schemingreader

Title: Risks

Author: schemingreader

Rating: NC-17

Pairing(s)/character(s): Snape/Lupin

Summary: Spying for Dumbledore carries risks that Severus Snape hadn't imagined.

Challenge: New ways to be stupid about the internet! No, that wasn't an official challenge. rexluscus requested " A spell or potion gives Snape girl bits. Details up to you. Pages and pages of explicit Lupin/girlbits!Snape sex. Again, details up to you. No MPREG, please." I thought "I'll claim that after the first days of Passover." But while I was picking matzah out of my teeth, bronze_ribbons wrote a very wonderful response to the prompt. (With quotes from George Herbert! Squee!) So but then...you really aren't supposed to post a duplicate response to the prompt flocked to your own LJ, because the whole point of the festival was to post to lupin_snape, and not to make the mod come after you to explain the rules when she is already doing a ton of work. I'm sorry , _lore. :(

Warnings: Explicit description of sexual activity between, um, people.

Notes: Beta'ed by busaikko with Brit-picking from liseuse and wardrobe consult/styling from maelipstick. All errors, including the stupidity of writing a duplicate to an already-claimed prompt, are the author's. This story was made possible by a generous grant from the Genital Endowment.



It was undoubtedly the riskiest thing Severus had done since he had turned from Voldemort to Dumbledore earlier that year. Perhaps it was the riskiest thing he'd done in all his twenty years of life. He was undercover at a mixed wizard and Muggle party in Camden. For someone who considered himself solitary and anti-social, it was an extremely anxiety-provoking place to spy. Not that spying was an appropriate occupation for someone solitary. If not for his past as a pariah, he would never have developed the requisite paranoia, the social sense born of fear that served him so well. He always had to be aware of other people's motivations, even those he hated.

But if he considered himself solitary, he also thought of himself as emphatically, perhaps even impressively, masculine (at least if penile size was any indication). Taking a potion to give himself a female body for the evening was perhaps the most onerous aspect of the whole thing. He often felt calmer in intimidating situations, feeling his genital endowment against his thigh. No matter how badly things went socially, he could always think to himself, "My prick is bigger than yours." As a woman he had no such reassurance.

Certainly he was better looking now than he had been before he took the potion this afternoon. He purchased clothing at a posh Muggle department store to duplicate a fashionable Camden Goth outfit: snug-fitting jeans, a black sequined halter top that bared his shoulders, black elbow-length gloves, and shiny boots with squared-off toes. His black hair shone and his nose looked aquiline and exotic instead of just large. He had outlined his eyes with kohl and had heavily painted his lips. Female hormones had made his skin softer, but it was the amusement in his eyes that really changed the look of his face. How ridiculous that no one recognized him!

He didn't mind the weight of men's stares on his face, for a change. He was accustomed to earning this sort of gaze by wearing leather trousers (and dressing left) at a certain Muggle bar he knew. Men's eyes in such places rarely strayed much above the waist, but that was just fine. Tonight was different. Tonight he actually wanted to talk.

It would all be worthwhile if he could prove to that sodding bastard bully James Potter that one of his friends was betraying him to the Dark Lord. Sirius Black, that was who it had to be, Sirius Black. Black was the one willing to kill Severus as a joke, even if it destroyed the life of one of his supposed friends. It wouldn't hurt if Remus--if the werewolf, Lupin the stupid sodding werewolf--could see how wrong he'd been to forgive Black for that incident, either.

As long as Severus didn't blow his cover at this party, he would be all right. He could collect a lot of information here, using Legilimency. He had shrunken his wand to look like the longest in a necklace of wooden beads, and he could touch it and cast the spell silently, and no one would know what he was doing. He just needed to make sure that no one knew who he was. Neither the Death Eaters nor the Order could know.

Severus leaned against the wall, looking bored. Soon some bloke came up to offer him, or her, whatever, a drink.

"White wine and mineral water, ta," Severus said in a low voice.

"You're never on a diet, then? You look like a model," the girl next to him said. He turned and looked at her straight on. Legilimens Nothing. Memories of outfits she'd worn to other parties. She was probably a Muggle, not a friend of Potter's anyway. Or she was the most empty-headed witch he'd ever met.

"No, I just don't have much of a head for drink," Severus said. He had no idea how his transformed body would react, and the last thing he wanted was to find himself on his back under some rutting Muggle.

A good looking boyish-faced man in wire-rimmed glasses approached him. Lupin! Christ. His fringe flopped in his eyes the way it used to do in school. He still had the rosy cheeks and plump lips that Severus remembered.

"Excuse me," he said in his absurdly polite way, "you look so familiar. I mean, er, well. That sounded like a pickup line, didn't it?"

"Yes it did," Severus said with an amused half-smile.

"I didn't mean it to. That is. Well," Lupin stuttered. Severus looked into his eyes. What a beautiful girl was playing in Lupin's head again and again, nearly drowning out everything else. Then, inevitably, Lupin's strobing memories flashed on Snape's own real face.

Shite, Severus said to himself. Then there were other, unrelated memories, one a complete non-sequitur of getting hard in class and trying to hide it with his books. Then more of the what a beautiful girl chorus; what a waste this was going to be.

"Would you like to dance?" Severus asked Remus. Werewolf, he added mentally. Werewolf.

"I was just going to ask... yes, please." Lupin extended his hand. His smile made him look even younger, a kid really.

The record they were playing was a slow tune. Lupin held Severus carefully, one large hand splayed on the small of his back and one holding his hand, very lightly. Other couples were snogging on the dance floor, but Lupin was holding Severus like he was made of glass. But close, close enough to speak into Severus' ear.

"What's your name?"

"Rachel."

"I'm Remus."

"Very pleased to meet you, Remus," Severus used the whiskey-dark voice for all he was worth. It was at least as flexible as his normal voice.

"You are such a beautiful girl, Rachel," Lupin breathed. "A beautiful woman, I mean."

Oh really, Severus thought sarcastically, do you think so, I never would have guessed. How does he keep this enormous secret about himself when he is so transparent?. Still, Severus felt a turning-over in the pit of his stomach, as though his phantom cock was growing hard. Really it was more like a general warmth. Those parts were always somewhat moist, so it wasn't like he felt a gush there, as he had half-expected. His clitoris was probably erect: it wasn't exactly like a penis, but he felt something was slightly more sensitive. He was just more aware that he was a woman.

Remus was holding him--Lupin the fucking werewolf you fucking idiot he told himself harshly--Lupin was holding him just far enough away from his groin that he couldn't tell if the other man was hard. He wanted to know. He moved closer, his small breasts crushing against the other man's chest. He would never have figured that Lupin was straight, he always seemed... interested, but too shy to do anything. Somehow they were always looking at each other.

He had been nearly sure Lupin must be gay, otherwise why would he have been interested in Severus? All the curious ones at Hogwarts cornered him in the loo eventually. He had thought he was sure to have Lupin sometime. But maybe it could be something more, if Lupin were really gay, he had thought. Wouldn't it have killed Potter and Black if he and Lupin had been real lovers! Even when people were utterly discreet, their friends knew.

So he had taken his time, exchanging glances with the other boy.

At least, until he found out that shy Lupin was a fucking werewolf.

Damn, he was dancing with the werewolf, flirting and teasing and remember Remus Lupin is a werewolf! It was too late to pull himself back, he thought, and anyway Lupin had an erection and he wanted to grind his own cock against that delicious hardness. He brought his hips in, but of course he didn't have his cock. Instead he felt the erection against his thigh and it was hot and he wanted...

Lupin was nuzzling his neck. Severus muffled the sound that threatened to emerge from his rouged lips, but it still came out, a little grunt.

Suddenly Lupin pulled back and looked him in the face with a startled expression. Severus didn't have to cast legilimens to see his confusion. Then the boyish face closed, grew as close to cunning as Severus had ever seen it.

"Let's go," he said, his voice hard. "I don't want to play these games anymore."

"Where to?" Severus asked. He was used to this.

"How about your place," Remus said. "I don't want to disturb my flatmates."

"I..." Severus did have a flat, but he wanted to go to Lupin's place so that he could find something on Black.

"Take it or leave it," Remus said, smiling.

Severus was angry. Severus was aroused. There wasn't a graceful way out of this.

"Kiss me first," he said in the seductive alto that the potion had given him.

Lupin's eyes softened. He pulled Severus to him by his shoulders. He closed his eyes before Severus did, so that Severus saw his lashes against the rosy color of his cheek. "Remus," he breathed, and then those lips were on his.

He ground his penis-less groin against that welcome hardness, and let his hand slip down to Lupin's arse.

"Come on, let's get out of here," Lupin said in a choked voice.

---

It took them a moment to get to the Apparition point, and then they were in Severus' dark hallway outside his flat. Lupin pushed him against his door with a thud and kissed him again, mouth open, tongue between Severus' bottom lip and crowded lower front teeth. They broke apart and Severus opened the door.

As soon as they were inside, Lupin cast silencio and grasped Severus' shoulders.

"Snape, are you mad? What have you done to yourself?" He was not yelling, but looking at Severus with terrible intensity.

"It's not permanent, Lupin," Severus said sheepishly. "How did you know?"

"Sense of smell," Lupin said tersely. "You smell like... well, like you, but female."

"Is that a werewolf thing, being able to smell who I am?" Severus had intended his voice to sound scornful, but it somehow came out soft, seductive.

"Honestly not sure. I've been a werewolf so long, but it's not like... I used to sit near you in Binn's class. You always used coal tar shampoo, and, er, I knew your brand of deodorant and... how it smelt on you. The smell of your body, when it's clean, of your armpits, your scalp..." His voice wasn't mocking. He sounded aroused. He still had his hands on Severus' shoulders, but was stroking the bare skin of his upper arm, repeatedly.

Severus tried to sneer, but failed, he suspected spectacularly. He was as turned on as he could remember being, listening to Lupin reminisce about sniffing him in class. It was so wrong, and he didn't even have a penis to get hard.

"It made me hard," Remus said, unnecessarily. "Your scent makes me hard."

Severus leaned forward and kissed him again, grinding his weird female groin into the other man's thigh. The clitoris sent harsh little sparks of feeling through him, like pinpoints.

"I don't know what you're doing here. I don't trust you, Severus," Remus said quietly.

"I don't know why you should," Severus said.

"I want to go to bed with you," Remus blurted.

"You want to go to bed with me. You mean you want to fuck me," Severus purred. "I don't think that's a problem."

"It's not what I imagined, Severus."

"Do you like girls, Lupin? Do you go to bed with girls?"

"Sometimes."

"Good, because I have no idea how any of this works," Severus ran his hands over his clothed body: his breasts, his hips, his groin. He looked Remus in the eye. He was staring.

"You like breasts, Lupin?"

"I like your breasts, Severus." He reached around Severus' neck and untied the halter top. The front fell open; Lupin put his hands on Severus' breasts. He began to rub them in circles against Severus' chest, his face buried where Severus' long neck met his shoulder. His kisses were wet, his lips melting against the skin of Severus' throat.

This was the sort of thing that ordinarily made Severus want to scream "Get on with it!" but this time he was moaning, writhing. He began to unbutton Remus' shirt. How good it would feel to rub his breasts against the other man's chest. Somehow it didn't fit for such a boyish looking person to have such an adult chest. He was hairy except where his skin scarred smooth, and his pectoral muscles were developed and hard.

"Why are we standing in the hallway against the door," Remus asked in a reasonable tone. "Why aren't we going to bed? In the bed? Or at least on a couch. Or the floor. Please, Severus."

Rolling his eyes, Severus took Remus' hand and led him into the bedroom. His bed was made, which was a miracle. Remus didn't let go of his hand. Severus still wanted to kiss him, so he did, making noises.

"I sound like a girl," he muttered.

"I suppose you are a girl, for now, in a way," Remus said. They sat on the edge of the bed and just snogged for a bit, their tongues in each other's mouths, breathing each other's breath. Severus had never done this before and he liked it. There was never anyone he'd wanted to kiss the way he wanted to kiss Remus Lupin.

Remus seemed to be getting increasingly excited from the kissing. He stopped to take Severus' shirt off the rest of the way, and then began unbuttoning the front of Severus' jeans. Severus was wearing pink nylon panties.

The crotch was soaked.

Remus ran his fingers over the slippery fabric covering Severus' clit. Severus squirmed against Remus. He shut his eyes. Remus kissed him again, full on the mouth. Then he began kissing his way down the female body.

Severus was trying to pay attention and make comparisons. The nipples were somehow less sensitive, but possibly connected to something deep inside his cunt? That stomach-flopping feeling was clearly arousal. Remus fingers felt acidic, or somehow too salty, against the mucus membranes of his labia. But he didn't want him to stop. He could only groan at the sparks of feeling as Remus touched his clitoris, groan and flex his hips as Remus's tongue hit his navel. Remus was tugging his pubic hair and then finally--no, he was just breathing on it--

"For God's sake, put your mouth on me!" Severus snapped.

Remus' grinning face appeared from between Severus' spread legs. Then he just saw the other's man's eyes. Then he collapsed against the pillows. So wet, it was so wet! This was better than a blow-job, better than anything, but he was hanging on, why wasn't he coming? It was too much. He was making so much noise--he never made this much noise. Finally he went over the edge, but it seemed to last eons. Remus had his fingers inside, and Severus could feel the walls of his cunt spasming around them.

The orgasm seemed to have subsided. Severus' breathing slowed. Then Remus gave one last lick and he heard himself give a little scream, his whole body spasming again, his limbs twitching convulsively. Remus laughed quietly to himself.

Remus pulled himself up on the bed next to Severus and put his arms around him.

"So you have done this before," Severus said huskily.

"Once or twice," Remus said. "I read some books. You can learn a lot from reading."

"Are you straight, then?"

"No... not really. I don't know. Bi, I guess. You?"

"Everyone at Hogwarts knew I was queer. You knew."

"Yeah." Remus smiled shyly. "It wasn't exactly a secret. Listen, Severus, I'm sorry about..."

He was going to start apologizing for all of his friends' harassment and bullying. Severus cut him off. "Are we going to fuck next, then?"

"You really know how to seduce a fellow, don't you?"

Better than you do, revisiting old school day humiliations in bed, Severus thought.

Remus embraced him and started kissing Severus' face. His breath was a little cunty but Severus found it rather more arousing than not. He reached down to unfasten Remus' trousers. They hung low and loose on his hips and Severus' hand brushed over the head of Remus' cock before they were even off, where it was poking out of his underwear.

"Oh, very nice," Severus murmured to himself. "I want a mouthful of that."

Remus made a sound that was somewhere between a guffaw and a moan. Good. Severus had his trousers off and his pants down and was mouthing his velvety cock in seconds. No teasing, no waiting--they were men. Teasing is for birds.

Severus was very good at giving head. He'd had lots of practice. He could take the whole thing into his throat, he could swirl his tongue... finally, after all these years, he was getting to hear those noises from Remus Lupin.

"Gods, Severus, stop! If I come now, how can we--unh!"

Severus pulled his head away. He had gotten a bit absorbed in his cock sucking again. "All right," he gasped, "The lube is in the nightstand, top drawer."

"Oh. Oh, of course, it would be a good idea to use lube..." Remus said, looking confused.

"Right, yes, forgot, this thing makes its own lube, yes," Severus muttered.

"It might be tight though, " Remus said thoughtfully, "You might even have a hymen."

He was pulling his clothing the rest of the way off. Severus took in that Remus Lupin was naked in his bed and slicking his cock with lube to fuck him.

"I'll do that," he said quickly. "Let me." He grabbed Remus' erection and slid his hand up and down. "Brilliant," he muttered. "That feels brilliant."

Remus was kneeling between his legs and sticking his slick fingers inside of Severus' cunt. He was thrusting, at first with shallow strokes, and then deeper inside.

"Just fuck me," Severus said, squirming. "You're driving me mad!"

Remus smirked. "I don't want it to hurt. Why don't you get on top?" He rolled over onto his back, his cock sticking up like a red flag.

Severus straddled him and began rubbing his clit against the head of Remus' penis. It felt so good, so hot. He was sliding the nub of the clit the full length of Remus' prick, and then the head breached his cunt.

They went slow. Too big, even with the lube, and Remus was trying to hold back. They both were, but finally the urge to thrust and rub together was too much. Severus stretched full length over Remus' body, moving his arse in a circular motion, feeling the hot cock rigid inside him. He was braced on his elbows, his mouth open, panting. It hurt, but he also felt it press against some point inside him, and he couldn't stop moving. He had to feel more.

"Severus... so beautiful..."

Remus grasped his arse and pulled them both up a little, so that his back rested against the headboard. Severus felt the penetration more deeply, and the position also gave him more control. It had the added effect of putting Remus eye to eye with Severus' breasts.

Remus put one of the nipples in his mouth, kneading the other breast with his hand. Something deep inside grasped and spasmed around Remus' cock, and Severus shouted and came. Remus worked a finger into his arse and the spasms seemed to continue, everything wet and slick and hot.

Then Remus grabbed both cheeks of his arse and spread them and flipped him over onto his back. With a finger deep in his rectum, Remus plunged his cock into Severus, swinging in and out of him. Each thrust made Severus grunt with pleasure, until finally he grabbed Remus' arse and pulled him in close.

"Ah, ah Severus, ah!" Remus groaned. He collapsed on top of Severus' body, his cock buried deep in the other man's cunt.

---

Severus slept under Remus for twenty minutes. He woke himself with one of his own snores.

"When does the potion wear off?" Remus asked.

"How did you know it was a potion and not a spell?"

"Because I know how you think, Severus. You believe in catalysts and reactions, not in changing the essential nature of things."

"It should wear off by tomorrow morning."

"Will I be here for that?"

"That's up to you."

"I'd like to stay. I'd like to be with you in your real body." He smiled, and then looked down at the bedclothes. "I still don't understand why you did it, though."

"Turn myself into a girl?"

"Slept with me. I mean," Remus held up a hand, smiling, "fucked me."

"Why not?" Severus looked at Remus, his face carefully blank.

"You didn't want me in school because you thought I meant to kill you. You wouldn't even look at me for all of seventh year, much less accept my apology. I feel like I can't trust you, like you came trying to trick me."

"Of course I was trying to trick you! I was trying to trick everyone! This is a disguise!" Severus rolled his eyes, starting involuntarily at the mascara on his lashes as he did.

"Well, what the hell are you doing? Who financed this disguise? Who sent you?"

"Dumbledore thinks that one of Potter's friends is a spy."

"I know."

"He sent me to..."


"He sent you to sleep with me to find out whether it's me? Christ, Snape, you are utter shit at spying. You aren't supposed to tell me that."

"No, of course it isn't you."

"What? What do you mean?" Lupin looked at him with a cool lack of emotion that made Snape think he must be angry.

"You could never betray Potter."

"You...are an idiot. This flat is silenced. You are alone with me. You just decided based on what, intuition, that I'm not the spy? I could kill you and no one would know what happened." Remus said this with no emotion whatever. He was menacing when angry, the blankness was more frightening than a display of temper.

Severus paused. "It would be too obvious for the Dark Lord to pick you, a werewolf, to betray your friends. Everyone suspects you anyway. No one would be surprised. If it happened, your friends would all forgive you--'poor thing, they probably made promises about reversing all of those Ministry decrees' and all of that. I mean, after the Ministry put you down as a dangerous beast."

"But you said I couldn't do it."

"Of course you couldn't. You let those boys walk all over you for years. Besides, it could be anyone. It could be a friend of Evans'."

"Knowing you, you are assuming it's Sirius."

"No, I'm assuming it's Peter bloody Pettigrew, who jumps at the sight of his own shadow. Hell, yes, I think it's Black! If he would betray your secret so accidentally, why wouldn't he tell the Order's secrets? Why wouldn't he betray his other friends?"

"He... he didn't understand about me."

"He understood perfectly. He had excellent grades in Defence Against the Dark Arts--he had excellent grades in everything. He's very bright, your friend Sirius Black."

"But he didn't think it through. I could have killed you, or turned you, and then..."

"And then you would have killed yourself, or the Ministry would have done it."

"You think he did that on purpose? Didn't you do anything you regret, at that age?"

Severus didn't say anything. It was only four years ago. He regretted everything he'd done since then. But Severus was angry, anyway.

"I knew you would side with him. I knew it. I hope I catch him and you have to confront what kind of a person he really is."

They were silent.

"Do you still want me to stay?"

"I don't know." Yes! Yes, I want you to stay, you idiot! I am still in love with you, in spite of everything. You are a werewolf and you would eat me as soon as look at me when the moon is full, you don't give a damn whether I live or die full moon or no, and I still want you. I am pathetic.

"This whole enterprise is so dangerous for you. Disguises. Spying. You take too many risks," Remus said. He put his arms around Severus and kissed him.

"Stay," Severus whispered.