schemingreader

Title: Looking Like Our Parents
Author: schemingreader
Pairings: Snape/Harry, Ron/Hermione/Luna
Rating/Warnings: NC-17 for explicit male/male sex
Author's Note: Another in my No Looking Back ficlet series. Thanks to rexluscus for giving this baby the once-over.

Looking Like Our Parents

Harry woke up not sure where he was. He'd been having another dream about someone he loved getting killed. He had those dreams all the time, since it had happened more than once. The sound of weeping penetrated his sleep and made him think, "Is it Albus? I'd better go to him." He sat up in the bed, hand on wand, pulse racing, same as always.

But it wasn't the same. He wasn't in bed with Ginny. It wasn't his house. The divorce. Albus was a teenager.

He rubbed his eyes and put on his glasses. He was at Ron's house in one of the children's bedrooms. Right, they'd been out drinking and he must have come home with Ron. Had he really had that much? He stretched and got out of bed.

In the hallway, Luna Lovegood was sitting on the floor, crying.

"Is that you, Luna," he asked inanely. Right.

"Oh hi Harry," she said. He sat down next to her and she leaned her head against him and sniffled. "Did you ever make a very bad mistake?"

"Of course."

"I think I did that," Luna said. Tears continued to roll out of her large blue eyes. She looked a little like a baby doll that his daughter had that you fed water in a bottle and she cried and cried--same flat blue eyes, too. "It's not a good idea to fall in love with someone because they remind you of your mum. I didn't mean you," she said.

"I know, I mean," Harry said. His face was hot.

"Any road, Professor Snape is more like your dad than your mum."

Harry leaned back against the wall. "Don't tell him that."

Luna smiled. "I don't think he's going to let me see him," she said. "He didn't like me so well as he liked you."

Harry snorted. "He never liked me."

"Well, loved you then."

"Why do you think he loved me?"

She shrugged. "He was always looking for you, at school, in the Great Hall. He always looked to see where you were."

They sat together in the quiet of the house.

"It's Hermione who's like my mother," Luna said. "Not Ronald. He's like himself. I like him, you know."

"Yeah, I know."

"He was always funny, when we were at school, and he loves you, and he's Ginny's brother."

"You're tired. Why don't you go to bed?"

"I just don't think I should take Hermione away from her children," Luna said. "Because I hated it that I didn't have a mother." Her voice caught again.

Harry nodded. "Me too," he said unnecessarily, but Luna smiled at him through her tears.

"Yes, I liked it that you knew how I felt," she said. "And you were kind to me and wanted to be friends."

"We're friends now, too, Luna," Harry said.

"Ron wants me to stay," she said abruptly. "He was drunk, but I think it was true, what he said about that."

"He said he wants you to stay?"

"He said something like, 'Yeah, you're loony, but you're all right, and I want what Hermione wants, and anyway, you're all right,' and he kissed my forehead."

This hardly seemed to Harry like a ringing endorsement of a ménage à trois, but he just kept nodding, the way he did when one of his children was trying to talk his way out of tears. Luna sighed.

"I was in Rose's room," she said, "and I saw all the little girl things, and thought I hadn't considered what it would be like for her. I usually can think about how other people will feel."

"You think about it?" Harry turned this over for a minute. "It always seemed like part of your magic."

"No," she said, smiling. "My feelings were always a little different from everyone else's, so I put my faith in thinking to understand how they feel. I wish it came with my magic. It's why I always seem a bit barmy and off."

"It worked well with me," Harry said. "You were really good to me when Sirius died, and you knew what to say about Dobby, and during the battle, and after, also."

"I did the opposite of you," Luna said. She hugged her knees to her chest and leaned her cheek on the top of one knee. "You always think about what you missed when you were a child, and you try to give it to other people, right?"

"Something like that."

"I thought about what I missed when I was a child and tried to take it away from three other people to get it for myself. Not that Hermione is my mother. I just mean--I wanted her all to myself, like an infant." She thought for a minute. "I should go home and sleep in my own bed."

"Should I take you?" Harry said.

"No, I'm not drunk anymore. I cry when I'm not drunk," Luna said.

The bedroom door opened and Hermione burst out, hair wild and breasts showing very clearly through her nightgown. "Luna, don't leave," she said. "Don't leave."

"Did you hear us?" Luna asked.

"No, but Ron just explained that he tucked you into Rose's bed."

Tucked her in! No wonder he kissed her forehead. Harry started to laugh. He wondered if Ron had done the same with him. Too bad he'd passed out.

"Come to bed," Hermione said. She pulled Luna up off of the floor and into her arms.

"Not me," Harry said, but they weren't listening, just embracing, their eyes shut, precious to one another.

Harry was lonely and wanted to go home. A silvery doe tripped into the room on legs of light. "Where are you?" Harry said. The doe tilted her head in a familiar gesture of annoyance. That was what Snape wanted to know.

Harry Summoned his wand and cast his Patronus. The stag and the doe sniffed each other in the air. Their necks twined around one another for a moment. It was graceful. They paused--the stag reared--and then both Patronuses ran away from him.

Snape Apparated into the hallway.

"I was just out drinking," Harry said. "I wound up here because I got very drunk."

"You're not accountable to me," Snape said.

"But you came looking for me."

"You don't use a telephone," Snape said.

"I would never be unfaithful to you," Harry said.

"Oh shut up," Snape said. "I don't care what you do, or who you do." Harry snickered. It wasn't true, he was sure, but it was funny. Snape looked smug, as he always did whenever he made a joke.

"All right, if you don't care," Harry said. He snuck his arms around Snape's body. "I'll do you, then."

"You're an auror," Snape said abruptly.

"Yeah," Harry said. "I suppose I have a dangerous job."

"I suppose you could make selling shoes into a dangerous job," Snape said.

"I'm not like that anymore," Harry said. "I have children now. I'm careful. Sorry that I didn't let you know where I was." Snape nodded once. How many years had Snape been checking up on him? "You just like to know where I am, right?"

"Nothing that deliberate, Potter."

"I want--can we get out of here?"

"You don't feel the need to say goodbye?"

"What is it, 4AM?" Harry looked around.

Snape pursed his lips.

Harry wove their fingers together. "Would you come home with me?"

"I'll Apparate," Snape said. He was smooth about it--they were back in Harry's little flat when Harry opened his eyes.

"You haven't been doing magic," Harry said. Snape didn't say anything. It was true that he hadn't seen Snape wave a wand or perform a spell in months. "Did I ruin something?"

"No."

"Are you going to eat cooked food too now?"

"No."

"And meat?"

"Potter."

"Why do you still call me by my surname?" What a hypocrite, when he couldn't even think "Severus," much less say it. It was all he could do to drop the "Professor."

"What would you like me to call you, love?" He said it casually, as though he didn't mean it, with that slightly sardonic inflection--with breathtaking tenderness.

Harry's heart skipped. Snape withdrew his hand.

"I--" Harry said. He reached for the hand. "Love is good."

"What now?"

"Did you ever call my mother that? Love?" Harry said it to Snape's foot. He was wearing trainers. Weird.

"What are you asking?"

"'Cause I would be okay with it if you only--"

"What? If I only loved you because of her?"

"I know you think I'm an idiot--"

"Yes I do."

"Could we go to bed now please? If you don't mind I'd like to do you." Snape snorted, but when Harry kissed him he could feel Snape's erection pressing against his thigh. "Will you call me that while I'm sucking you off?"

"No," Snape said.

"Please, love," Harry said, and Snape pressed against him with a soft sound.

"Bed," Snape said, "Unless you want to do it on the living room floor." Harry dropped to his knees and began mouthing Snape through his trousers. "Right," Snape said, his voice a little strangled. Harry opened his flies and got Snape's cock into his mouth.

Snape's legs were trembling a little with the effort of standing up. "Why do you like this, Harry?" he said.

Harry had to stop sucking to answer. "It--I like the way you make noises and--you smell good."

Snape nodded.

"Was that not a good reason?" Harry asked.

"Are you afraid that I'll leave you?"

Harry couldn't answer. Snape looked down into his face and got down on the floor where Harry was kneeling and sat cross-legged, so they could see eye to eye.

"Everyone leaves," Harry said.

"Yes," Snape said. Of course he understood about that.

"I like to suck your cock because apparently I like to suck cock," Harry said, "You have a big beautiful cock and I like it."

"But it could be anyone's."

"No, it's because it's yours and I can't stop thinking that you're hard for me. You haven't come in my mouth once and I keep hoping you will." He put his hand on Snape's cock and just felt it, warm and alive.

"God yes," Snape said. "I want to take you to bed and fuck you all night."

Harry bent over his lap and got Snape's prick back into his mouth, and opened his own trousers. Snape lay down on the floor. When his cock slid out of Harry's mouth, they both made a disappointed sound, and Harry said, "Keep talking. Keep telling me what you want to do to me." Harry reclined on his side so that he could suck and wank at the same time.

"I want to fuck you," Snape said. "Oh God. I want to fuck your arse hard, so that you groan. I want you to scream because you come so hard on my cock."

Harry wanked faster.

"Spread your legs, I want to suck you too," Snape said. He got them into a sixty-nine position. It was heaven--his mouth was warm and wet, and his cock moved eagerly between Harry's lips. Harry moaned around his cock. Snape stroked his balls and worked his fingers into Harry's arse.

Snape took his mouth off and said, "I'm going to come, I'm going to come in your mouth now, love. I'm going to come," and he did, and Harry tasted him, and heard him, and felt his own balls draw up.

"Oh yes," he said, "please," and Snape took him back into his mouth and fucked him with his fingers, and Harry came, thrusting down into Snape's mouth.

He could feel his arse clutching Snape's fingers for minutes afterward as he twitched and jerked. Then Snape pulled his fingers out.

"Thanks," Harry said. He got up awkwardly, pulling up his clothes. He knew he shouldn't thank Snape for making him come. Even when he was married he never knew what to say, and would turn over and pretend to sleep. He didn't want to say "I love you," because it sounded stupid to say that after sex, even though he felt it, that thrumming sense of "good, good, good," down to his bones. He wanted to sleep in Snape's orbit, to smell him on the sheets and to feel close and whole. "Could you--would you like to stay?"

"Yes thank you," Snape said softly.

"I'll make you whatever you like for breakfast."

Snape looked at him. "I don't think that will be a problem," he said.