ruminations | when time came to clear your slate

[At first it was easy to get by with the distractions of the day working along side the council and his inner council to make the transition for the Inquisition in to a peace keeping force under Divine Victoria occur as smoothly as possible. By the time the sun had set Lucan was tired and found his injuries at least afforded him the luxury to excuse himself early from dinner and conversations he would have rather never been a part of from the start. Not when all of him ached, the bed of his newly assigned room was much more comfortable, and he could use the crystal Dorian had gifted him towards passing the rest of the night away while the other mage made his way back to Tevinter.

Then the time between when they would talk grew further apart, though Lucan did the best he could to keep his promise about at least reaching out to let Dorian know that he had not fallen to some terrible fate. Most of those conversations were short, curt, like back when Lucan kept himself at arms length but they always came with murmured apologies and tired goodbyes.

Since Lucan's return to Skyhold the one proud Inquisitor found Skyhold empty, but the few who stayed behind like Josephine and Cullen were welcome additions who saw that the Inquisition continued on at least in appearance sake. Nobles from all around Thedas came and went, but the Inquisitor only spoke to guests in passing his time was otherwise occupied pouring over books in the alcove Dorian once took.

It was at night when all others but the night watch were asleep that Lucan took to the training yard. Wielding a sword in his right hand after all this time proved difficult, his reactions were slower than when he first picked up a blade over ten years for his first spar with his Knight Commander. Casting magic was even worse because while he was free of the anchor drawing on magic and fade caused the still healing wounds left behind to burn painfully that he almost gave hope of being able to cast again.

It is Lucan's stubbornness that keeps him focused on regaining his abilities so he can protect not only himself but the others he cares for that he uses as a focus to work through the pain. Over the next few weeks the wounds heal and close until he's left with jagged scars that always seem to glow a dull fade green color just beneath his skin, the entire area tingles now when he draws upon magic but he can cast almost as well as he used to, but the slow progression leaves his feeling unsatisfied and ultimately in doubt of himself.

That is when the projects start and with Dagna's help the library is over run with new dwarven texts and tombs on enchanting and crafting techniques. Sometime during those weeks Josephine who kept busying keeping Skyhold in order reminded him that Lady Morrigan had left the Eluvian behind when she left years ago. If he had two arms he would have swept the ambassador off her feet and kissed her over the news, but as things stood he immediately make preparations to see it moved to his quarters and sent out letters. He tapped Varric hoping to be put in touch with one of his friends from Kirkwell if Lucan's memory served right there was a certain flower who had dedicated herself to rebuilding one before. What Lucan needed was to find another and he had a perfectly good idea where to start - working or not if they could manage to restore another and cut it off from the working network that Solas controlled then it could be used personal gain.

Of course, the only hint or sign Dorian gets is brief conversation and a warning to expect a package that is delivered in to the city as discreetly as possible by a few of Lelianna's couriers. The note that accompanies the Eluvian contains only one word written out in the same flowing script that matches Lucan's handwriting that reads: Soon.]

Dorian?

[It takes ten more minutes before Lucan snatches the crystal off his desk and gives the eluvian a sideways glance as he contemplates the question he was asked earlier. What was he thinking? He thought Dorian might be more excited so hearing that first had made him hesitate and spend the last half an hour staring thoughtfully at his own haphazard reflection in the inky surface of the mirror. Palming the crystal between his palms he looks back down in to it's crystal blue surface and speaks in to it again.]

Dorian are you still there?

[Dorian ended up sitting at his desk, staring at that exact piece of paper, when he hears Lucan's voice. It immediately catches his attention and he holds the crystal that's constantly wrapped around his neck, relieved to hear him alive and well.]

Of course, amatus. I am just sitting here wondering who is going to pop out of this mirror any second now.

[He says lightly, fully aware that Lucan would never send him such a powerful item if there was risk of Solas finding a way through. While Dorian did not fear the prospect, it didn't go past him that he could be used as a tool against the Inquisitor.]

Are you alright?

[Despite Dorian's thoughts the mirror remains inactive and Lucan silent for longer than just a few moments after Dorian asks his question. All right? The answer to that severely depended on who was answering, but thankfully the topic of his gift and the dangers it could pose made the one about his physical and emotional state easy to ignore.]

Well, Josephine was saying the other day she has far less to do nowadays without you around to make ridiculous requests so I thought I might give her a chance to stop by first.

[Over the years, Dorian has become something of a master at noticing when Lucan is being avoidant, particularly with questions he doesn't wish to answer. It's disconcerting and Dorian frowns to himself as he looks over to the mirror once again, the dull reflection remaining as is.]

How generous of you. I'd be more than happy to be a gracious host for your lovely Ambassador.

[Fingers tap against a tome and then he stands, starting to pace once more.]

Although, with no offense to Lady Montilyet, I would much prefer seeing you appear.

So you're not upset with me?

[Because part of Lucan assumed that the gift at first might be ill received due to the danger of the device and he lifts himself off the edge of the bed and closes the distance between himself and his desk. Sounds of paper shuffling will be heard as Lucan searches his desk for instructions he had drafted earlier regarding the Eluvian and it's wards as not to worry others in his time away. He promised Josephine he would check back in come the next day to report all went well. The letter with his seal was set on top of his books before he grabbed a small satchel filled with personal effects and then took his staff and secured it safely behind his back. Like Dorian the last of his preparations were spent clearing space before the mirrror and using chalk to set up ring of wards for extra protection in case something manage to make it's way through that wasn't him.]

No, of course not. I'm certain you have your reasons, even with cryptic messages and no word for days after.

[He chuckles, quiet but genuine.]

And I am a man who loves unexpected gifts. You can send me things without notice all you like, especially if it includes yourself.

[He could hear the rustling on the other side and wondered what Lucan was up to, standing before the mirror again to reach out and touch the frame. It was unique and rather beautiful, he could admit that much, though Dorian had a hundred questions.]

I don't think I've ever seen one like this before.

My message was succinct, I thought you would appreciate it. Besides I maybe reckless but I'm far from foolish. I have seen your wards and would rather not end up extra crispy.

[He's nearly done marking the floor with the array of intricate runes and magical markings as he muses over how it might compare to Dorian's handy work which ensures if anyone not properly prepared tries to access the mirror will find themselves becoming a human ice cube. Satisfied with his own work he mutters to himself fingers tapping the stone floor that flares up in pale light before fading away and taking the protective wards with them.]

Neither will have Solas.

[At least not entirely and that had been part of the over all goal, because with the majority of eluvian's in his control the answer was to construct new ones that would be cut off from the rest and work as direct doorways to one another. He knows Dorian will have questions among other choice words when he finally steps through to reunite with the other mage for the first time in months.

Along with his rather obsessive behavior he has given little thought to his personal appearance not that he hadn't tried at first, but shaving and trimming his hair one handed turned in to more of an exercise in patience. Or in other cases a test of how long it'd take for him to slip and cut himself and after a few times he became so frustrated that he gave up completely. His hair hung low against his shoulders, now tied with a leather chord loosely to keep it out of face, and his neatly kept beard was now fully grown in starting to fill out enough that given more time might rival Blackwalls.]

Stand back.

[He knows Dorian will be waiting nearby and even if they have tested both eluvians locally and over small distances with no adverse effects Lucan still prefers to air on the side of caution for his first attempt passing through magical devices to cross the long distance between Skyhold and Dorian's home in Tevinter.

Reaching out he sets his fingers along the gilded edge of the mirror, bumping the tips along some of the finer ridges and watches expectantly for the eluvian's magic to come to life and turn the reflective surface in to a more liquid like substance. He already knows across Thedas Dorian's mirror mimics his own, but he waits a few more moments before dragging his fingers and testing the surface tension by making ripples. Only after does he push fingers inside and with pathway between cut off his digits instantly break through on Dorian's side. He gives them a testing wriggle, noting the cold temperature and sucks in a deep breath to steel himself for their reunion before walking through with a crackle of arcane energy as the doorway closes and deactivates behind him.]

[He does as told when the eluvian stirs with energy, heart thumping quicker in his chest from the anticipation of seeing Lucan again. To think, Dorian had been trying to figure out when he could take the time off to visit Lucan at Skyhold, while his lover had other, quicker plans. That he went out of his way to make it happen was something else.

The first sign of fingers was enough to make him smile ear to ear, and suddenly fingers turned into an arm, which turned into a full sized man stepping into his study like he'd just been in the other room. Of course while Dorian had the strong urge to embrace him at once, Lucan's disheveled appearance caught him off guard. While Lucan had not been in the best state when they parted earlier in the year, he certainly hadn't looked as though he hadn't taken a blade to his facial hair in... well, months, whereas it was usually quite the opposite.]

Sweet Maker. [were the first words that escaped him, both in surprise and relief.] Lucan?

[And not two seconds later Dorian steps forward and closes the distance between them to envelop the other into a hug, appearances be damned. It didn't matter, not truly, not when he had him here in the flesh and not merely a voice that lived hundreds of miles away. He still felt like Lucan and smelled like Lucan, and Dorian was confident that he was not a demon tempting him in his dreams.]

I'll lecture you about your hair in a minute, I'm just so glad you're here. [He says with breathless laughter, arms clinging tight. This reunion is far different than the one they had at the Winter's Palace, the situation feeling far more dire than before, the distance longer as well.]

Marker's balls that's cold.

[Certain a desire demon playing the part would have appeared regally dressed and polished compared to his state, chances are a demon would have more polite first words than cursing the Maker's nethers. However, it was as good of a sign as any that Lucan was indeed himself albeit it he became quickly distracted in making sure all of him managed to come to through safely as he pats over his chest and down towards his lower half as he turns in a circle to get his bearings.]

Lecture all you like but I've still got all five of my limbs. It worked -

[The remark comes just as he turns back to face Dorian only to be enveloped and drawn in to a hug that leaves frozen for a second under the words. Glad? That was good, right? When he finally does bring up his arm to return the hug Lucan takes the moment to bury his head scruffy bread and all in to Dorian's neck. Only then does he breath slowly out of his mouth and then deeply in through his nose to capture the familiar scent that has long since aired out of the bed they used to share in Skyhold.]

[He smiles wide at the way Lucan breathes him in, the unfamiliar scruff tickling his neck, but he doesn't let go. Nothing compared to actually physically having Lucan by his side and in his arms, and after such a long time apart having him here was only that much sweeter.]

I can assure you I was not expecting this. Hoped, maybe, but I wasn't sure how.

[Fingers curl against the back of Lucan's neck and he stays like that a while longer, only finally pulling back enough to get a good look at Lucan's face. While it was clearly him Dorian could see the tired, haggard change in his features, and in only less than a year's time. Dorian had also let his hair grow some but it was neatly trimmed and clearly put in the right place, exactly as he meant it to, but he could tell Lucan hadn't bothered with taking care of himself for some time now. It was worrisome.]

I have a hundred different questions but I'll keep them for later. For now, I only wish to know how you've been.

Only a hundred?

[It seems such a small number compared to what Lucan thought would come regarding the mirrors, himself, and everything else they've experienced the last few months that he neglected to share or admit. Of course, Lucan knew now that they were face to face he would only be able to avoid so much now that distance was no longer a crutch for him to rely on.]

Better now that I can see the rest of you instead of just hearing your voice.

[He deflects the question with a half truth instead of a real answer. Green eyes are quick to dart over Dorian's features, ones that look almost the same as he remembers when they parted on the morning of his final meeting with the Exalted Council. Thumbing fondly along the other mage's jaw line he grows distracted by the familiar warmth while catching the sight of now longer hair - hair that Lucan can't help but fits Dorian.]

Stare at me all you wish, I've missed your attentions.

[The deflecting is something Dorian noticed getting more and more common throughout their conversations, and while he blamed most of it on the long distance, he had to wonder if there was more. Dorian wasn't arrogant enough to assume this had anything to do with him. He knew all of the hard work and stress Lucan still endured, even as the Inquisition's forces thinned at Skyhold.

Leaning into the touch, Dorian's hands slip down to his lover's waist and he smiles, though it's obvious he's looking for... something.]

So, tell me... how exactly was this possible? As constant as eluvians have been in our lives as of late, I don't think they are so simple to procure.

Don't tempt me, we'll never leave the room.

[At least not until Lucan's had a chance to re-memorize every inch of Dorian to match the muscle memory his fingers still possess, even now his hand slips all too easily along Dorian's face until they're curled comfortably against the back of the other man's neck.

Dorian's careful eye for attention will no doubt further be alarmed or possible pleased to learn that the rest of him is leaner and more tone than he was a few months ago. If his constant training has lead to anything it was a body that more closely resembled his earlier years with the Inquisition and not one that over the two years of the Inquisition's decline had gained a little weight here or there.]

A friend of Varric ... cute as a button, very sweet and extremely intelligent. You'd like her. Turns out she has a bit of a history rebuilding eluvians all though yours is the one Morrigan left behind in Skyhold. I thought it safer to keep the newly constructed pair back at home in case something goes wrong.

[He teases Dorian with only part of the story when it fact there is much more.]

A friend of Varric's. Why am I not surprised?

[It seemed the dwarf knew anyone and everyone throughout Thedas who could be of use in some manner, so naturally he knew someone who could produce eluvians as well. Dorian could tell there was so much more to that particular story though - it couldn't be that simple. It never was.

He could feel the slight difference in his body just from the embrace, though Dorian wondered if it was just his imagination re-remembering what he hadn't had for so long. Regardless, Dorian is all too eager to touch in return, one of his hands reaching up to cup his jaw and then scratch through the mess of growing hair on his lover's face.]

You are not leaving here without a shave. I won't allow it. Are you trying to emulate Blackwall? I'm not so sure I approve, dear.

He always does seem to have an answer for everything.

[Over the years Lucan had learned never to underestimate the now Viscount of Kirkwall’s resourcefulness nor his never ending network of connections which always seemed to be just as limitless as his former spymasters. In this case the dwarf’s friend had proven an invaluable resource in the eluvian’s reconstruction and activation efforts and Lucan is fairly sure now he would have never gotten this far without her aid.

The thoughts are brushed aside when fingers go to work through his bear, the rougher hairs shifting directions with every new pass of fingers that leave him staring forward while he waits for Dorian to have his fill. He knows exactly what the mage is going to say before he says it, which is why he just puts on that well known frown and huffs.]

I’d like to see you try and keep your facial hair properly trimmed with one hand.

[Maker forbid Lucan ask for help. He never would and that stubbornness still served as his biggest crux. If he couldn’t do a simple thing like shave his own beard then why should he cut it until he can manage it on his own.]

Besides, there are some who appreciate beards of this majesty.

[Reaching up he goes about fixing the mess Dorian made by smoothing the edges back in to place.]

[The mood is noted and Dorian sighs at his lover's stubborn nature, even if he understands his reasoning.]

You don't have to do it yourself if it's too much but I know you won't ask for help.

[He smiles again, patting Lucan's hip.]

Good thing I won't wait for you to ask. But that will come later. For now, I should probably give you a tour.

[Lucan knows as the Herald and Inquisitor he only need to make the request and anyone in Skyhold would be at his beck and call to care for his daily needs. It's just never felt right to have another care for him, but like himself he knows there is little arguing with Dorian once the other mage sets his mind to things. He sighs taking a minute to push now longer bangs out of his face so he can have a better look around.]

If you'd like.

[He's never seen Dorian's home or Tevinter, he's always wondered and it would be a lie if he said he was not curious to take it all in for himself.]

[Dorian's home isn't exactly modest but compared to the Pavus family manor, his residence in Minrathous is most definitely for a "bachelor." His study is warm and a bit of a mess compared to the rest of his house, as he doesn't allow the few servants he employs within.]

Come, I'm sure no one will bother us.

[He leads outside of the study and immediately locks it behind them with a barrier, ensuring no one can go in or come out without him. He's eager to settle down and catch up with Lucan but Dorian has also been eager to show his lover where he lives for some time now. If only they could walk the streets together without trouble.]

It still feels odd living alone after settling into Skyhold where they was next to no privacy. [He says while showing off some of the guest rooms, sitting room, and upstairs to where his own quarters are. Each room is decorated to the nines, and practically every window has a wonderful view of the city.] Although, perhaps, now you can visit more often.

[Dorian's home is the most lavish bachelor pads he has had the pleasure of seeing first hand and while he may have grown up in opulence he had been so young when he left for the circle that it all seems like a dream. It had taken him time to get used to sleeping in his comfortable bed rather than on a cot or bedroll, but Dorian's home had one special thing within it's halls that would ensure Lucan's time would be well spent.]

Bother no, but talk?

[Not that whispering servants was anything new, but the Eluvian was a prize to anyone who might learn of it's presence here. The only part of this elaborate plan that still nibbled away at the back of his mind was thoughts that it could make Dorian and his home a target.]

Alone in all this space anyone might go mad.

[There's a 'no wonder tevinter magisters are all crazy' joke in there somewhere but he refrains as the last room's view distracts him. With wide green eyes he slips past Dorian in order to get a better look outside and at the city beyond the glass. He always had a fondness for exploring new places and a familiar glint in his eyes that hasn't been seen in years comes to life.]

If that means I can see more of the city then I just might.

[His smiles remains as he continues to scan the city's horizon, but he's quick to look back and tug Dorian closer so he can press a chaste kiss to his cheek to remind Dorian he still remains the real reason behind all of this.]

I like the solitude some days but others it only makes me miss you even more. [A pause.] And some of the others, I suppose...

[Watching Lucan's wonder is a relief, just seeing the brightness in his eyes as he takes in the view of the capital. Qarinus is so different in comparison and he hopes to take Lucan there too someday but just seeing him marvel at the city is brilliant enough for now.

Chuckling, Dorian accepts the kiss and tips his head to meet his lips briefly as well, sliding an arm around his waist as he joins Lucan in looking outside.]

Perhaps your homeless look will come in handy. No one will know who you are if you want to act like a tourist. [Dorian smirks a bit, squeezing Lucan's side and noting how much leaner he feels.] Maybe you'll see that it isn't so bad after all and stay one day.

Now I can really tell you're homesick if you're thinking of the others.

[He adds as a sly smirk replaces his grin, while Skyhold might not be any of their true homes the time all of them had spent within the fortress gave it a special place in their hearts. As usual Dorian's secret was safe with him, because it was also one that he had to keep for himself so the others would not worry as they went on with their lives.]

I thought you weren't going to let me leave without cleaning me up? I'll gladly keep my stylish looks a little longer if it means I can sneak outside and see for myself.

[A pity he thinks now that he has not made time to seek out Sera and learn more as a Jenny. Climbing rooftops probably would come in handy if he made his way out at night to get a better look around.]

Though I can already tell you that Josephine and Cullen know I will be gone until tomorrow. I am due back to check in around noon, Josephine said she would make that tea you like if you come along.

Edited 2015-12-07 05:40 (UTC)

Don't tell them. They'll think it's an invitation to come visit.

[If any of them even had the desire to step foot in Tevinter.]

Well, I am not letting you return to Skyhold in this state, of course not. Temporarily though, it would help disguise you whilst out and about if you don't wish to be recognized. [He turns more toward Lucan and leans against him, arm still looped around his lover.] But if you think you're getting away with looking like you don't care anymore...

[He'd be very, very wrong. A determined Dorian is a successful one and it's more than just helping for the sake of appearances or hygiene, but because he knows Lucan would continue down this path if someone didn't force the help upon him.

However, the suggestion that Dorian use the eluvian as well makes him smile again, curious how easy or simple it would be. Neither, he's certain, but worth the risk.]

For the tea? Always. She knows I cannot resist.

Your secret is safe with me.

[Which means he would tell the others if and when he talked with them. Of course, others like the Iron Bull may or may not approve of the fact that he went ahead and created a working Eluvian network between Tevinter and Skyhold.

With his eyes still set on the city Lucan watches as in the distance others come and go along the streets, head tilting just enough to set their temples together as Dorian goes on to explain his plan for spoiling all of his wonderful facial hair.]

It's not that I don't care. I've just had other things on my mind.

[A poor defense, like many of his older excuses regarding past behaviors and distant attitudes. By now these are things Lucan knows Dorian is more than prepared to counter so he withdraws from the window and puts his back to it so he can get a better look at the mage. Now comes the part where since he can't win the argument against Dorian that Lucan does his best to distract him at least temporarily long enough for him find a way to get what he wants.]

Like getting here for one and if the tour is almost done I've got something else to show you.

[Show and tell in truth, but only if Dorian was ready to hear more about the Eluvians. Lucan figured tempting the mage with more details might just do the trick.]

[He can tell when Lucan is being utterly avoidant and it's evident now in the way he attempts to charm Dorian's attention away from burning questions. While Dorian contemplates arguing his point, he also doesn't wish to taint their first reunion with a fight.]

Oh? Even more?

[He asks with arms crossed, watching his lover curiously. Of course he knew just how to get Dorian interested as well.]

As if all of this isn't marvelous enough?

[Where Lucan would normally welcome the harsh but honest words he is more grateful to be met with restraint, because like Dorian he wanted their reunion to be memorable. Something that made waiting all this time worth it.]

You should know by now I always go out of my way to make an impression.

[Even simple things were done with careful thought and precision and when it came to more serious matters it was go big or go home. Which leads him to reach out for Dorian's hand and draw him closer as he leans back against the window.]

First you can yell at me for going back to the Daarvarad.

[Everyone else already had, but in order to make the Eluvian's work he needed to return to pillage what was left of the Qunari's eluvian graveyard.]

It was still empty - thankfully we recovered anything of great value shortly after your departure from Halamshiral and were only there long enough to collect enough samples to to construct a new mirror. Well, along with making a new mirror we needed to construct keys to open them - do you remember what I said about those keys and how they could be anything?

This came out longer than I intended.

I don't mind at all!

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