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I cannot for the life of me get myself back into journaling and writing. Physical journaling and/or writing here. Ideally I'd like to do both but I'll settle for one or the other. Instead I do nothing. I don't know what the block is.
I really want to get back to it, but I feel so mentally unorganized. Half the time I forget I'm even trying to restart the habit, which obviously doesn't help.
Maybe I need to set some alarms on my phone or something.
I really want to get back to it, but I feel so mentally unorganized. Half the time I forget I'm even trying to restart the habit, which obviously doesn't help.
Maybe I need to set some alarms on my phone or something.
(no subject)
May. 23rd, 2025 06:58 pmI just walked into my bedroom and mumbled to myself, "welcome back to the palace of poor decisions."
And then laughed at my own dark humor.
My room is closely resembling one of those Before pictures in the horrible Before/After Depression Cleaning posts. It's bad. I don't think I've ever let it get this bad. The rest of the house is clean! And really my room isn't dirty, it's just messy. Things just not put away and instead piled up everywhere. I gotta do a hard core donate/throwaway/putaway session. I used to be a minimalist, but grief is weird and unexpected and apparently how my brain decided to cope was buying stuff I don't really need and just letting it all pile up.
I feel like the last year just disappeared. My dog's death so close to my mom's death just did me in. I went to work and I kept myself alive but that's about it. I am slowly digging my way out of it, but it's a slow process.
And then laughed at my own dark humor.
My room is closely resembling one of those Before pictures in the horrible Before/After Depression Cleaning posts. It's bad. I don't think I've ever let it get this bad. The rest of the house is clean! And really my room isn't dirty, it's just messy. Things just not put away and instead piled up everywhere. I gotta do a hard core donate/throwaway/putaway session. I used to be a minimalist, but grief is weird and unexpected and apparently how my brain decided to cope was buying stuff I don't really need and just letting it all pile up.
I feel like the last year just disappeared. My dog's death so close to my mom's death just did me in. I went to work and I kept myself alive but that's about it. I am slowly digging my way out of it, but it's a slow process.
Death Is Nothing At All by Henry Scott Holland
Death is nothing at all.
I have only slipped away to the next room.
I am I and you are you.
Whatever we were to each other,
That, we still are.
Call me by my old familiar name.
Speak to me in the easy way
which you always used.
Put no difference into your tone.
Wear no forced air of solemnity or sorrow.
Laugh as we always laughed
at the little jokes we enjoyed together.
Play, smile, think of me. Pray for me.
Let my name be ever the household word
that it always was.
Let it be spoken without effect.
Without the trace of a shadow on it.
Life means all that it ever meant.
It is the same that it ever was.
There is absolute unbroken continuity.
Why should I be out of mind
because I am out of sight?
I am but waiting for you.
For an interval.
Somewhere. Very near.
Just around the corner.
All is well.
Death is nothing at all.
I have only slipped away to the next room.
I am I and you are you.
Whatever we were to each other,
That, we still are.
Call me by my old familiar name.
Speak to me in the easy way
which you always used.
Put no difference into your tone.
Wear no forced air of solemnity or sorrow.
Laugh as we always laughed
at the little jokes we enjoyed together.
Play, smile, think of me. Pray for me.
Let my name be ever the household word
that it always was.
Let it be spoken without effect.
Without the trace of a shadow on it.
Life means all that it ever meant.
It is the same that it ever was.
There is absolute unbroken continuity.
Why should I be out of mind
because I am out of sight?
I am but waiting for you.
For an interval.
Somewhere. Very near.
Just around the corner.
All is well.
I was writing a reply to a thread over at ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
fandomsecrets and realized I had more to say about the books I've read this year. So here we are.
I didn't have a great reading year. My goal was 24 books and I just barely made it, and a good chunk of those books were short novellas or kids books. My attention span and energy levels have been absolutely shot this year. I think I am still recovering from my mother unexpectedly passing in 2022, my father getting cancer in 2023 (he is now fully recovered), and my dog passing away this year in May (she would have been 17 in June. I am still gutted about it). It has been a rough few years and it just keeps piling on. So all in all I'm just happy I kept reading.
And anyway, for me, making a reading goal is not really about the number of pages or that kind of thing, it's more to push myself and remind myself that reading is a hobby I want in my life but it can get side tracked and forgotten about. Making a goal forces me to remember and be active in looking for books throughout the year.
In the start of the year I decided I wanted to track my DNF (did not finish) books as well, but that got a little overwhelming because I start way more books than I ever finish.
( Books Books Books )
If you feel like sharing any of your own favorite or most memorable books you read this year, please do! I love hearing about what others are reading or how others felt about books.
fandomsecrets and realized I had more to say about the books I've read this year. So here we are. I didn't have a great reading year. My goal was 24 books and I just barely made it, and a good chunk of those books were short novellas or kids books. My attention span and energy levels have been absolutely shot this year. I think I am still recovering from my mother unexpectedly passing in 2022, my father getting cancer in 2023 (he is now fully recovered), and my dog passing away this year in May (she would have been 17 in June. I am still gutted about it). It has been a rough few years and it just keeps piling on. So all in all I'm just happy I kept reading.
And anyway, for me, making a reading goal is not really about the number of pages or that kind of thing, it's more to push myself and remind myself that reading is a hobby I want in my life but it can get side tracked and forgotten about. Making a goal forces me to remember and be active in looking for books throughout the year.
In the start of the year I decided I wanted to track my DNF (did not finish) books as well, but that got a little overwhelming because I start way more books than I ever finish.
( Books Books Books )
If you feel like sharing any of your own favorite or most memorable books you read this year, please do! I love hearing about what others are reading or how others felt about books.
Things I have enjoyed discovering today.
Mar. 18th, 2017 01:52 pmJust some random things that brought me joy.
NPR Tiny Desk Concert videos
I have known about the Tiny Desk Concert series for awhile, but mostly just by hearing snippets on NPR. Today I actually went and looked up some of their videos. And promptly lost a lot of my morning listening to a lot of great music.
Deqn Sue - I just really dig her cadence? I mean the beat is good and I like the lyrics, but there's something about her rhythm that I really like. And she's super adorable.
Lianne LaHavas - She has a beautiful voice, and I like the simplicity of the performance. I don't know, I just like it. Very calm and beautiful.
Oddisee - Hip-hop. Positive and lovely and he has great presence.
Red Baraat - This? This is just plain fun. Described as "fusion of bhangra, go-go, hip-hop and jazz" they were in the NPR studio to celebrate Holi, "the Hindu festival of color, of good over evil, and the coming of spring." I have no idea. It's just really fun music and a fun performance.
And nothing to do with the Tiny Desk Concerts, but another music video: Mumford & Sons cover Not in Nottingham from Disney's Robin Hood.
And finally, a scene from The Winter Soldier with new background music that makes it 10x more awesome. Hopefully this link works
NPR Tiny Desk Concert videos
I have known about the Tiny Desk Concert series for awhile, but mostly just by hearing snippets on NPR. Today I actually went and looked up some of their videos. And promptly lost a lot of my morning listening to a lot of great music.
Deqn Sue - I just really dig her cadence? I mean the beat is good and I like the lyrics, but there's something about her rhythm that I really like. And she's super adorable.
Lianne LaHavas - She has a beautiful voice, and I like the simplicity of the performance. I don't know, I just like it. Very calm and beautiful.
Oddisee - Hip-hop. Positive and lovely and he has great presence.
Red Baraat - This? This is just plain fun. Described as "fusion of bhangra, go-go, hip-hop and jazz" they were in the NPR studio to celebrate Holi, "the Hindu festival of color, of good over evil, and the coming of spring." I have no idea. It's just really fun music and a fun performance.
And nothing to do with the Tiny Desk Concerts, but another music video: Mumford & Sons cover Not in Nottingham from Disney's Robin Hood.
And finally, a scene from The Winter Soldier with new background music that makes it 10x more awesome. Hopefully this link works
I've been looking for active journals
Feb. 28th, 2017 08:57 pmand it's a lot harder than I thought it'd be. I know the site isn't as active as back in the LJ days, but c'mon. There's got to be some people out there I can add to my circle and maybe befriend.
I am also out of the habit of just jumping in and commenting without anxiety attacking me. Ugh. Human interaction, even the internet kind, is hard.
If anyone is actually reading this, feel free to rec, comment, say hello or whatever.
I am also out of the habit of just jumping in and commenting without anxiety attacking me. Ugh. Human interaction, even the internet kind, is hard.
If anyone is actually reading this, feel free to rec, comment, say hello or whatever.
Trying my hand at some inspirational photoshop.
Picture is mine, taken when I was walking across Spain. Just a basic edit tonight. It's been way too long since I've messed around in photoshop. My skills are rusty!
Maybe tomorrow or this weekend I'll make some posters for public consumption. Feeling pretty inspired by those words!
Picture is mine, taken when I was walking across Spain. Just a basic edit tonight. It's been way too long since I've messed around in photoshop. My skills are rusty!
Maybe tomorrow or this weekend I'll make some posters for public consumption. Feeling pretty inspired by those words!
