schemingreader

I was inspired during one of our fabulous IM sessions to regale rexluscus with my imagined bondage scene between Snape and Lupin. Because I know that I have a lot of friends on my flist who are almost as immature as I, I decided to type it up and fix the typos and (wincing)share it with you. SO YES, this is AN NC-17, WAY SMUTTY non-sensical fic snippet. It's basically like comment porn or something.

(Hmmm, or the beginning of some comment porn. Hmmmmmm....)




"Ooh, ouch, oh, I am finding this cruel beating unexpectedly erotic, you dastardly fellow," Lupin gasped, with surprisingly clear enunciation around the cloth gag in his mouth. His hands and feet were tied with stout cord.

"My," Snape replied, grunting with effort, "I too am finding myself inexplicably aroused. Perhaps I will pull down your trousers. After all, you cannot stop me."

"No, no, you vile beast!"

"You are the beast, Lupin."


"Ah, CRUEL Snape! How unkind you are, to remind me of my lycanthropy at such a moment, when I am a prisoner and cannot walk away in a huff!"

"But now I shall suck your penis."

"Ah, cruel, cruel Snape, how skilled you are, ohh oooh ahhh oh ouchie. Snape, Snape, oh, you are smacking my tushie with such ardor." Lupin paused to groan in involuntary ecstasy. "I suspect you harbor feelings for me."

"Mrphf," Snape retorted.

"Of course, you cannot speak with your mouth full of my Massive Werewolf Cock (TM)--oooooh oh oy gottenu, oh gosh and golly!"

"Mrphmf, ugh," Snape countered.

"Ah, I am coming, you bastard, oh! Ah! Eeeh!" he panted. "Watch the teeth!" He went into convulsions that resembled a grand mal seizure as his orgasm hit him like the proverbial freight train.

Snape wiped his lips with a self-satisfied smirk. "Now I'm going to fuck you hard, Lupin."

"No, no, I'm not ready! How could I be ready for anal sex a mere ten seconds after the best blowjob of my entire life?"

"Yes, I will use a magical spell."

"Oy! Whoa nellie! Fuck me now, Snape you, um, you jerk!" Lupin begged against his better judgment. "That's some spell!"

Snape smirked harder. "But first I must smack you around some more, and make it good, kid, because the other Death Eaters are listening."

"Ouch! Ouch!"

"What the hell, I know you are a werewolf, I probably can't do much that hurts as much as the transformation you undergo each month. You aren't fooling me, you aren't this much of a sissy—whoops, too American pansy."

"You are a dreadful meanie; you keep hurting my feelings."

"All right, but now I'm going to make it all better with some serious buttsex! I'm going to fuck you like you ain't been fucked before!"

"I've been ready for twenty minutes and you're wasting time potching my tuchus. Get on with it!" Lupin growled. He looked down. "Hot damn, you have quite the male organ there, Severus."

wait, Rex, what do they call that thing when a man smacks someone in the face with his wiener? I am getting derailed here

"Lupin, I am going to humiliate you by smacking you in the face with my Slytherin snake!" He did so, his hardening manly length bouncing back from Lupin's tear-streaked sweaty face with a satisfying boing.

"Oh, yes, so humiliated!" Remus groaned. "Fuck me now!"

"I'll just place your ankles..." Severus grunted "On my shoulders..."

"Oh, ooh, ahh! So much stimulation!" Lupin said in despair. "I will surely have an orgasm against my will! (Put my knees on your shoulders, you'll get better depth that way.)"

Snape panted with effort.

"Not that I want this or anything..." Lupin said. "Oh! Gevalt, Harder! Harder! Um, whatever that means…you bastard!"

"Ooh oh ahh! Remus! I...I love you! I'm coming!"

"Snape!"

"Lupin!" Snape responded in a horrified pant. "Shit, I so didn't mean to say that."

"Too late! Now you must save me from Voldemort, for though I am a dangerous dark creature and a serious badass, I am helpless in my bonds of hempen rope."

"You are?"

"Okay, well, no, not really, but it's so hard to get your attention. Kiss me, you fool!"