Oh, thank goodness...

[ He can't help but breathe a sigh of relief when he sees that Ivan is there, though-- oh, has he interrupted something? Kondou can't help but chuckle at the sight; after everything that's happened, it's nice to see that someone is happy. Of course, he has no idea that he's managed to get the wrong end of things.

Regardless, he quietly makes his way to his son's side; he hasn't noticed the blindfold yet, and he doesn't have that information anyway so he doesn't know what to expect. All he knows is one thing. ]

Toshi told me that you asked for me, so I came straight away.

[ A pause, and then he laughs a little. ] Rather literally. I apologise for interrupting you.

You can't-- Ivan, what happened? Is that why you needed me to come?

[ To make it easier on him, he shifts closer, and places a hand gently on the top of his head. Now Ivan has Barnaby on one side and Kondou on the other; at least there's no chance of him being left alone. But it raises a panic within him; just what else had been in those messages that he hadn't received? ]

I... I haven't been receiving anyone's messages, but Toshi told me that they were there.

You keep seeing people die...? Are you hallucinating, or is it something else?

[ The worry that he has for his son is clear in his tone; Kondou hadn't stopped to think what kind of condition he'd be in when he'd found him, he was just so happy to hear from him that nothing else had mattered in that moment. Now, however, he started to worry, and ran his fingers through Ivan's hair in an attempt to soothe him.

Seeing how he interacted with Barnaby warmed his heart, and he was glad that someone was here for Ivan, but it couldn't completely dispel the fear that he felt. ]

I'm sorry... I never would have wanted you to feel that way. I'm the one that should be apologising to you for everything that happened! You'll always be my son. Nothing is going to change that.

I could never disown you, Ivan. You'll never be alone; I'll always be with you somehow.

[ It breaks his heart to hear Ivan speak of himself in that kind of way, even though Kondou can understand where the self-deprecation comes from. He shifts closer to him then, patting his head in what he hopes is something of a soothing and reassuring gesture.

It doesn't feel enough to reassure him of just that, however, so he quietly adds something else. ]

Besides which, I think it's perfectly obvious that there's someone else who cares for you very much, don't you think? Between us and your other friends, we will make sure you're well looked after.

You don't have to force yourself to be strong in front of me either, Ivan. Especially considering everything that you've been through, I hope that you don't think anyone would hold it against you if you had to show a little weakness every once in a while.

[ If Barnaby was awake, he would likely agree, but as it is he doesn't seem to be stirring even despite the talking going on around him. He must be exhausted... ]

This isn't something that you need to go through alone. It isn't a bad thing to lean on others.

[ Especially literally, right now. ]

That's all we can ask of you. You've always been someone that tries your best, and it makes me very proud.

[ Considering that he's his dad, he gets to say stuff like that, right? ]

It's okay to lean on others every once in a while, that's all I'm saying. You don't have to keep being strong for the sake of others. The position you're in isn't an easy one, as it stands already.

Ah... Toshi is doing as well as can be expected, I think.

[ It's been a rough week for all of them, and it's hard to forget that at a moment like this. Kondou pauses, before reaching over to ruffle Ivan's hair again. ]

He checked on me before I came over here. He thinks I'm being too hard on myself again.

[ No, he's not! Really! ]

... Souji? I don't think so.

[ There's a hard tone to his voice that hadn't been there before. Almost as if Kondou would physically stand in the way if anything tried to hurt Hijikata again (and he would, too, they both know it). Seeing him like that, knowing who had caused it... he still didn't have all of the answers that he needed, but from what he did know, Kondou was aware that they would have a long road ahead of them. ]

The circumstances were-- odd. Toshi was under the influence of something, and so was I.

[ Which explained their behaviour, and he supposed that it explained Souji's to an extent... but there were other issues there he didn't want to think about. ]

... No. If anyone needs to apologise, it isn't you, Ivan.

[ For a moment Kondou is silent, knowing all too well that if anyone has to say anything, to apologise, it's him. It's probably about time that he tell him the whole story, because otherwise he'll continue to blame himself for something that isn't his fault. ]

I shouldn't have let you be put in such a bad position, but I didn't realise how bad it was until it was too late. With Toshi out of sorts, Souji... took it upon himself to end everything.

But at the time, I didn't understand that. I too tried to attack him, but in the end...

[ There's a pause. ] They had to stop me.

It wasn't Souji's fault, nor really ours. It was simply an unfortunate set of circumstances.

Would it truly have changed what occurred? Souji didn't know you. By virtue of simply being with me, you would have been in danger. He had no way of knowing you wouldn't have done anything.

[ Unfortunately, Ivan is correct, and Kondou is very grateful that Ivan can't see his expression right now. Nothing good would come of that. Barnaby is already shifting restlessly, their discussion at a very real risk of waking him up. ]

I'm sorry. But it was the only way. I couldn't let Souji be killed instead.

[ None of them could.

And it wasn't the first time that Kondou had tasted death, after all. ]

[ He was wrong to think that, but not for the reasons he would have assumed. The reason is that Kondou never would have left him on his own, not by choice. But he hadn't had a choice that time.

The worst part is that Kondou doesn't hold it against Shinpachi, for doing what he needed to do, and in turn he's slowly finding it in himself to forgive Souji. To forgive him for what he did to Hijikata, at least; the issue of Ivan was a more complicated one.

Kondou knows that he's not handling this well, and he finds himself at a loss for what to say. He tries to run his fingers through his hair soothingly, but he's not sure that it will do a lot at this point. ]

So I have heard. It seems that, when it comes down to it, we may have very little choice left to us in the end.

To be in a position where you struggle to make a choice... In some ways, I'm relieved that you still feel that way.

[ Because having to kill someone should never be the "easy" option. Kondou isn't sure that it ever will be, even if he can understand people needing to make that decision in regards to him. ]

I shouldn't have put you in that position at all, though. I'm sorry.