sim | salazar legacy 1.1

Oh, wow, it's been over a year since these games. I MISSED TS2 SO BAD...that I bought Sims 3 I lost the serial codes for the expansions that made the game super fun so I didn't bother reinstalling >:. Anyway, TS3 legacy. There's no way yet to mass prettify neighborhood sims (I don't think?) and I'm afraid what will happen to my game and/or launcher if I start downloading CAW towns at this point. Also I completely forgot how to cap so angles and shots and everything might make you cringe I AM SO SORRY D:

And yes, Salazar originates from Resident Evil.

...two seconds into his existence. Looks like we've got a live one here, folks. Seriously. Your Mood meter. It's GREEN. Please for the love of god do not be one of those Sims who are pissed off at...

Damien: ...cheap-ass chair will probably break as soon as I sit down why the hell is everything so white and so cheap and outside what will happen when it rains where is all my moneyIhateyouputmebackinthebinIdon'tevenhaveafuckingroofDIE.

..

Shall we have a look at his stats, then?

I seriously don't know if I should love or hate the random traits/favorites generator. I imagine him becoming the ~Emperor of Evil~, all Palpatine and ruining everyone's lives, maybe even stepping into a Vader suit once in a while to look more menacing...all the while playing the Dora the Explorer theme song, bouncing up and down and clapping like a damn fool after a job well done.

That's Darth Vader, listening to Dora the Explorer, and acting all giddy like how a four-year-old gets when she's first in line to sit on Santa's lap.

...his LTW wasn't randomized, but that's beside the point.

Damien: This SUCKS. Go breed someone else.

Oh, but Damien, dear, I'm sure Sunset Valley could benefit from the smiling faces of you and your lineage!

The only thing he likes at the moment is The Warlock of Pallidia. And it's always this book, nevermind the fact that he has at least one other fictional book in his library.

As entertaining as it was to watch Damien read for hours on end, I had to put a halt to the exhilarating event and send him out to town to get a job and mingle with the locals.

Of course, Damien had to decide to hate the first person he saw.

The next few pictures have a wee bit of texture fail, I apologize (and blame it on WA).

Thornton: You see, I'm having these problems with my wife--
Damien: Oh, Goooooooooodddd. We just met. I don't caaaaaarrreeee.

Thornton continues on with his sob story, and for some reason, his hating children offends Damien.

As evidenced by this "how fucking dare you" face.

He does get along with his wife, but maybe that's only because she's rich and he hates everything on his lot.

And because hooking up with her might piss Thornton off.

I send Damien to the gym, because he needs to be a fit emperor and at this point he isn't going to exercise himself. Also pretty tourist, but long distance relationships are hard to maintain (probably especially for him).

Damien: Walking up a flight of stairs...so that's how Sims get fat.

The only other two (local) females present are these two. The YA looks...fun.

Damien: You know that one family across town with the single dad and his mom HEY I HEAR SHE'S BATSHIT don't tell anyone.

Gossip. You fail it.

He flirted with her and somehow found out that they were incompatible and there was no prospects for a relationship, ever.

AS IF THAT STOPPED ANYONE BEFORE.

Damien: HOLY SHIT, CHEAP ASSED CHAIR HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO SIT ON IT WITH A COUNTER THERE WHAT THE HELL THIS RUINS MY DAY I HATE THIS DAY FOREVER.

Damien: The bread absorbs the aroma of piss, but at least the toilet is more expensive and comfortable than that chair.

His first day of work.

WHY DON'T YOU JUST RUN?

You almost look happy! No, Damien, this is not a field trip.

He got this moodlet while he was in jail. TELL ME YOU DID NOT HAVE FUN WHILE YOU WERE IN JAIL.

His mood only gets better while reading that, frickin geek.

Second day.

...................

Damn, that teleportation spell in chapter five might have helped us out with this one. /sarcasm!

Damien: I SPENT TWO DAYS IN JAIL AND I STILL DON'T HAVE FRIENDS.

That's probably for the best.

As ~~punishment for whatever it was he was doing wrong~~ to take advantage of the situation at hand, I made him jog home.

He decides that it's better if he hails a cab halfway there and goes to some restaurant.

The expensive one.

Oddly enough, they let him walk. So he can get arrested for just showing up at work but not the ol' Dine & Ditch??

Ohoho, I know that face. :]

Damien: And they'll never know it was me.

The candle? Oh, you thieving bastard, you.

He then spends a few minutes congratulating himself on his victory. Because the owner of the establishment isn't looking for the bastard who ordered the lobster thermidor and vintage Nectar and left, or anything.

Damien is still failing life in general, so I decided it was time for a new approach.

Namely, becoming bffs with his rich neighbor so he could come over and swipe stuff every once in a while.

Unfortunately(?) for Damien, Agatha is a rather desperate Helpless Romantic and she starts hitting on him as soon as she possibly could.

Agatha: *CENSORED* *CENSORED* *CENSORED* plow and *CENSORED* me.

Agatha: I *CENSORED* *CENSORED* your "harddrive" and *CENSORED* *CENSORED* *CENSORED*
Damien: ...the hell?

Damien: SIIIIGH.

Damien: You know what, fuck it, AIN'T NOTHING IN THIS HOUSE WORTH LIVING THROUGH THAT.

The only thing besides reading fantasy Damien hasn't managed to fail remarkably at is working out, so he spends more time than necessary at the gym. The dashing gentlemen to his side is his boss.

...never mind. way2fail in front of your boss.

After, he goes to the park to find a girlfriend, only to feel the need to clean up all the picnic baskets in the area.

Also to hate on people he doesn't even know.

Blair Wainright?: Would you mind if I offered to pull that stick out of your ass and brighten your day some?

Something tells me that he would.

Blair?: I'm only trying to help out, you know, you don't have to humiliate me (???) in public. :(

Damien: Humiliate you? So sorry, didn't mean to do anything like that at all.

Damien: I MEANT TO TELL YOU TO FUCK OFF.

He is obviously not going to have any real luck with the ladies any time soon (he's getting old fast), so I bring in that incompatible chick from the gym. "Incompatibility" in Simlish means "let's have hate sex", apparently, so you never know.

Yeah, he's a real class act, that Damien.

See, hate sex.

Damien takes advantage of her exhausted state and proposes to her while she doesn't have the brains to realize that they really shouldn't be getting along and say no.

She brings enough money in for walls -- actual WALLS. That make ROOMS. And also?

She is one vainglorious bitch.

Damien: HEH, check out this sweet invisible bling.

He has a new hobby now that he has a sink. I personally think he's taking a step or two back with this one.

Bump goes baby~

Tori: This pregnancy thing is making my face all fat and hideous and oily and disgusting, ugh, when can I get this thing out of me again?

This is the first time Damien's approached a complete stranger with something nice to say.

Of course, it just so happens that the other party would want to start shit instead.

Damien: ...

Damien: HOW DARE YOU INSULT MY LEAN-TO YOU BASTARD.
Agnes: ???

Agnes: I'm not sure how this makes me feel.

Nick: /agonized
Damien: >:( BITCHES DON'T MESS.
Agnes: /doesn't care

Damien goes to pick on Blair?? when this chick shows up and attempts to hit on him.

Damien: What the HELL don't you see this invisible ring on my finger I am MARRIED and don't need ANYONE ELSE in my life.

Especially if they're gonna be as self-centered as Tori amirite?

You can't see this, but these waffles are days old.

APPARENTLY EATING SPOILED FOOD IS ILLEGAL or smsht. The popos are about as sick of seeing him in that car as I am.

LABOR TIME

Damien: What wait aww HELL NO, NOT THE FLOOR!

It's a boy, Landon. He rolled the insane and artistic traits. His daddy's so enthused about it all.

Damien: Why won't it shut up?
Tori: /admires reflection in her invisible hand mirror.

Damien: I HATE THIS GET OFF THE DAMN PHONE AND DO SOMETHING ABOUT YOUR KID.

Tori: lol no, I have more important things to do.

Early birthday because...baby. :|

Damien: HOLY SHIT THIS IS EXCITING I COULDN'T BE MORE EXCITED WOO YEAH HELL YEAH BIRTHDAY PARTY, NO MORE BABIES.

Landon is the most enthused toddler I ever did see.

This shot, don't let it fool you. It never happens again.

Tori: Now that this baby bs is over and done with...

Landon: CAN YOU PLEASE STOP BEING FULL OF YOURSELF FOR ONE MINUTE TO FILL MY SOCIAL NEEDS?

Landon: ..........on second thought, no.

It's not fun when there's only one prospect for heir.

And this time around is when they remember that hey, they're not compatible and why the hell are they married and starting a family?

Pssst, Damien. That's your kid you're insulting.

Damien: WHAT THE FUCK, IT STILL CRIES.

Damien: DOESN'T IT LEARN TO SHUT UP AS A TODDLER?

Damien: What is my life?

Ahaha, dude. You'll probably like it when you're old.

Damien: MY LIFE IS YOUR FAULT. YOU'RE SO BORING AND YOU ONLY INTERACT WITH MIRRORS AND I SHOULD HAVE BONED YOUR EX-ROOMMATE WHEN I HAD THE CHANCE.

Damien: FML.

Tori: What is he talking about, I do a lot more than just look at my pretty self in the mirror!

No, sweetie. You don't.

Small wonder that she goes into labor in front of one.

She comes home from the hospital with a basket, which she promptly leaves out in the middle of the floor so she could go to the bathroom (probably to check herself in the mirror).

Landon: What.

Damien: OH HELL NO.

...yeaaaah, two. Both girls, one named Aria (genius and friendly), the other named Kanami (clumsy, grumpy...lol).

Damien: Iamsosickofthisshit.

Damien: CAN I PLEASE DIE NOW?!

Here are the girls, crying for food and attention.

Damien: We are NOT feeding them, that is a waste of perfectly good food.

We all know what Tori would rather be doing.

Damien: THIS IS FUCKING IDIOTIC. WHY DO I HAVE TO DO ANYTHING ABOUT THOSE BRATS, THEY DIDN'T COME OUT OF MY VAGINA NOW DID THEY?

Damien: FUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCK.

Tori: I hope you both know that I am missing some valuable face time because of you.

Tori: /beauty sleep
Damien: WHY DID YOU JUST GO TO BED?!?!11

It's about damn time this one's birthday rolls around.

He rolled no sense of humor, and now his permanent indifference can make sense.

...

Landon: So, Landon, how was your day?

Landon: Horrible, Landon, my whole family won't shut up about themselves and it's annoying and if I cared a little more maybe I'd say something but I don't.