Randominity

Title: No Regrets
Author: randominity
Pairing: Mal/Jayne
Rating: NC-17
Spoilers: Through Serenity the movie
Disclaimer: I own nothing, and bow down to Joss Whedon for everything.
Feedback: Yes, please.
A/N: This all started with a random drabble. I don't know. I'd love for it to be the first chapter of a series, but hey: the wind blows northerly, I go north. Thanks to vandonovan for the title idea!




Jayne tasted. He tasted Vera's cold steel, imagined he could taste the gun powder he'd put into hundreds of men, and dozens of Reavers. He tasted the taint on her, from being used on creatures less than men, and he couldn't wait to get working again, to kill men like he was supposed to. Like he was paid to.

He'd tasted sweat, and fear, and something Mal smiled and called regret; the sort of thing that made a man sorry to die too soon. Jayne never figured on having regrets, so when he got a chance, he tasted Mal, too.

--

"Now, Jayne," Mal said warily, after he'd hollered and taken a step back, "you're a fine merc, and a decent member of my crew and all. But you'd best be havin' a good reason for puttin' your tongue to the side of my head, or I will not hesitate to remove you from this existence."

Jayne shrugged, running his tongue over his teeth like he was still examining the flavor of Mal's temple. "Just wanted to see what it tasted like."

That gave Mal pause in reaching for his six-shooter. "What what tasted like?" he demanded.

"What you said, before," Jayne told him. "'Bout regret. I figure, with you stormin' all over this boat, dark cloud hangin' over your head, the gorram stuff's gotta be drippin' off you in puddles."

Mal smiled tightly at that. "Thanks for the word-paintin'," he said, folding his arms and leaning back against the cargo he'd just finished stacking, "but I can tell you the only regret I got is not bein' able to send the Alliance runnin' back when I had the chance."

"Oh, like hell you ain't had no other regrets!" Jayne scoffed, joining Mal against the crates. "I know you regret not bein' able to make it work with Inara--"

Mal shot him a warning look. "Now, what's happened between me and Inara's long done. It's air through the engine, Jayne." He shook his head. "We realized we just woulda been bad for each other. There's nothin' to regret about seeing the truth of things."

Jayne only looked slightly crestfallen. "Well," he tried again, "I know you regret not bein' able to get with some woman, grapple with her on a regular basis. Mighta saved us some trouble, you gettin' turned every which-a-way by Saffron, or all that business with Inara, if you'da had somebody."

"Yeah, well, I ain't much for hopin'," Mal said, sarcasm lacing his words, "but maybe one fine day, when we pull off that miracle job that makes us independently wealthy, I can start pining for a long-term relationship." He gave Jayne a slight smile. "Take care of the missus and whatnot."

"Or 'mister'," Jayne offered, "if you ain't picky as to which."

Mal returned Jayne's steady gaze with one of his own. "No, I ain't terribly picky as to which. Was there a point to all of this?"

"Just you sayin' you got no regrets, I imagine," Jayne said, pushing away from the cargo with a grunt and turning to face Mal again. "Which ain't somethin' I'll ever believe, but--" he shrugged again. "I'll tell you what, there's only so much trim a man can get 'fore he starts wonderin' if maybe he wants more than that."

Mal feigned surprise. "And-- that man would be you?" he asked, amused. "Why, Jayne, I hardly realized--"

"Hell, yes, I got regrets," Jayne told him gruffly. "Back on Miranda, seein' Wash.... Zoe--" he broke off and looked into the distance for a moment. "It was like he made her-- better."

"That he did," Mal agreed softly.

"I ain't ever thought someone could have that, kind of life I lead," Jayne went on. "But Zoe thought it was worth fightin' for, and well, I ain't sure she was wrong."

"Times like this," Mal said, "ain't especially good for lookin' for sweethearts, Jayne."

"Who said anything about lookin'?" Jayne cocked an eyebrow. "I just ain't plannin' to hold no regrets, is all." He took a determined step toward Mal, and in the moment it took for Mal to decide whether to punch Jayne or shoot him, Jayne was kissing him.

Mal waited about two seconds for Jayne to realize what a moonbrained thing he'd just done. When he didn't, Mal forced his hands up between his body and Jayne's and shoved so that Jayne staggered back, lips wet and still parted. "What the hell are you playin' at?" Mal demanded.

"Aw, hell, Mal," Jayne said, wiping his thumb over his lips, "there ain't a lotta things I'll fight for if I ain't gettin' paid, but ever since Miranda, I reckon you're one of 'em." He glanced at the cargo bay's doors, then back at Mal. "That's gotta count for somethin', don't it?"

"It surely does," Mal said, disturbed a bit by this sudden need of Jayne's to be truthsome. This was Jayne who had kissed him, forcing his tongue between Mal's teeth, but the man also clearly had some honorable feelings towards Mal, and, well, that changed things considerably. Mal took a moment to think on it, but he couldn't remember the last time he'd been kissed like that, and he certainly couldn't remember waking up next to somebody for more than one morning. It had been a long time since he'd done anything like that. Too damned long.

"Jayne," he finally said, smoothing his hands down the front of his shirt, "it seems you've been waitin' to do that for a good long while. Won't kill you to wait a bit longer."

"And what?" Jayne said. "You ain't never thought about this before?"

"It's crossed my mind," Mal admitted. "But it might be best we see to things in my bunk." Nodding towards the doors, he turned on his heel and strode away, knowing that Jayne wouldn't waste any time keeping up.

They didn't run into anybody along the way; Mal had half-feared he'd have to distract Kaylee between the engine room and her bunk, but the lack of light from the former led him to believe she'd either tucked in for the night or was paying the doctor a little visit. Once they'd made it to Mal's bunk Jayne leaned in for another kiss, but not before Mal pulled Jayne to him, hands fisting in Jayne's shirt. He was just as ready to push Jayne away as to pull him closer, which he figured was the safest approach when dealing with Jayne.

The kissing this time was a good deal fiercer than it had been in the cargo bay, as though they hadn't just made sure they'd have all night to suss out what went where. Mal wasn't sure he liked the insistent way Jayne grabbed at his arms, but soon he couldn't ignore the hardness pressing into his side, or the way it made him shove his own hips forward in response. Then Jayne bent to lick a line up the side of Mal's neck, always tasting, and of all the gorram people in the 'verse it had to be Jayne making him weak-kneed like he was some farmboy of fourteen again.

Jayne's hands made their way down to Mal's waist, then cupped his ass to bring them closer together, and Mal was struck with the sudden desire to be inside of Jayne any way he could manage it. He placed a hand square on Jayne's chest and pushed hard enough to send Jayne stumbling towards Mal's bed, until Jayne sat down and Mal followed to stand above him, between his spread legs. Mal bent to kiss Jayne again, shrugging off his suspenders as he did, then tugging Jayne's t-shirt free of his pants. He let Jayne unbutton his shirt while they kissed, breaking apart only long enough to pull Jayne's t-shirt over his head and toss it aside. Mal's own shirt slid past his shoulders and soon joined Jayne's shirt on the floor, and Mal sank to his knees on the bed when Jayne's hand found the front of his pants.

They fell back onto the bed, kisses sloppily placed now, on jawlines, Adam's apples, anywhere they could reach while freeing one another from the confines of their pants. Mal thrust himself into Jayne's hand while his mouth attached itself to one of Jayne's nipples. He bit, and the resultant hiss and "gorramit, Mal!" had him wriggling to push his pants off completely. He stroked Jayne with his free hand and thought about how it could be, looking forward to this in his bunk every night. "This is how it's gonna be," he told Jayne in panting breaths, kissing him hard and then breaking it off, working Jayne's pants down between them. "Me in you, now."

"Naw, Mal," Jayne grunted, grimacing as he stroked Mal faster, bringing him closer to the edge, "we can do that later."

If Mal had it in his mind to argue, the twist of Jayne's hand as he jerked Mal off was convincing Mal otherwise. "Son of a," Mal breathed, bracing one hand against Jayne's shoulder, and arched his back as he came. It only took a few more squeezes from Mal before Jayne followed with a low roar, and the two of them collapsed side by side on the bed. Wiping down with the shirts they retrieved from the floor, they lay as comfortably as they could arrange themselves, Mal's head just next to Jayne's shoulder.

The silence between them stretched on until Mal could feel himself start to drift off; then Jayne stirred.

"Hey, Mal?" he asked drowsily. "This ain't just for tonight, right? We can still do what you said, later."

Mal smiled as he closed his eyes. "Yeah, Jayne," he said. There would be a later.


end.