The man was a stranger

On pronouns.

So, here's the thing: If you know a person identifies as a gender, male, female, genderqueer, etc. it's never ok to refer to them by a pronoun that doesn't reflect that identity. NEVER. I get that people make mistakes, hell, I've made mistakes, I am not perfect. There's a difference between an unintentional mistake and intentional disrespect.

So, it's not ok to refer to your pre-transition transwoman friend as 'he' because she is in fact a SHE, no matter what facial hair or other things might 'tell' you. In fact it's incredibly dismissive, rude and hurtful. The state of their body is none of your concern, it's not your business and really is irrelevant. That person, you say is your friend is a woman.

Given that there may be situations where a particular transperson may refer to themselves in historical contexts using another pronoun, it's not your job to dictate that. Even I find it a bit trippy to refer to myself historically as 'he' sometimes I do and sometimes I don't but what I'd expect friends to do is ask me what I want, and what I'd want is for them to use 'he.' It's one thing for me to grapple with my personal history, but for outsiders it's important for them to recognize that no matter what I looked like, it's always been ME inside here, and ME is a guy.

This bit of 'trans101' brought to you by a very upsetting conversation I had this weekend.