indispensible | seven. video. make ash & leave the dust behind.

[ The last time he saw her, they didn't even acknowledge where she was going. He'd let her go, trusting her implicitly, and he'd died without ever having the chance to say goodbye.

Except that in the final moments, he'd felt that she was with him. That by letting himself die, he would enable her to win.

Everything about those last few months had been dire, full of fear and pain and quite frankly, he'd never expected to be able to say anything to her ever again.

So, bearing all that in mind, he's taking this remarkably well. ]

I'm not even sure I know when it started, actually. I was thinking I might look into it. Do you know if there's a library around? That's generally a decent place to start.

[Vin is not taking this remarkably well. Vin is taking this in a very Vin-like way, which is to stare suspiciously at the camera while her insides drop out and into the drifting void of space.]

There's a library, [she says slowly and so casually that it's clear she has no idea what her feelings are doing.] But I don't think you can get to it.

[ He is so very closely watching her face. His smile is the kind that Elend is so used to, implying a dry sort of amusement that claims he's not taking anything seriously.

And beneath it, his heart is thudding in his chest and his arms are itching to just hold her, and neither of those things should be possible because he shouldn't even be alive and yet--

And yet. ]

Hmm. Well, that's a shame. [ That smile fades a bit now, seriousness showing through. ] Can I get to you?

[She wants to say yes. In fact, she would ask the Admiral to give him a thousand libraries if he could just get here, but she knows that's not how it works. That's why she's here in the first place. Because the Admiral only makes one kind of deal.]

[Momentarily, she hates him, and then she just sort of feels empty.]

No. I don't think you can.

[I want to go home, she thinks, but there is no home - not the one she knows - and no way to get there, either.]

[ No, of course he can't. That would be too much to ask for. He can't have everything. He looks at her, and his smile turns momentarily sad. He shouldn't do that, he thinks. He shouldn't let his heart be seen.

But what does it matter anymore? A moment ago he would have given anything just to see her again. ]

I think I'm being selfish. There was never enough time for us to be together.

I love you, Vin. In the end, I'll always be here waiting for you. Always.

[Vin has a considerable - almost unbelievable - strength of will. It takes all of that, right now, to keep her from breaking down. She won't do it, though. Not here, where she can be seen. Certainly not if this is the last thing Elend will remember of her. Even if he forgets, she will stay strong for herself.]

[She doesn't show weakness in front of people, not the way her instincts tell her to. Not with total honesty. Unless they're Elend, and only Elend.]

[Instead, she nods, steely and determined, and mirrors his smile with one of her own. She shows him her heart without fear or caution, but in such a way that only he can see. He has the keys to it, after all. Nobody else would understand.]

You're not selfish. You're just Elend. And I love you, too.

Tell me what you see.

[ He wants so badly to be with her. It's painful, watching her struggle with her own feelings. He can see her locking them down, locking herself down, and staying in check. She's so good at that. Far better than him.

She was always the strength, between the two of them. Always. But he wants, more than anything, to draw her close to him and tell her that there's no need to hide, because he will be with her. ]

I see my wife. Strong and beautiful and more lonely than I would like.

Where are you, Vin? What has happened to you? Tell me; I want to know everything.

Edited 2014-01-13 04:28 (UTC)

[She wants to tell him she's not alone. But in a way, she is. In a way, everywhere she goes is solitude without Elend. He's half of her heart.]

[Telling him that won't help either of them. She squares her shoulders and absorbs his voice while she can.]

I'm somewhere safe. Safer. Still dead, but - green. And there's a man here I have to help before I can go back.

[Before she can bring Elend back. That's a secret, too.]

[ And somehow, despite how he misses her, despite how much it hurts to be kept from her now, Elend manages to smile.

Because of all places, she's somewhere green. ]
Just like your picture. Green, after all.

You deserved that, to see a world without ash. What colour's the sky, Vin? Is it blue? Are there flowers?

Are you happy?

[ That most of all. The only thing he can do is hope that she's in a better world. The world she should always have had, the one they gave up so much to save for everyone else. He'd do it a hundred times over, if it would give her that same peace now. ]

[This smile is so real she can't help but get excited in response. It's amazing, being around the green that everyone thought was a myth for so long. She loves it, and despite all of the bad things here it does make her happy, as happy as she can be.]

It's just like the picture. It's amazing, Elend, there's a whole greenhouse just full of plants and flowers - there are so many flowers. I have a favorite, it's called hawthorn. White and pink. We go different places, but mostly the sky is blue, and there are big white clouds.

I - [Is she happy? She honestly can't tell. She isn't afraid anymore, and that means a lot, and she knows she's done the right thing. But she misses him so much.]

[Can she be happy and miss him, too?]

[Her smile is soft in a way it rarely is.]

I think I'm happy. I think so.

[ He wishes he could touch that smile. It tells him so much more than her words.

She's not afraid anymore. There's no Lord Ruler. No Inquisitors. No Koloss.

No ash and no Ruin. ]

Then so am I. It's all I want for you.

Well, I also want you to have flowers. That's a nice little extra.

Where do you go, what sort of places? [ He manages to not ask is it safe, even though he wants to. Even if it wasn't, she'd be all right. He knows that. Vin can more than handle herself. ]

[No ash, no Ruin. It's not safe, but it's safe from those things.]

[Her fingertips trip over the screen, leaving smudged prints. She reaches for him.]

All kinds of places. I've seen cities and I've seen different skies. Different people.

There was a place with something called a Ferris wheel. It was like Pushing, flying, but slower. That was my favorite, so far. And I'm - teaching people to dance.

[ Fingertips reaching for him. He can see them; he even reaches back, but there’s nothing to touch but glass.

If he’s not careful this will break his heart. It’s already cracking. ]

They won’t be able to keep up with you.

[ There’s so much unsaid.

I want to see it with you.

I miss you.

I only got to dance with you once. ]

I should really be sitting at the side, shouldn’t I, emptying the library and giving you trouble.

[ His smile flickers, and he tilts his head. ]

I envy them. Seeing you all the time, seeing you in a better world than ours.

[It's impossible not to smile at him. Not to love him. They're not touching, but it feels like they are. Like something from a poem. Touching spirits.]

[She only got to dance with him once. She thinks about this every time she dances with someone else. It feels like a betrayal - of him, but also of herself. But it also feels good.]

I'm researching things, too. For you.

[Because that's what he would be doing: learning everything he could, voraciously, like a bottomless pit of knowledge. She's still not as good at reading and writing as he is, likely never will be, but it feels good to do that, too. It feels like connection.]

You see me now. And I see you, Elend. Neither of us are home.

[ He remembers Vin researching. Books and pages spread out on her floor in a fan around her, while she pieced knowledge together. It had been one of the strangest things he’d ever seen. Then she’d looked up at him, seen him with short hair and a uniform, and thought he was strange.

That had been so long ago. His fingers trail over the screen, tracing the shape of her face as though if he tried hard enough, he could touch it. He’s not that lucky. ]

Are you? Well, I’m glad. I always thought that when you were stuck, the answer was found in a book. Now I know you’ll be all right. You’ll find what you need.

[ His smile probably gives away how serious he’s not. He knows Vin will be all right because she’s Vin, because she always finds a way. And because she always wins, even when she loses. His wife is rather impressive. He’s quite proud. ]

And I’ll find you, Vin. Somehow, I will. I’ll find you properly, one of these days.

I know you will.

[She stills, quiet and content, knowing he doesn't lie to her. Somehow, some way, he will find her properly - whether it's his doing or hers, they will be united again. It doesn't seem possible that things should be otherwise. They are Vin and Elend; they belong together. The universe is cruel, but not so cruel as not to realize that.]

[Just because she's planning on giving the universe a nudge doesn't mean that's wrong.]

I miss you. Your voice and your presence. But you're here, too. [She touches the space over her heart.] So I'm never alone, Elend, not really.

[ She says that and it makes his heart want to stop. If it can. He's dead already; what worse could it do? But her words strike him to the core, because it's romantic and almost poetic, and Vin is not those things. She is practical and careful and far more vulnerable than she seems. Those words aren't poetry. They're just Vin, opening herself up and letting him see her. That's why it cuts so close, and why it hurts so much. ]

No. I don't suppose you are.

That's how I felt, you know. In those last moments, against Ruin. I felt that you were with me, and that was all I needed to know. I think you were beyond my reach then, as well. But I still felt you. I always will.

We were together there.

[Technically, geographically, spatially it isn't true. But in every way that matters, it is. She says what she thinks to him, the things she wouldn't say to anyone else, and even if they're not pretty they're true.]

[She's not a poet. She's a killer. Elend is her poet. Always will be.]

[Her fingers brush the screen again. She can't feel him, but in some of the ways that matter, she can.]

I love you.

[ He moves his hand towards her, as though she's on the other side of a window and there's only glass between them. Glass, and not a whole lifetime. ]

I love you, too. I always will.
I'll stay right here, for as long as I possibly can.

I know. I know you will.

[And she is content to stay here until he's forced to go - until the walls come down again and she's alone without him.]

Vin. Vin, dear, you look so good for being dead.

[s t a r e]

Thank you.

[Why are you like this.]

Tell me everything.

[SIGH]

Starting with what? I don't remember the moment of my birth so we'll have to skip past that.

[Well, this woman is completely unfamiliar, but Brigitte does not let it deter her. She's good with people after all. She knows how to adapt to what people want to see if what's there is not satisfying enough.]

That would depend on what exactly it is you are referring to.

The crossed wires.

[She thinks this is the appropriate vernacular, anyway. She super needs to get to the internet someday.]

I don't think we're supposed to be able to talk to you. But stranger things have happened.

A few hours.

. . . That's all?

[Now she is sort of backtracking on her desire for this all to end right this minute.]

Yes. Never more than a day.

. . . I suppose that's a good thing.

[Or something. She doesn't know.]

Terrible or not, looks like it's happening. And no, I don't.

Is this all supernatural and frustrating on your end?

Mostly frustrating. Does it still count as supernatural if weird things happen all the time?

[Le exasperated sigh.]

[Immediately:] Yes. Yes it does.

[Well. She can't actually argue this, so she subsides somewhat from her frustration and gives Duke a keen look.]

No death threats yet, at least.

seven. video. make ash & leave the dust behind.

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wow this is hells of late i thought i replied. ILU??