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Last time we met Damien Salazar, who hated just about everything. He married some chick named Tori, who loved herself. And then generation two happened.  Kanami: THIS BOTTLE OF MILK, OHMYGOD. IT IS THE ABSOLUTE GREATEST THING EVER. JUST LOOK AT IT AND ALL ITS GREEN ON THE INSIDE YEAH, YOU KNOW IT'S AWESOME WHEN IT'S FUCKING GREEN. ...at least there's someone in this house who is genuinely happy without looking at herself in the mirror?   Of course Damien has to come in and piss over all that is joyful in the world.  Tori: This child doesn't belong here........ Landon: No shit >:/ Tori: .... /stares into nothing in particular  Damien decides to stay FAR, FAR away from this one. Which is a bad thing, because Landon's too young to do anything and Tori is either too clueless and/or self-involved to care.  Aria: WAIT, WHAT WHY IS NOBODY DOING ANYTHING.  Aria: Seriously I need to use the xylophone and she is in the way, get her out.  Kanami is feeling all the ~love :/  Landon: TAKE A HINT, NOBODY WANTS YOU HERE SO LEAVE.  Landon: You know how they have leashes for toddlers? They need to nozzles, too. Whoever develops a baby nuzzle deserves a gold star.  Not pictured: Kanami throwing some tantrum about something, idk what she does it a lot. Pictured: Landon seriously contemplating joining ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-community.gif){kind=small} childfree and Tori not having a fucking clue and eating days-old cake. Kanami: PLEASE CHANGE ME? Damien: ONLY IF YOU SHUT UP FOREVER IF I DO.  Kanami: WHY DOES EVERYBODY HATE ME I WANT TO GO TO BED DADDY PLEASE TAKE ME TO BED I'M SO TIRED AND THE FLOOR ISN'T COMFORTABLE REALLY :( Damien: ................................................   Tori: I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHY I AM OUT HERE. THIS WHOLE SITUATION IS PISSING ME OFF. She doesn't do anything about the kid on the floor except scowl to herself.  ...aaand Damien is left to take care of the problem. Seriously, Tori, how hard is it to put your toddler in her crib?  Kanami: I am so lonely LOVE ME SOMEBODY PLEASE :(  Landon got sick of capslock, babies, and his whole house in general and rolled the want to go to the art museum. I only happily obliged.     ...until I realized that Landon only wanted out to go insane in the privacy of a building no one in the town seems to care for. CHYLE...  It's Damien's birthday already :(  Damien: MY ONLY WISH IS TO BE SINGLE AND CHILDLESS AND AWAY FROM THIS GOD-FORSAKEN TOWN.  Damien:  Tori: TEEHEE WRINKLES.  Oh, and Tori decided that she wants another fucking kid. Since she's doing SO WELL with the ones she already has.  Tori: NO ONE CAN RESIST THIS MAGNIFICENT ~BEAUTY.  Damien: You disgust me, get the fuck out of my bed. Tori: 8(  Nothing a little eye candy can't fix~  INSTANT BABY: JUST ADD SPARKLES. The red vomit is a little unsettling, I'll admit.  Landon: THIS MUSIC IS SO HORRIBLE MUST ESCAPE /attempts suicide Yes, that is Kanami on the xylophone.  Speaking of skilling, Landon is already halfway maxed in the paint skill!  Damien. Hugging. Autonomously. Damien. Hugging. Autonomously. ................  .......................CLEARLY YOU ARE GETTING SENILE A BIT TOO EARLY, YES.  Landon: HAHA! I'M TELLING EVERYONE IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD THAT YOU HUGGED ME. Damien: Wait what no DON'T DO THAT I SWEAR TO GOD--!  To add to this fuckery that is Damien's current state of mind, he wanted to throw a party. To his credit, he doesn't look happy about this at all.  Landon: SERIOUSLY? You want me to play tag with A PREGNANT WOMAN, HER BEST FRIEND, and SOME RANDOM CHICK I DON'T EVEN KNOW? I didn't want you to do anything. :|  It isn't a party until someone (Damien) loses their shit.  The point of the party was to celebrate the twins' birthday, but I didn't plan it right as you can't place birthday cakes on picnic tables. We can just assume that Damien chased away the partygoers with empty threats and mean looks.  Aria grew up emo and was assigned the Inappropriate trait.  And despite the evil expression, Kanami is now a clumsy and unlucky grump.   ALL RIGHT, I GET IT, you lack the capacity for basic problem solving, THERE IS NO NEED TO WHINE.  Man, who's a little Daddy's girl? :/  Kanami: You came home with my idiot brother, why are you following me around?  Kanami: NO, SERIOUSLY, STOP IT, YOU'RE BUGGING ME.  Damien: What the HELL, how much attention do you guys need?!    Good to know that the time-honored tradition of "Kill Somebody with a Ball" still burns within the hearts of every Sim everywhere.  Stalker Ursine: So you say if I grate on everyone's nerves enough I just might end up in this legacy?  Tori: HEY, IF I CAN GET IN, ANYTHING CAN HAPPEN, KID.  Oh, look, more cake to rot in the fridge!  o hai there apathy  Kanami: WHO THE HELL INVITED YOU HERE. I SWEAR, I AM NEVER GOING TO SCHOOL AGAIN IF IT MEANS I CAN STAY FAR THE HELL AWAY FROM YOU.  Landon after a makeover. Err...somehow he lost one of his traits, so he only has Artistic, Insane and Lucky (his newest one). I don't know how that happened :(  This family is so poor they can't afford a better sink.  Aria: I hope no one is too upset that the sink is broken. :(  Damien: Awww, it's okay, sweetie. You're a blond, female kid; things like that just happen to your type of people. You can't help being stupid and accident prone, so Daddy forgives you. lmao ILU patronize interaction  Aria: HOW THE HELL ARE ASSES LIKE YOU ALLOWED TO EXIST?  Last birth for a while (hopefully).  It must be horrible spending good money touring parts of lands halfway around the globe only to have your whole experience marred forever by the sight of some woman's placenta dropping onto the entry steps of the local hospital. Imagine the awkward moments you'd have when all those wanting to gain a little bit of insight into life in the Western world ask you for your tales.  Pictorial evidence that Damien hates his children and has no business fathering another one.  Tori gets to age up after she comes home, since she was supposed to age a few days before but couldn't due to being pregnant. Also EVERY BIRTHDAY IS HILARIOUS, am I right, Aria?  Landon: Wow, you look...exactly the same. New hair for him since the mesh for his other one was a little wonky.  Landon: ......................  Kanami: LET ME TELL YOU ALL ABOUT MY HATE FOR SCHOOL.  Kanami: It is so boring and such hard work and there are desks there too. Did you know that I hate desks? Well, I hate desks.  Damien: WHOOP WELL THAT WAS INTERESTING, G2G, LATER. Kanami: >:(  .......IS THAT EVEN NECESSARY. Also the baby in the crib exists, I swear. His name is Marco.    WHICH ONE OF THESE IS NOT LIKE THE OTHER? It will come at no surprise to anyone that she is just barely scraping by with a D average.  While this one...  ....yeah.  Tori: THIS PERSON IS BLOCKING MY WAY AND I DON'T KNOW WHAT ELSE TO DO BUT TO WAVE MY HANDS IN THE AIR. WHAT? ASK HIM TO MOVE? WHY WOULD THAT WORK??? Landon: IDGI, guys. Damien: HELP!! MY BRAIN CELLS ARE DYING AT A RAPID RATE, I NEED TO GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE!  Other than being kind of pretty, I forget what the purpose of this pic was. Probably to help suggest that the Salazars' steady diet of BIRTHDAY CAKE might have something to do with how they are.  Landon: HEY, YOU. BUSH. I SEE YOU THERE, LOOKING AT ME LIKE I'M SOME KIND OF PSYCHO FOR MY CHOICE OF EVENING ATTIRE.  Landon: What, are you LAUGHING now? WHY ARE YOU LAUGHING?!?  Landon: ...oh, Landon. Are you talking to inanimate objects again? You should get that checked.  Marco's birthday seems like a good place to end. If you're trying to hide, behind Tori's non-existent rack might not be the best place. TODDLER POST-MAKEOVER PIC  |
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