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roadnotesI'm trying to be calm... and not succeeding. Last night, I went to the SFWA Authors and Editors Reception with Soren, and touched bases with a number of acquaintances I've not seen in a few years, met several of his good friends ... and, several times, found myself on the balcony, where the smokers were, looking down on the patterns of walking and gathering in the ballroom.
I like balconies. I like corners. I joke about making people come to me, but that's to masque the shyness that makes me not want to intrude on other people's conversations. This balcony was good: accessible, visible, but momentarily removed from the crowd and the ambient noise. I could look down, and recognize friends and loved ones by their movement patterns, and let everything I feel for them show in my face. (And a gold and black arrow to my heart, each gesture perfect, because so perfectly his, and me watching him talk with a friend for a few minutes, enjoying the animation in his face, before going back downstairs and back to his side, to see him smile directly at me, and extend his hand to welcome me again.)
*****
Today, I'm out of work early, to pick up a friend at the airport. She's coming into town to spend the Thanksgiving weekend with me, and others, so we can make what has been an online friendship solid and real. I'm nervous, but serene.
I like balconies. I like corners. I joke about making people come to me, but that's to masque the shyness that makes me not want to intrude on other people's conversations. This balcony was good: accessible, visible, but momentarily removed from the crowd and the ambient noise. I could look down, and recognize friends and loved ones by their movement patterns, and let everything I feel for them show in my face. (And a gold and black arrow to my heart, each gesture perfect, because so perfectly his, and me watching him talk with a friend for a few minutes, enjoying the animation in his face, before going back downstairs and back to his side, to see him smile directly at me, and extend his hand to welcome me again.)
*****
Today, I'm out of work early, to pick up a friend at the airport. She's coming into town to spend the Thanksgiving weekend with me, and others, so we can make what has been an online friendship solid and real. I'm nervous, but serene.
