Well, friends. After months of hinting at my writing a British Comedy Femslash story, and/or a Kink Bingo tickling story, I finally have something to share. It's an odd little project that's become quite, if you will, special to me, so I hope you don't mind a bit of a wall of text as preface. 

Special Round is set during one particular episode of one particular panel show—the sixth and final episode of The Bubble (that's The Bubble S01E06 for googling purposes*). I watched the series for the first time sometime this June, and I don't think I'm being deliberately tragic when I say that despite its being short-lived and several years old, it's my favorite of all the panel shows I've seen. The Bubble hits as many funny notes as Would I Lie To You?, which is certainly my favorite panel show that a) still exists and b) has a reasonably sized archive, but there's something about the mood of it that's uniquely, infectiously delightful. The Bubble is ostensibly a news quiz, and the premise is that three comedians are sent to a remote country house together for several days without access to phones, internet, or tv, and then afterwards are shown a variety of real and fake news stories from the time they were away and asked to pick out the real ones (the refrain throughout is something about “three stories, but only one of them is real”). But mostly it's a show about three very funny people who've just spent a refreshing vacation together and are consequently at their most relaxed, silly, and comfortable with each other, and David Mitchell, who hosts, ends up at his most relaxed, silly, and comfortable too, and the result is not only excellent comedy but also the lovely and rare pleasure of watching a group of people on television who seem to be genuinely enjoying each other's company.

And then there's the actual news part. The genre of the news story is ripe for satire, and there's something inherently revealing about the show's send-up of TV news segments and tabloid headlines. As a structure nerd, I really enjoy the way that creating fake but plausible news stories highlights the genre conventions: The goofy all-caps headline. The sound bite. The way each segment wraps up with the same conclusive cadence and groaner pun.

Plus (though I wish this weren't as remarkable as it is), it's the only panel show I know of where a full fifty percent of the panelists are women.

Wait a second (I thought to myself, one day in June, just after devouring the whole series): High concentration of women, show about going off to a house together and getting on famously... and no one's femslashed that???

If there's one fandom vice I've developed over my time here (and let's face it, there are many), it's getting a massive chip on my shoulder about, seriously, no one's written that? and then moaning about how I guess I'll just have to write it myself, grinning gleefully all the while.

But then (see also: chip on shoulder) I got it into my head that if I was going to write femslash in a genre where there's currently very little, I wanted it to be something kind of epic. And then (see also: structure nerd), it occurred to me that if you're going to write epic episode-related Bubble fic, an obvious format is three stories, only one of which is real. Except, of course, none of them would be real, because, well, fiction, and suddenly that sounded like exactly the sort of tricksy meta shit I would write. Then Kink Bingo rolled around, and I thought, okay, one square (or extra) per story, and, well, here we are.

So, Special Round is essentially three kinky porn stories wrapped in some comic banter. Or at this point, one kinky porn story (Shappi Khorsandi/Miranda Hart, Kink: tickling) preceded by some comic banter, because given that the porn stories basically stand alone, I'm writing and posting it chapter by chapter. It's also AO3-locked, as real-person-femslash is the sort of thing I prefer to make available within a specific context. Which means it's not actually legal for Kink Bingo (sigh), but consider it Kink-Bingo-Inspired. Also, if you don't have access to AO3-locked content but think this sounds like your sort of thing, message me and we can probably work something out. (I have no idea who that would apply to, though.)

*If you're new to panel shows, be prepared that while the best jokes are delightful, the worst can be offensive along a variety of lines. On this episode in particular, if you'd like to avoid some unusually egregious misogyny, I'd suggest skipping from about 8:05 to 9:30 of part 1.

Perhaps you would like a link? Here is a link.

Title: Special Round

Fandom: British Comedian RPF, The Bubble RPF

Chapters: 2/8

Pairing: Shappi Khorsandi/Miranda Hart

Words: ~6000

Rating: Explicit

Summary: On the final episode of The Bubble, the panellists present three stories about what they've been doing in the house together. Each story is kinky, but only one of them is real. Well, “real.”

And a disclaimer:

This is a work of fiction. Its characters are one part reasonably well-known public personas, one part extrapolation, and one part deliberate counterfactual invention. And while it might be illuminating to have a long debate about the nature of truth, reality, and fiction, by any common sense definition, this story is made up.

It's easy enough for me to say that that public personas are themselves stories, that stories beget other stories, and that fanworks like this one are much more part of a conversation with other readers and writers than a commentary on the individuals named. I suspect, however, that if you are one of the individuals named, it might be surprising to learn that your story has begotten a story like this one. To anyone named who has found your way here: I hope that you can make your peace with this story's existence. In so many important ways, it's really not about you.

That's about it! It's a strange feeling to put something I'm so attached to out onto the internet. But there it is. I hope you enjoy.