schemingreader

Title: This Might Take Me a Little Time
Author: schemingreader
Pairing: Snape/Lupin
Rating: NC-17
Author's Note: mnemosyne_1 gave me this plot bunny: "Snape/Lupin - Snape begins to suspect Lupin is dating him just to get access to his fantastic personal library." Thanks! Hope you and mina_de_malfois enjoy the way I've written it. rexluscus beta read this, and found a lot of wandering commas and superfluous adjectives, but any remaining errors are my responsibility. The poem is "The More Loving One" by W.H. Auden.


This Might Take Me a Little Time

"I have a copy of that," Severus said casually, standing next to Lupin by the counter of the used bookstore. He had noticed the other man coming into the shop, and stood back in the book stacks, listening to his request.

"Do you?" Lupin turned to him, smiling. "Oh, Severus, do you think I might come by and have a look?"

Severus suppressed his inward emotional leap at the innocent bibliophilic smile on the dark creature's tired face. "Certainly, you are welcome," he replied, inclining his head with formal politeness. He was amused at the mobility of Lupin's eyebrows, rising as high as that.

"What time is good for you?" Lupin pulled out an appointment diary, which was also amusing, until Severus realized that it was probably a strategy Lupin had adopted to keep himself from making plans for times when he might accidentally eat someone. He invited the werewolf for tea.

This was how he came to have Lupin's Darjeeling-scented tongue in his mouth and his back pressed against his overfull and precarious bookshelf. Fortunately, it was one that held Muggle first editions rather than magical books, so he wasn't worried that he would nudge a book that could bite him on the bum. Though he was a bit shocked to feel Lupin's hand there, quite so soon.

Between Lupin's scrupulous neutrality and his own demonstrations of overt hostility over many years, he had no basis for this evidence of sudden, overwhelming passion. He knew that the books were quite a lure for Lupin, but he had never expected him to do this. Who knows why a werewolf does anything, he thought, and tried to reconcile his image of pensive, thoughtful Lupin with this person who was willing to whore himself out in exchange for a few hours in one of Severus' armchairs reading this or that rare grimmoire or scholarly monograph. There seemed to be no subject in Severus' collection that didn't make Lupin's pupils dilate and his eyes narrow speculatively.

It was only Lupin's second visit to the house that Dumbledore had left Severus in the will they had discovered after the war, and already Lupin felt he had to offer his body in exchange for what were really rather stodgy pleasures. Severus had lived long enough without even the pretense of affection or desire. There was no way he was going to turn this liaison down, but he would allow Lupin to take the lead. As much as he wanted to push the other man to his knees and fuck his still-enticing mouth, he would let Lupin decide how far to debase himself for access to his library.

"Good lord, Severus, is that all you?" Lupin whispered as he pressed against him. He was feeling the shape of Severus' erection through the fabric of his robes. Apparently it was a rhetorical question, as he then did drop to his knees to mouth Severus through the fabric. There wasn't much anyone could coherently say to that. Severus had measured himself, of course, and knew that Lupin wasn't feigning being impressed with the length of his cock, at least. He found the moaning and groaning frankly unbelievable, though arousing.

Soon Lupin had pushed up his robes, pulled down his pants, and had his hot, wet mouth around Severus' aching cock. It was years of training that enabled Severus to keep quiet, years of Occlumency that enabled him to keep thinking during something this mind-bogglingly pleasurable. A man didn't get this good at giving blowjobs only through experience; the werewolf had clearly done research. Perhaps once they knew each other a bit better, he would ask him about his sources. He imagined Lupin reading some sex-magic text in the Black family library and pushing down his own erection under the table with the heel of his hand--as he was doing now. Severus watched as Lupin unzipped his flies to free his hard cock, all the while bobbing his head and humming around Severus' cock. He was ready to--

"I'm getting close," he said in a low voice, and Lupin wanked himself faster and took him in further. There was definitely a book behind this; he could never--Lupin was moaning--Severus had to--his vision blurred and his ears popped as he came hard into the warmth and wet.

Lupin sucked him so hard as he came that Severus made a little involuntary sound.

Lupin looked up into Severus' face, a line of come drooling out of his mouth, and apparently whatever he saw there was inspiring, because he muttered, "Severus, yes," and pulled his own cock very hard. Jism spurted upward, as though under tremendous pressure, and Lupin rocked back on his heels, his face ecstatic with relief.

Severus cast a cleaning spell on both of them (only polite) and rearranged his clothing. Lupin stood up and hugged him, which was weird, but didn't try to kiss him again. Severus felt embarrassed in spite of the pleasant buzz of languor in the wake of the intense orgasm Lupin had given him.

"You can borrow the book," Severus muttered, looking at the desk.

Lupin was silent for a moment, his arms still around Severus. "Oh, that's--thank you very much." He dropped his arms to his sides, apparently at a loss.

"You can come back when you've finished it."

Lupin smiled shyly. "I'd like that."

"Goodbye, Lupin," Severus said, and he handed him the book. Then, seeing that Lupin was still looking a little unsettled, he shook his hand.

"Goodbye, Severus," Lupin said. He got into the fireplace and Flooed home.

---

The following week, Lupin's head appeared in the Floo. "Is this a good time for me to return your book?" he asked.

Of course it was; Severus had a lot of time on his hands these days.

He had money, and no job, and he'd pushed away a lifetime of potential friends by betraying nearly everyone on both sides in the war. Not to mention the many years he'd spent intentionally alienating any student or colleague who seemed to be close to discovering one of his many secrets.

Even during the interwar years, he hadn't wanted any of them to know he was bent. It was one thing for the Headmaster to defend him as a former Dark wizard. There were many families who sent children to Hogwarts, and not only in Slytherin, which didn't mind having a teacher with a background in Dark Arts. He was fairly sure their bias against a homosexual teacher was deeper than their bias against one who had allied himself with the embodiment of pure evil.

Obviously, Lupin had guessed, but it didn't matter now. Severus didn't have to teach any longer.

Lupin came through the Floo and put the book down on the desk.

"I wonder, as I'm here, whether you have these two," he said. "I don't dare attempt to pronounce them, but I've written them down."

He had copperplate handwriting, had Lupin. Severus had noticed it back at school, when they weren't even friends. Severus had enjoyed many a fantasy about those hands, before he knew what curse had doomed them to change into paws once a month.

"I have that one," Severus said, pointing. "Wise of you not to say it aloud; even the title is a spell."

"Is it all right if I read it here?" Lupin asked. "I don't think I have the skill to transport it safely."

Severus shrugged. "You're quite welcome to read it here," he said, "but let me set you up."

He set up a reading stand on the desk and drew on a set of heavy leather gloves to remove the book from the shelf and put it on the stand. Then he removed the gloves and gave them to Lupin.

"I suppose I should stay here while you're reading, as it's a bit dodgy even with the precautions."

"Thank you."

"You're welcome." He sat in the armchair where he could surreptitiously watch Lupin's expression as he read. Of course it was a fascinating book; that was why the author had made it so very dangerous. He didn't have to ask why Lupin would want to read such a book. The material on memory alone was worth any risk it took to read.

Lupin pored over the text for two hours, making notes with difficulty. He used a pencil rather than a quill because of the gloves. He forgot himself entirely, and his habitually bland expression was replaced by a fierce look.

It made Severus hope that he had in mind to pay him in the same coin as the last time.

Lupin finally rose and carefully shut the book, and holding it away from himself, put it back on the shelf where Severus had found it. He removed the gloves and put them on the desk, and then sat back in the chair.

"Amazing," he said quietly.

"Would you like a cup of tea?" Severus offered abruptly.

"Yes, thank you."

Severus brought Lupin into the kitchen. He made them a pot of tea with loose leaves, the proper way. The tea smelt of smoke and roses. He passed the milk and sugar, and some biscuits.

They sat quietly. Lupin looked very tired, and Severus readjusted his expectations.

He walked the werewolf to the Floo after they'd finished the tea. Lupin turned to him and kissed him, stroking his hair. He looked apologetic as he walked into the fireplace to Floo out. Severus resisted the impulse to tell him it was all right. He thought it was probably a good thing for Lupin to feel obligated to bring him off every visit. He didn't have to know that Severus secretly enjoyed just kissing; it was one aspect of sex that he hadn't experienced much. Most of the men he had known thought kissing was only for lovers, not for casual encounters or friends-with-benefits arrangements. He was glad that Lupin didn't hold with that line of thinking.

---

On the fourth visit two weeks later, Lupin came out of the Floo with a book for Severus. It was a Muggle book on the history of tea, and very interesting. While Severus was reading it, Lupin prowled around, looking through Severus' shelves.

"This is quite good," Severus said. "May I keep it for awhile?"

"It's a present." Lupin had his own nose buried in one of Severus' books.

"Thank you. Would you like a cuppa?"

"Yes, please."

They drank it in the library. Lupin seemed uncharacteristically on edge. Finally, after Severus had sent the tea things back to the kitchen, Lupin descended on him. He pushed Severus into one of the large armchairs, and rubbed himself against Severus' lap while they kissed and kissed. He undid Severus' flies and pushed down his pants, so that his cock sprang free. He stroked Severus' penis, which immediately filled and hardened. Lupin pulled a bottle of lubricant from the pocket of his robes and poured some into his hand, warming it. He slid his hands up and down Severus' already-erect cock. Then he muttered a spell, pulled up his robes--he wasn't wearing anything underneath-- knelt around Severus' thighs, and sat down on Severus' prick, taking him in one go.

Severus gasped. The sudden squeeze was hot and slick. Lupin rested there, his face red, and then began to move. His cock was against Severus' belly; Severus pulled up his shirt to feel it against his skin. Lupin began to fuck him, groaning as Severus' cock pressed against his prostate.

As Lupin got closer to orgasm he stopped making as much noise, but he was shaking. Severus grasped his cock and frigged it up and down as best he could--he could barely hold on, it was too much--and found that they both came at nearly the same time. Lupin's warm spunk coated his hand just as Severus was shuddering his way through his own climax.

Lupin stayed on him as long as he could, kissing Severus' face and then his slack, sated mouth. He rubbed their faces together. Severus let himself kiss Lupin back, trying to be undemanding. Then he remembered himself, and stopped. Lupin held him tightly in his arms, but finally Severus had softened and slipped out.

Lupin cleaned them both with a spell and they rearranged their clothing. Severus was less embarrassed than previously, but still didn't quite know what to do with himself. Lupin didn't have to give him a book and have sex with him. He was underestimating his charms.

He shook Lupin's hand when they said goodbye, and Lupin looked shocked and Apparated away instead of using the Floo.

---

About a month went by and no word from Lupin. Severus wanted to contact him, but thought it would make him look silly. Well, they were friends of a sort, he thought. It wasn't like he was being demanding if he wanted to know that Lupin was all right. After all, the man was a werewolf.

It took him about a week to make up his mind to firecall Lupin. He checked the moon phase charts first; it was the new moon, not the full, so that should be all right. He thought about what he might say. He didn't want to sound like a girl or something.

Finally he stuck his head in the fireplace. Lupin was sitting in his flat reading, naturally.

"Lupin," he said, with a nod.

"Severus," Lupin responded. "How are you?"

"I'm well, thank you. I was just--I wanted to make sure you--" He trailed off. "You look fine, so I suppose I have fulfilled my purpose for this call. Goodbye."

"Wait!" Lupin said. "Don't you want to come over?"

"I--oh. You don't have to invite me in, I'm just--"

"But I--please. I've been to your place several times."

Oh, well, when he put it that way, it made it seem as though Severus had been behaving snobbishly.

"Fine, I'll come through." He stuck his head back into his house to try to find something nice to bring. He looked in the poetry shelf. He had a first edition of Auden's Another Time from 1940. He picked it up and went through the Floo.

Lupin was waiting.

"I have something for you," Severus said abruptly. He handed Lupin the book.

Lupin's eyes widened. "But this is a first edition. I can't accept this."

Severus shrugged.

"I love Auden," Lupin said thickly. "I reread his collected poems often during the War."

"I don't really understand poetry," Severus admitted, trying not to show his discomfort at Lupin's display of emotion.

Lupin composed himself, and said calmly, "Really? You have so many of my favourite poets in your collection. I thought it was a sign of something we had in common."

"I have read most of those," Severus said, "and sometimes the words are beautiful or clever. But they don't move me. Some people are really moved by poetry."

"I had just been reading Auden, as it happens," Lupin admitted. There was a paperback beside his chair. Severus picked it up and read it out loud.

Looking up at the stars, I know quite well

That, for all they care, I can go to hell,

But on earth indifference is the least

We have to dread from man or beast.


How should we like it were stars to burn

With a passion for us we could not return?

If equal affection cannot be,

Let the more loving one be me.


Admirer as I think I am

Of stars that do not give a damn,

I cannot, now I see them, say

I missed one terribly all day.


Were all stars to disappear or die,

I should learn to look at an empty sky

And feel its total dark sublime,

Though this might take me a little time.

Lupin's eyes were tearing. Severus stopped reading. "See, I don't understand that reaction," he said.

"I just don't know how to read you, Severus," Lupin said. "I thought--I don't know--"

"You don't have to have sex with me just to use my library," Severus admitted finally. "I enjoy your company. You're quite welcome to just come over and read. I'm not--that is--it was just the poem. "

Lupin started to laugh. "I should be offended, shouldn't I," he sputtered.

"What?"

"Did you think I was having sex with you so that you would let me read your books?"

"Well. Why else would you?"

Lupin looked at him like he was an idiot.

"Because you want to," Severus guessed.

"Right in one."

"So why didn't you come back?" He thought he sounded a little childish, and worried that Lupin would mock him for it. He scowled darkly.

Lupin smiled. It was a wolfish smile--brilliant and predatory.

"Apparently we've had a bit of a miscommunication. Perhaps this is a good time to gain some clarity."

He was advancing on Severus, who found himself walking backward down a short hallway.

"You do want to have sex with me, don't you?" Lupin asked.

"Yes, of course."

Lupin laughed. "You say that like it's so obvious." The backs of Severus' knees hit a bed, and Lupin pushed him down onto it. He looked up into Lupin's face.

"Isn't it?"

"Is there anything you would prefer not to do in bed?"

"May I answer that on an ad hoc basis?"

Lupin laughed some more. Then he leaned down and kissed Severus on the mouth. Then he said, "For example, would it be all right if I fucked you, in this bed?" He ground his groin against Severus', and the heat of his erection found the answering heat of Severus' own.

Severus drew in a breath. "That would be better than all right."

"And then--"

"And then?"

"And then stay here, in this bed, with me?"

"All night?"

"All night, in the bed, with me. Sleep with me."

"Sleeping is something I do in a bed, generally."

"But with me; sleep in my arms, in my bed."

Severus captured Lupin's face in his hands, and kissed him very thoroughly.

Lupin got his breath back. "I believe we've already established that kisses, no matter how perfect, are not effective communication."

Severus swallowed. He had to show that he could be as brave as Lupin and say what he wanted. He thought for a moment. "I would be pleased to wake tomorrow morning to your arms about me."

Lupin's look was frank and open and very warm, and they kissed some more. He caressed Severus everywhere, unbuttoning his shirt, removing his vest, his trousers, touching every bit of skin he exposed. It was slow, because Severus was taking off Lupin's clothing as well. It was slow, because he knew he had all the time in the world to explore and learn, and that was a luxury he had never experienced. There were so many things he'd always wanted to do with someone else, someone like this, who knew him well and seemed to be fond of him.

Lupin responded to having his fingers sucked and licked. He liked to have his nipples tweaked and touched. He gasped and moved his hips when Severus licked his ear. He growled when Severus kissed along the line of hair from his navel to his cock.

Lupin knew how to tease Severus' arse until he was begging to be fucked. He knew how to open Severus so that his cock slid in easily, even though Severus hadn't had a fuck in years. Every moment of it, the slap of Lupin's balls against his thighs, the feel of Lupin's hot breath on his neck when he leaned forward, and always, the breaks for passionate kisses, felt like a tribute to Lupin's skills as a researcher. He had created some sort of index to Severus' body, and was in the process of cross-indexing--see under pleasure, see under arousal, see under intimacy.

Even these ludicrous thoughts couldn't hold off Severus' orgasm forever. Lupin's hot, thrusting prick was going to force it out of him with its wonderful pressure inside him; the weight of Lupin's body on his back pushing Severus' cock into the bed was making it inevitable.

They were both moaning, pushing against each other, everything smelling of sweat and sex.

"Let go," Lupin panted, and Severus did, coming hard, a shout escaping him as Lupin sank into him hard and forced the breath from his lungs.

Lupin groaned in his ear.

Afterward they held on to each other. It was very friendly.

Lupin kept kissing him.

"I really do like books, you know," Lupin said finally.

"I had suspected that, yes," Severus said dryly.

"What I mean is, I wasn't just using the library as an excuse."

Severus considered this. "I was, however."

Lupin kissed him again. "Let's have a shower, and something to eat."

The sun was setting, and light from the window turned Lupin's hair to silver and gold. He gazed into Severus' eyes. It was just like being lovers.