THE HOGWARTS AU MEME
Mar. 17th, 2015 03:28 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
rathercommon posting in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png){kind=small}
hogsofwar
1. Leave a comment describing your character as a wizard
2. Fuckin other wizards come along and hit that shit up
3. Bam
rathercommon posting in hogsofwar1. Leave a comment describing your character as a wizard
2. Fuckin other wizards come along and hit that shit up
3. Bam
Kitty Jones
Date: 2015-03-17 07:44 pm (UTC)She gets detentions not completely infrequently, gets steamed when someone implies that's contributing to Gryffindor not getting the House Cup (in spite of logic), asks endless questions in class and takes too many courses, stinks at Herbology but is decent at Charms, takes impeccable care of her books and her wand and tends to boss around first-years. She has friends in all the houses and tends to be sort of fond of Slytherins. The non-racist ones, at least. She's fascinated by the Hogwarts ghosts. She doesn't know what she wants to do after graduation. She spends lots of time in the library. ]
my moment has arrived
Date: 2015-03-17 08:06 pm (UTC)That is to say, Sirius Black, sixth year Gryffindor, really does sort of get along with Kitty Jones. She's a bit intense at times, to be sure, and she'll talk your ear off if she gets half the chance. Once, after a quidditch party, he had actually put his fingertips to her mouth and gone shh shhh shhhh at her, and then had sort of stumbled and fallen and landed face-first on her shoulder. Her tits are okay. Even drunk and shoulderfaced, he had managed to tell that much.
No, what he likes about Kitty Jones is just how tempestuous she is. It's a bit like pulling a cat's tail--gentle tugs, at first, until the cat whips about and yowls at you. He likes watching her yowling at other people. It's borderline cinematic, and he knows all about the cinema, having spent three nights out of the summer holiday's weeks in a muggle cinema, watching low-budget horror films.
(The other thing that he likes about Kitty Jones, off the record, is her staunch and firey defence of what every other wizard likes to generalise as "beasts". Werewolf rights are a thing that Sirius is very passionately about. This is only a secret so long as the topic is not broached in his earshot.)
(Anyways.)
It is a sunny day in early October, the sort of sunny October day where it seems as if summer is going to go on forever and ever. In sixth year, Sirius is lucky enough to have a free period. He has, of course, done his timetable so his free period neatly coincides with the free period of one James Potter, who he is right now on his way to meet up with. Running late, which he observes after a glance at his scarred-up pocket watch. James will fuss. He likes it when James fusses. Makes a man feel wanted.
Languid, without a care in the world, Sirius replaces his pocketwatch in his pocket, trading it for his cigarettes. He slips one into his mouth, and is just about to light it via his heavy silver cigarette lighter--so cool--
--When he runs straight into Miss Kitty Jones.]
Oi, watch it--
[A little too sharp, given how much he actually (bemusedly, resignedly, amusedly) likes Kitty. But--]
Ah, you've broken it.
[The cigarette, that is. Force of impact and his mouth sort of striking briefly against her forehead has rendered the cigarette broken in a 60-40 split. Sirius takes a step back, with a faint scowl--making room for Kitty to collect herself--but also making room for her to observe her handiwork.
Figure A: the broken cigarette.]
Look.
i am SO EXCITED
Date: 2015-03-17 08:19 pm (UTC)But he's also turned his back on his family, which is so far beyond brave that she's got trouble even wrapping her head around it. And he's funny. And he does listen to her, sometimes. And he's tall, and he's got this careless way of wearing his hair, and one time he'd leaned against her and touched her lips and it had stupidly made her heart pound so hard before she'd shoved him off and scowled at him.
But now, with half a cigarette smashed on her head and tobacco sprinkling down her nose, she's slightly less enamored of him.
(Mostly.)
(Somewhat.)
She gives a noise of sheer annoyance, and plants her hands on her hips, and responds with a quick, firm: ]
Excuse you. You've broken it. And gotten tobacco in my hair. What if it had been lit? You've have burnt my forehead, you know.
you're so great
From:magic is so great
From:learning is so great!
From:harry is so great!!
From:cosigned!!!!!!!!!!
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From:Hope: detention. write 'I must not tell lies' until Mici tells you to stop. no need to talk.
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Date: 2015-03-18 01:53 am (UTC)And luckily for Kitty, he happens to be the first adult who happens upon the scene of an apparent impromptu duel underfoot in one of the hallways. Which also means it's easy for him to be the responsible adult--Finite Incantatem to stop the spells and Expelliarmus to (temporarily) collect the wands--as well as shoulder most of the blame when some of the sterner, stricter faculty members arrive on the scene, demanding to know what all the commotion was.]
Sorry 'bout that, [he explains, sheepishly, free hand rubbing at his neck] we were doing counter-jinxes in class and I guess these guys wanted to practice some more...
[The explanation satisfies them, and they go on their way with only the admonition that he should be more firm against his students doing such things without his supervision. He waves them off with a smile, thanking them for understanding and promising to talk with them.
Once they're gone, he turns back to the kids, tapping a finger against the confiscated wands.]
Sooooo. Do I wanna know what was really going on here?
Billy Kaplan
Date: 2015-03-17 07:55 pm (UTC)He's excellent at Charms and Transfiguration, but he's not taking NEWTS-level Herbology or Potions, because what the fuck, he has a life to live here. He has a twin here....somewhere.....but they have different hair colors, which, despite all evidence to the contrary, is natural.
Also, gay, Jewish, and not afraid to make someone feel shitty if they make fun of him for any of these things. Prone to hanging out in high places. He mastered apparating early and now he wants desperately to figure out a way past the apparation ban in the castle. Spends most of his time wandering the halls and turning his robes from black to red, or to a spangly starry sky kind of deal.]
Anders
Date: 2015-03-17 08:23 pm (UTC)Once upon a time he was a Hufflepuff at Hogwarts and his best subjects were Charms, COMC and DADA. After graduation he apprenticed and then worked at St Mungos for several years. He was fired for lycanthropy and set up a small shop in Knockturn Ally instead where he'd heal people without asking questions or requiring paperwork, and generated a few favors and loyalties among all sorts. After Poppy Pomfrey's retirement announcement he applied for her position as Hogwarts nurse and is new to the staff.
While he doesn't really have any friends his own age, is completely open about his condition as a werewolf, and he tends to pick arguments with other professors in full view of the student body, he's getting a reputation as a sort of friendly figure among the studenst: a bit of an oddball, but you can come to him with almost anything and won't get in trouble (helps that he doesn't have the power to add or remove house points.) He has zero house bias and is very good at his job, though he will take remarks about being a werewolf... pretty personally, he's got a chip on his shoulder about that, and a lot of ingrained fears about hurting someone. ]
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Date: 2015-03-17 08:32 pm (UTC)Assuming good aim, of course.
And assuming a...lack of slipping.
And assuming one doesn't fall fifteen feet to land on one's elbow.
Well.
Kitty is pale and gasping with the agony of her broken arm when she gets to Anders' door. It's after hours, but...she hopes so intensely he'll help her anyway. Her knock is accompanied by a little groan of pain as the motion jostles the injury. ]
Dmitri Zharkov
Date: 2015-03-17 08:32 pm (UTC)Is a decent student but he is pretty much high all the time. Herbology might be his favorite subject but that is probably just because it enables him to grow pot in his dorm room. Wants to petition to make Hogwarts get house football teams because he's way better at that than Quidditch.]
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Date: 2015-03-17 08:39 pm (UTC)As proudly and as ferociously as she can manage, she says: ]
I need your help.
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Date: 2015-03-17 08:45 pm (UTC)What is this?
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From:Spot Conlon
Date: 2015-03-17 08:56 pm (UTC)He's pretty into gobstones, though. It's a good way to bribe him. He also has alliances with all the houses, and friends within all of them, if they can be called friends, if they're not his thugs.]
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Date: 2015-03-17 09:12 pm (UTC)She's got a little pouch of gobstones when she approaches him - especially noxious ones, she's been promised by no less than James Potter. She holds them out to him as she comes to sit down across from him. ]
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Date: 2015-03-17 09:17 pm (UTC)He's in his favorite spot, which is near the lake, in a place where he can climb a tree and get a good view of who's coming. Kitty, unlike most people, has pretty unfettered access - his boys let her through, no questions - and he's making his way down when she comes close.]
What's happening, Bluebird?
[She got that name in his second year, when he decided that he liked her. He reaches his hand out, takes the bag and looks in.]
Are you looking for a favor, or is this my birthday?
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From:Bartimaeus
Date: 2015-03-17 09:35 pm (UTC)Yeah.
Well.
So has Bartimaeus.
Who is very decidedly not a free-spirited boggart and is instead a little piece of shit troublemaker who complains to anyone who listens about what a travesty it is that his dastardly mind didn't grace the dungeons of Slytherin, that his quick wit isn't being held high in Ravenclaw, and that his epic bravery isn't roared about in Gryffindor.
But. Well. Hufflepuff needs its heroes too. Which is why he practically forced or maybe even tricked the Sorting Hat into placing him in Hufflepuff. Which has done nothing but soar with his amazing addition to their ranks.
If soaring is synonymous with gaining and losing house points so rapidly it's set records.
Oh right he's also a metamorphmagus, knows way too many Charms and Transfiguration spells, and is kind of a major pain in the ass. Who only really tolerates or even likes one (or maybe two, but definitely not three how absurd) people in the whole wide world.]
:>
Date: 2015-03-17 09:44 pm (UTC)Take today, for instance. Today, she strides over, bold as anything, during mealtime and sits down right across from Bartimaeus at the Hufflepuff table. ]
Hello, Bartimaeus.
[ She smiles at him and leans forward. Bartimaeus is also good for another thing aside from charming her: he's got a ridiculous knowledge of history. ]
You're keen on Egyptian magic, aren't you?
Kotetsu T. Kaburagi
Date: 2015-03-17 10:05 pm (UTC)[Kotetsu is a bitty little Muggleborn first-year Gryffindor, only recently sorted. He found out about his magic shortly before the arrival of the special messenger, by means of accidentally shattering several windows and making the statue in a fountain explode one day while at the mall with his family. It was nothing a couple of charms here and there and an obliviate or two couldn't fix, no harm done, he was told, but he tried to beg the messenger to go away and not tell his parents. Which of course was a no-go, since there is that whole secrecy statute business and all. He's very timid and shy for a Gryffindor, very hesitant to so much as touch his wand. He should be excited, this kind of thing is every kid's dream, but he's mostly just nervous about it, considering how he found out.]
Option 2:
[Alternatively, and ignoring any potential time shenanigans, Kotetsu is the new Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher at Hogwarts. He's the sort of guy that practically radiates Gryffindor, the dude could wear rainbow robes and it would still be obvious what house he was in. There're rumors floating around the student body that he intended to be an Auror but his grades and test scores were too poor.
He seems the sort who shouldn't have been hired--clumsy, bumbling, not all too sharp, but shockingly competent with the actual use of magic. If a student is foolish enough to do something like wander into the Forbidden Forest, you can bet it'd probably be Kotetsu dragging them back out and finding a cover story so they don't get expelled.
He's very well-liked among the students and faculty, someone who is nice and friendly and cares about your problems. He'll give House points to anyone (even Slytherins) for as little as showing up to class, and only very rarely take them away, so his class is a popular one...though whether or not his students respect him as much as they like him tends to vary: some find him easy to talk to and rely on for advice and support...others find him easy to trample.]
[ooc: for option 1, replies will come from
2!
Date: 2015-03-17 10:35 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2015-03-18 02:29 am (UTC).....no lbr he's chilling out in a chair by his desk levitating a quill to balance on his nose because he's excessively bored and doesn't want to grade homework. When he notices the Hufflepuff, the quill is dropped and he sits up, waving Dmitri in.]
Heyyyy. What's up?
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From:i wiki dived for literal hours and ended up deciding to bs after all lmfao
From:lmao omg my half-assed hp au is definitely not worth that
From:v_v i've probably more research for this au meme than i did when i was playing coptetsu
From:then i'm truly sorry for the bullshit i'm about to fling your way
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From:hello did you order a 15 yo Souji? no? TOO BAD <3
Date: 2015-03-18 12:50 pm (UTC)Nonetheless, the smile he offers his teacher is a little bit sheepish.]
Hello, Professor Kaburagi. I'm here for detention.
[If he has been informed of the exact reason or not, Kotetsu can probably guess why Souji is there. It's because of his little problem. The one that causes him to mercilessly go at anyone who attacks him or his friends in any way until someone manages to stop him. That problem.
Previously, he used to be sent to stricter teachers in an attempt to curb the behavior, but no matter how harsh the punishment, Souji seems incorrigible. So presumably it is now easier to just saddle Kotetsu with him, with a muttered remark along the lines of, Try to get him to teach you to not curse people.]
Sorry about this, sir.
...I THOUGHT I TAGGED THIS. wow self fail. fail! also lmk if i need to change anything
Date: 2015-03-25 10:25 am (UTC)Well. That.
So yeah, Kotetsu knows--he can tell the moment he sees the boy at his door, because it's not like the Fifth Year needs help with his homework. That much he's known for some time--Souji is very obviously a prodigy. The only reason he could be here is because of that problem.
Honestly, Kotetsu had originally thought there to have been some sort of curse on the boy--had at one point talked the head of Hufflepuff House into having him checked out at St. Mungo's, but they had found nothing wrong with him. Which left it as a disciplinary issue, of course, to Kotetsu's endless frustration. There must be a reason his student absolutely loses it like that every time he enters a duel. He's more determined than most to find out what it is.]
Again, huh? [A lopsided grin finds him, and he ruffles Souji's hair in mock exasperation.]
You'd think the others'd take the hint by now.
[AKA that dueling Souji is not worth it. He's long since pulled Souji out of anything that required even mock duels--anything that requires such an element he's insisted to be done with him directly, so that a well-placed expelliarmus can defuse the situation before it escalates too far.]
C'mon, I'll take you to your detention.
[Said with a little glint of mischief in his expression that suggests it will not be quite what Souji expects.]
Shhhhh only adorable Gryffinpuffness now
From:steph brown
Date: 2015-03-18 12:17 am (UTC)Her best subjects are Muggle Studies (because that shit is easy) and DADA, and she's terrible at Charms. She likes learning about magical healing, and is a loud supporter of bringing magical and medical advancements together to help everyone. She's generally a loud supporter of the Wizarding World embracing the muggle world, since there's a lot of shit they've missed.
Gets into arguments with purebloods a lot and will always stick up for the underdog, and frequently calls herself a mud blood as a way to reclaim the word. Everyone always expects her to be a Gryffindor when they first meet her, because of her attitude, but she's Hufflepuff through and through. Especially judging by the way she studies; she wants to show everyone that a muggle born can be as good as any pureblood.
And she really fucking loves Quidditch. She's one of her team's Beaters and has a bit of a reputation for being incredibly protective of her team.]
Cary Agos
Date: 2015-03-18 12:57 am (UTC)It was not really a bad decision, careerwise. He's very good at never favoring any house in particular, but he is a bit quick to hand out detentions if he thinks they're deserved. Detentions with Professor Agos are served going through reams and reams of paperwork, or being made to go to Hogsmeade and get people to sign petitions, yes, because he is that kind of teacher.]
Nathaniel Mandrake
Date: 2015-03-18 12:54 pm (UTC)He isn't the worst of the fifth year Slytherins-- there are certainly much worse around, and though he may be an insufferable prat to a fault, he's careful to play the fence when it comes to the extremists of his house. Though he does have his own biases, Mandrake is usually canny enough to not express them in public. He's often content to simply let both factions duke it out and watch from the sidelines without getting involved. "Let the chips fall where they may." It's not that he doesn't have opinions or that it doesn't concern him-- he just doesn't like to belong to a losing side, and where politics are concerned, you can never be sure which way the wind will blow. No, he keeps his head down and works hard. It's clear to everyone in the room that he has a burning desire to be the best, and considers his fellow high achievers as enemies to be beaten.
Day to day, he often wears an aura of cold unapproachability around himself like a cloak, and is always meticulously conscience of his appearance and his words. But that is not to say that he is quiet or without friends. He does not readily make small talk or speak up, but when he does, he chooses his words carefully, like each one is worth a hundred dollars. When he does voice an opinion in an argument (usually within the confines of the Slytherin common room) or is called upon to answer in class... he's usually right. His fellow Slytherins and Ravenclaws at the very least often respect his intelligence, though he is a hard person both to know and to read. That kind of presence-- people listen, when he speaks.
Well, that is except for Gryffindors, anyway. Not in the least of which is one Miss Kitty Jones, with whom it's well known among the student body that he has a long standing rivalry with. It's rare that Mandrake loses his temper, but when he does, it's usually in an argument with her. Their first day in Hogwarts classes together, Mandrake had seen her speak passionately about something in their shared class together, and instantly developed a ridiculous crush on the spot. When he went to make the offer, though, he rather put his foot in it-- and they've been at each other's throats ever since.
Among the privacy of friends, however, he's not altogether always the same person he presents in public. He lets his guard down, smiles more easily, occasionally even makes a joke. He doesn't make friends easily, but like any good Slytherin, once he does, he will shank just about anyone for them.]
:')
Date: 2015-03-18 01:02 pm (UTC)So isn't it simply her good fortune that she finally, there in the library, finds a text that might help her uncover why on earth her dittany keeps dying - and it's written, thank-you-very-much, in a language so indecipherable she doesn't even know what it is?
She's in the library, and quiet is required, yes, she knows that. But even so, in that moment as she opens that text to the proper page and finds that she can't even begin to read it, she lets out a loud moan of anger and frustration. ]
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Date: 2015-03-18 01:25 pm (UTC)Or maybe it was prearranged. To anyone looking at their friendship, it's hard to tell.]
So I spent half the night trying to get out of a broom closet, how was your evening.
[That isn't uncommon, because Billy is still on this apparate in and out of Hogwarts thing, despite the fact that it's impossible.]
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