s beaming, and she keeps looking back. (She’s looking back at the red one most of all. You idly wonder if she has a crush.) “I heard their new album a while ago, and I’ve been hooked ever since…”

“They were really good.” You find yourself agreeing. They were, and you want to hear more, but… Well, that won’t happen. So, you just make conversation for now. “Who were they, anyway?”

“Ehh, you haven’t heard of Beast Hearts?!” She sounds incredulous, and you make a note- So that’s how you pronounce that. “They’re super-popular right now! Every Beast Tribe knows who they are!” You wonder if it’s worth pointing out that you aren’t Beast Tribe, and you haven’t heard of a lot of things, but you decide against it.

“You should listen to them more!” Yura pushes, completely ignoring your silence. “I have all of their albums, I’ll let you copy them!”

“Copy them…” You wonder if that’s something you should be talking about in the music store like this, but Yura doesn’t mind. (You remember how she was this way when you met her, too, and laugh a little.)

“I’d like to listen to them, but… I don’t have anything to listen to them on.” You admit. “I don’t have a music player or anything.”

"Well, then, it can't be helped!" Yura throws an arm around you. "I'll lend you my player, okay?"

"Are you sure?" You fidget, unsure. You can't help but be tempted. You know you shouldn’t borrow from people- You know how your parents will react if they find you with it- But that song playing is so good, and you want to hear more… “You’re buying this album, right? You need it to listen to it, don’t you?” It’s your last-ditch effort to try to stop yourself.

“It’s fine, it’s fine.” Yura waves. “I can wait one night for it! You hearing this is more important!” And she pushes it into your hands, like she’s not going to hear any refusal. You nod, and accept it.

“Now, it’s almost time for you to get home now, isn’t it?” She laughs, and with a panicked look at the time, you scramble out the door.

You return home, and immediately return to your room. Your parents aren’t home yet, so that’s good. As you’re supposed to, you immediately get out your textbooks and work on your homework… But at the same time, you pull out Yura’s music player, and put in the earbuds. You have to scroll through the playlists for quite a bit (seriously, how much music is on this?) but you find a playlist labeled “BEAST ♥❣” and hit ‘play’.

You’re a bit distracted from your homework, listening to the music. It has a wide range- Some of them are cute peppy songs, some are slower love songs, and there’s a few energetic-sounding fight songs mixed in. There’s an overall message to them all, though- That you are good. That you have worth. That you don’t need to be defined by what others think. It’s a strange feeling- Practically foreign- But you find yourself liking the songs, even if you’re not sure you can really feel the message.

Eventually, you realize your pencil hasn’t moved in a while. You start working again quickly, but-

“Aiya.”

The cold voice cuts through the music, and your happy mood, all at once. Your blood feels as though it’s been replaced by ice. You frantically pull the earbuds out, and turn in alarm, and find your mother standing there, having let herself into your room.

“We have been calling you for minutes now. It is time for dinner. What is that?”

“Ah- It’s- A music player…?” You offer feebly.

She holds her hand out. Without even considering disobeying, you place it in her hand. She takes one look at the screen, showing the pictures of the Beast Hearts girls, and… Her face turns angry.

“It is this late and you still have not even finished your homework? I don’t know when or why you got this, but I can tell it’s a distraction. You don’t need this. I’m going to throw this away.” She turns and floats away.

“Wait!” You call out on reflex. “That’s Yur-”

She turns back to you, and you shrink down on reflex. The words die in your throat, and you instantly know what a mistake you’ve just made. You should know by now- You should never talk back to her. Never question her. Never go against her.

“Finish your homework and go to bed. Good night, Aiya.”

The door shuts behind her as she leaves. Your stomach chooses that moment to growl, letting you know just how little you’ve eaten today- And it was just made abundantly clear that you’re not going to have dinner tonight. All that’s left to do is…

You finish your homework emotionlessly, and then lie down in bed. Sleep eludes you, of course. You lost Yura’s music player, even though it had all of that music on it… All of those albums, which she sounded so happy about when she told you about them… It’s your fault. If you hadn’t taken it… How are you going to tell her tomorrow?

(When you finally do sleep, your dreams are nightmares. Yura tells you that lending you anything was a mistake, she should have known better, she shouldn’t be around you. She leaves, and Araj goes with her, and you’re alone again, just dwelling on everything you’ve done wrong. It’s all your fault.)

The next morning, once your parents have left, you do a sweep before school, looking in the garbage cans to see if the player is in any of them. It’s your last bit of hope, that maybe you can find it and return it to Yura… that is mercilessly crushed when it’s time to go and you haven’t found it yet.

You meet with Yura on the way to school, and apologize. You don’t tell her what happened- of course you don’t, you will never tell her about how much of a disappointment you are at home- But you tell her you lost it, and you apologize. She just smiles and says it’s all right, but you know that her face isn’t where her emotions show- It’s her ears. Which are drooping low, and her tail is tucked down too.

(You spend the rest of the day trying not to cry, thinking about how badly you’ve failed, how you’ve lost your best friend’s entire collection of music. Of course, you get reprimanded for zoning out, teachers stopping in the middle of class to tell you to pay attention. You jump and nod, and curse yourself for letting it show so easily. You force yourself to become numb- You just can't allow yourself to feel anything at all. Maybe then, failing those you love won't hurt so much.)