SIGNIFICANT NEUTRAL: "God? I don't care about anything like that."
Dream's Charades Game; little malformed blobs of colored sugar
Disoriented and confused, unsure of where he is, Allen goes wandering through the wide empty hallways of this new place he's found himself. He's afraid and sad and unsure, and there's an empty space where his left arm should be. Eventually, he finds himself standing before a large elaborate mosaic door. He starts to reach for it, when a voice calls out to him: "You shouldn't open that door."

He turns to see a man sitting in the shadows, his face obscured. The man asks him why he's come to this place, to which Allen in turn asks why he can't open the door. "Inside that room there's a guardian spirit. My grandfather sealed it away there. You have no reason to be here."

Allen agrees that maybe he doesn't, but he wants to keep moving forward. He says he can't go back; he just wants to keep moving forward, without stopping.

"Even without your left arm?"

"Who are you?"

The man introduces himself as Bak Chan, the head of the Asian Branch of the Black Church. He tells Allen that as he is, there's no future forward with him, but there's opportunities in being a supporter. He needs to search for a different road, because there are many roles in the Church beyond just being an Exorcist. If he doesn't turn away, then God might condemn him as well.

"God? I don't care about anything like that."

Angry now, desperate, he begins to pound his injured arm against the closed door, pouring out all of his emotions in a full-fledged rant:

"I swore -- by my own free will I swore! To myself, who destroys Akuma -- to my friends whom I fight together with -- to the things in this world that must be saved -- to my father, who walked forward until he died -- I swore this!! I would continue on!"

Exhausted, his hand bloodied and injured all over again, he sinks to his knees. "Open ... damnit ... there's no other road for me to follow except this one."

To this, Bak gets to his feet and says he understands. He tells Allen that his Innocence isn't dead, but before he could be told that, he wanted to make sure -- he and Komui both -- that Allen's heart was resolved and that he hadn't wavered and was willing to return to the battlefield, rather than risk another "fallen one" being created. Because he's proven himself, though, they will allow him to try to resynchronize and continue his battle. Although--

"Well, saying 'I don't care about something like that' might be saying a little too much."


SIGNIFICANT NEUTRAL: "See? I'm human."
The Green Knight's kissing/beheading game; a very tiny pie. It's filled with whatever fruit you like best
Allen wakes up slowly, disoriented and in pain. His left arm especially hurts. He hears a weak strained voice calling his name, and sees a nervous thin woman with her hands nailed to a grandfather clock. Instinctively he tries to move forward and is stopped by a tremendous stabbing pain; he looks and sees that his invoked Innocence arm is being nailed to the wall by a grinning Akuma. As he processes this, he hears a little girl cooing praises for her new Exorcist doll. He sees a girl, wearing an Exorcist's jacket, standing over Lenalee, who is seated in a chair and dressed elaborately, her hair up, her eyes blank. Of course he immediately responds, but still can't move. The girl seems pleased, commenting on how cute Lenalee's name is. He recognizes her as a girl who bought a ticket from him earlier [[this part is something he doesn't remember yet, so it's a secondhand memory]], and wonders aloud why she's with the Akuma.

When he looks at her, he sees nothing but a little girl -- no bound and tortured soul, nothing. Grinning, she tells him that she's human, and why is it so wrong for humans and Akuma to be friends? After all, "Weapons exist for humans to kill other humans, right?" She goes on to tell him that the Earl of the Millennium ("Duke Millennium") is her brother, and that she is one of the true children of God, a member of the Noah family. Furious, he rips his arm free, then stops, confused and upset.

"Why are you so angry?" she asks him, as she kneels before him. "Do you not believe I'm human?"

She reaches out to embrace him. She's small and soft and warm. "I'm warm, aren't I? This is how it feels when one human touches another, isn't it?"


SIGNIFICANT NEUTRAL: seeing the Fourteenth in his reflection for the first time
Mother's chess game; a white marble pawn cold to the touch; five times
Following shortly after this memory, Allen staggers after Link carrying a stack of papers, when he sees a dark shadowy figure hovering over him in his reflection in the mirror. He recognizes it as having seen this before, in a dream -- and is subsequently freaked out. But when Link comments on it, there's no one there ...


SIGNIFICANT NEUTRAL: Road telling him that Mana's words were Neah's
Heart Games; a small matchbook -- with only three matches -- strike a match to view the memory.
Tired, afraid, and hurting (this is starting to become a trend), Allen has just watched someone (who?) leave him behind. Whatever the man said, it's affected him a lot, enough that he's having trouble processing it right away. And then, a girl's voice:

"'Don't stop. Kepp walking.'"

He turns and sees -- Road? The girl from his last memory? Lying against some large yellow thing, looking weak and tired. There are tears in her eyes. "Those were the words Nea left Mana ... Neah fought for Mana's sake ..."

As she speaks, her body starts to turn transparent, then fade. "But it's -- a secret -- all right ...."

She vanishes, and Allen is left with a thousand and one conflicted feelings.

SIGNIFICANT POSITIVE: Seeing Mana in the Matron
Cheshire's secrets game; a ball of yarn. Five uses.
Achey but actually feeling pretty good for once, Allen leans against the wall, watching a scene down below. A woman in a nun's wimple and uniform is talking gently to a young boy. They're both crying, but their relationship seems more affectionate and warm than sad. (He doesn't remember who they are or the context of this.) Watching the woman deal with the boy, he is reminded of times when he was young and hurting and needed a good parent figure -- and how Mana took care of him. It's a little bit painful, but it's still a nostalgic feeling, and one that makes him feel warm -- this is remembering something good about Mana, after the over bombshell revelations he's had, plus what he did on that day long ago.

He's happy.


Awareness of the Fourteenth Noah, "Neah" [faces in the mirror, a presence always around]
Heart Skills Game; shape of a tiny sugar sculpted bed
Just the first step in general noticing faces hovering behind his reflection, and occasionally waking up a bit "off" (it wears off quickly as he wakes up more). No voices yet.

SO THIS + THE FOURTEENTH BEING AWAKENED IN ALLEN'S HEART + THE FIRST "SKILL" UNLOCKED MEANS YAY \:D/ FUN TIMES!

A lot of these follow on the theme as the last couple he's gotten, of forcing Allen to confront what he thinks is "right" about home, and what he thinks is "right" about himself and the people he has loved and trusted. Mana is still a talisman to him in a lot of ways, but he's one with reservations, now, because it's impossible to be sure (yet?) how much of Mana's love and care for him was for him, and how much of it was because Mana was aware that Allen was Neah's host. At the same time, Mana still is someone whom he loves and respects -- the first and last memories of this set really sort of hammered it home to him that Mana was a father to him, and no matter what betrayals (such as they are) exist between them, Allen still loves him wholeheartedly, and has devoted his life to following that never give up philosophy.

The fact that it was actually Neah's -- Neah whom Allen carries inside of him -- does not actually change that, though it becomes something that, again, he will keep but with reservations. It's something he's internalized for himself, no matter what else he might find out about it -- he, as "Red," came upon the philosophy to never give up/never say die, which to him makes it that much more precious -- no matter how much the waters get muddied by something this or something that, that is his, that belief and that drive.

He's gotten himself grounded on his own two feet, he just needs to figure out more of what it means, and what he considers to be himself. :|a His heart landscape has most certainly changed.

以上です。　つまないアレンに本当に本当にすみません。　今日から私もがんばる！！