[A grumpy man in a suit appears on the screen.]

Let's just get something straight - I can do a great many things and negotiate any number of deals, but the one thing I cannot do (yet) is change your goddamned community service assignment. Believe me, I would love to be able to do that. I would change mine. But it isn't going to happen. I work in the goddamned mailroom. When I move up the ranks and hold a loftier position, maybe I can pull some strings - for a price, of course. Until then, don't bother me. Or opt for the torture.


[He manages, just barely, to not roll his eyes at the inanity of this.]